It was not Cat’s intention to seduce Alec. She would not have even known how to do such a thing.
All she knew, in that moment, was the storm was terrifying and her friend, who was sharing her bed, was her safe place. And he did, in fact, look quite handsome. She also couldn’t help thinking about how it was still there. That electricity that had startled her the only other times she’d felt his lips with hers. She also noticed something else—something far deeper than just the desire-inducing shock of the connection of their mouths. She had no idea what it was, but something about it made her want to crawl inside his chest and make a permanent home for herself there. Since that was impossible, she simply wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on for dear life as he shifted over on top of her.
After a few moments, Cat noticed Alec's pesky shirt had become an annoying barrier that separated her from the warmth of everything in him that was good and important to her. Without even thinking, her fingertips traveled the length of his torso, hooked the hem, and pulled the shirt over his head, separating their mouths only briefly.
Her own shirt had ridden up just slightly, allowing their skin to come into contact for the first time. The feeling of the bare flatness of his lower stomach against hers could only be described in one word—delicious.
Descriptors didn't matter in this moment, however. Words were unnecessary. There was only need.
So off came her shirt as well, and they leapt over their platonic boundaries and into the throes of passion.
Alec’s tongue and lips tangled around hers, his hands at her waist and thumbs rubbing her bare skin. Cat's body responded in the most natural way possible, and it left her aching for more. Alec's body was pressed firmly against her, and she noticed he responded as well.
She could feel his…She knew what it was called, but even in this moment of growing intimacy, she was still too shy to even think the word for it. But it was there, warm and firm and trying to break free through his jeans. It unleashed a primal desire within her that was more than a bit startling and quite unexpected.
Wasn’t she the one who said friends don’t think about each other this way? She knew friends most certainly didn’t do what she and Alec were doing right then, so what exactly was happening between them? Why were they suddenly fooling around in her bedroom as if they’d been dating for almost a year instead of having been “just friends” this whole time? And furthermore, why was she overwhelmingly pleased by the stark change in their interaction?
She wasn’t sure, and regardless of how little sense it made, she was ready to take this not-so-little make-out session all the way. She could figure everything else out later.
Alec was a gentleman, the quintessential nice guy, and Cat knew it. She knew he'd never presume to coax or pressure her into such an activity, but the warmth on her hip made it obvious he was receptive to the idea. So she threw caution to the wind and took the initiative, hoping he’d simply follow her lead.
So, with their lips still firmly attached, she took his hand and allowed her mind to drift to a blatantly erotic place.
She guided his hand to the place she'd only previously allowed her own, in the secrecy of her own private self-indulgence, which was the only way she knew what to do in this situation.
With her palm on the back of his hand, she moved it from its resting place on her waist up to one of her breasts, and she heard Alec draw in his breath sharply when he made contact.
With her fingertips on his, she urged him to graze her nipple, roll it in between his thumb and forefinger, and gently squeeze as her wanton gaze caught his.
It appeared to be all the coaxing he needed, and he took over from there as his mouth moved from her lips to her neck. He paused there briefly to kiss her collarbone and then continued to her chest. He let his mouth descend over the other peak as he circled with his tongue and scattered kisses and nips here and there.
Cat couldn't tell if the spinning of her head was the lingering vodka or simply the filling of her lungs with his intoxicating pheromones, but whatever it was, it caused her to grip his hand again, and she slid it down her stomach, below the waistband of her shorts, to the gathering wetness at the high point between her inner thighs.
With one hand, she directed his index and middle fingers to circle and stroke her in the way she liked, while the other was wrapped around his neck and rewarded him with a languid brush of her fingertips every time the flick of his tongue was particularly pleasing. Every unspoken command she gave earned quiet, sporadic moans from him, the low vibrations of which sent tingles over her breast and throughout her body. She felt his warmth against her side grow hotter and harder.
Cat took the opportunity of Alec being totally occupied and pulled off her remaining clothes. She wouldn't be needing them for a while.
*
Alec couldn't tell if he was dreaming or not.
The only time he'd previously found himself in this situation with Cat was in his sleep. Even then, she'd never taken the lead like this. Every time he'd dreamed of making love to her, he pictured her as a demure, hesitant creature. In reality, however, it had become immediately apparent that as shy as Cat seemed to be, she was in control of her sexual side, knew exactly what she wanted, and had no hesitancy in communicating it to him. And that, combined with his intense attraction and love for her, drove Alec wild.
He had to keep his eyes open and tethered to her face in order to remind himself that this was, in fact, actually happening.
He continued to massage her breast with his tongue and made infinite figure eights with his fingers below. Cat’s chin lifted and dipped, her tongue moistening her lips as she breathed slowly and deeply.
In spite of his own increasing arousal, he was perfectly content to simply do this for her, let her feel good and not go any further, but it became obvious she wasn't. He felt her reach into his jeans, take firm hold of him, and start stroking up and down. He ceased all of his movements and gaped at Cat with huge eyes.
“Cat—” Alec struggled to speak. “Cat, I won’t be able to stop.”
She looked him square in the eye. “Then don’t.”
He hesitated.
"Don't be afraid of me, Alec," she whispered. "This doesn't have to change anything."
"But it will, Cat. It'll change everything." Alec couldn't believe he was protesting, but—as always—it boiled down to his fear of losing her. A little fooling around was one thing, but this…
"Then maybe everything should change," Cat pointedly suggested.
And then he became powerless to stop himself.
All rational thought left Alec's brain. He swiftly tore off his jeans, stopping briefly to pull a condom out of his wallet, ripping the foil with his teeth and rolling it on, and then finally, finally, climbed in between her legs and kissed her face. He paused heavily, preparing himself for something he'd previously resigned to live his life without.
If he had been thinking at all, Alec would have taken that moment to pause and finally explain to Cat that when he'd said he'd loved her all of those times, he meant in this way. He was in love with her. And she had been oblivious to it.
But seeing as all of his blood had rushed south, he could only communicate with his body. The only thing that brought him out of his trance was when he plunged the full length of himself inside of her, and she dug her nails into his back and let out a pain-filled yelp.
He froze.
"Shit!" Alec gasped through labored breaths. "Oh god…I'm sorry, Cat. I forgot."
He turned her chin upward so he could see her face. She winced, but appeared okay. He couldn't be sure though.
"We don't have to do this," he whispered.
Cat raised her eyebrows just slightly.
"I think we already are," she pointed out.
"Are you okay?"
She nodded.
"Are you sure you wa—"
"Yes," she stated definitively.
Alec stared at her, and Cat gave him a reassuring nod.
"Okay…okay." He paused to kiss her. "It should only hurt for a little bit."
She nodded again, and he let his eyes close. She took hold of his chin.
"Look at me," she directed. "Your eyes. I love your eyes. I want to watch them."
Alec did as he was told and smiled at her. He locked his gaze with hers as he held the sides of her face and began to slowly stroke.
In previous experiences, he'd never thought to purposely look anyone directly in their eyes, and he was struck by how much more intimate and sensual it made the already very personal act.
And it was the nail in the coffin for him. He knew now. He was going to love Cat for the rest of his life. That fact had a lot of heavy implications for Alec, but this was neither the time nor the place to deal with them. But he would. Later. Right now, there was only the movement.
*
As he moved in her, Cat noticed Alec was right; it only hurt for a few seconds, but she noticed if she pressed her inner muscles down around him, it not only eased the pain, but created an intensely pleasurable sensation.
And Cat couldn't get enough of it.
She instinctively wrapped her legs around his hips and he gripped one of her thighs as he continued to repeatedly press into her, the pace picking up and the pleasure building like a low, slow crescendo.
Cat began to notice a specific gyration of Alec's groin against her was significantly more satisfying, so she grabbed his ass and repeated the motion.
"Like this…" she breathed. "Go like this…that's perfect…you feel amazing."
Alec furrowed his brow. "Damn, Cat, you really know what you're doing."
"I just know what feels good."
After he had the rhythm down, she lifted her hands to hold his face briefly, until he clutched them and swiftly pinned both of her wrists to the sheets above her head. Her eyelashes fluttered, and her breath came so quickly, all of which seemed to spur him on, and he nipped her earlobe and whispered, "God, you're so beautiful…how are you even real?"
Longer thrusts, deeper. His lips grazed her chin and her cheek. Her fingers combed his hair. With their gazes still holding, they moved as if they were one body, a singular soul, and she couldn’t help wondering why they hadn’t done this before now. It was becoming more than she could process. She made noises she’d never heard escape her throat. She couldn't stop saying his name, calling him "baby," and telling him he was amazing.
Her internal crescendo started approaching a point where Cat thought she'd either go blind or pass out…maybe both. And in her naïveté, she believed it was customary to inform Alec of what was about to take place.
"Alec…Alec," she gasped as she gulped in oxygen. "Baby, I'm gonna…I'm gonna…"
"Shh," he breathed into her ear. "You don't have to tell me. I can feel it."
Just as Cat thought she was going to explode, she did. And it was a world of sensual difference from what she'd ever done for herself in the past.
It was like an earthquake inside of her, and she finally broke their eye contact, throwing her head backward as she cried out and grasped at his hair.
Her vision came back just in time to see Alec knit his brow as he pressed into her long and hard, one last time. She couldn't help but notice an internal twitch from him as he squeezed his arms around her back, pressed his forehead into her cheek, and let out a guttural moan that was punctuated by an expletive.
After he held her tightly for just a few seconds, dusting her face with eyelash flutters and small kisses, Alec lifted himself up and collapsed onto his back next to Cat. They both lay, breathing heavily, staring at the ceiling, and didn't say a word.
Was there anything to say? She had no idea, because she was currently on another planet.
"Cat?" Alec ventured. "Are you—"
"Holy shit, that was amazing," Cat muttered through her panting, more to the ceiling than to the man sharing her bed who was responsible for the amazing thing she'd just experienced. "I mean…that was amazing! Oh my god. I've never fel—I mean…that was just…like…Is it always that good? I've heard from people who've said that can’t happen the first time, but that was just…wow. Holy shit, I'm glad I waited for you."
She heard Alec chuckle a few times, and she eventually made her way back to Earth.
"I gotta be honest with you, Cat. This is really not the reaction I was expecting from you."
"What were you expecting?"
"I was worried that you'd get all…like…I dunno…weird about it."
"Why?"
"Because, this is kind of…uncharted territory for us, and you've never done it before," Alec explained and then nudged her with his elbow. "Although you coulda fooled me."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Cat blurted out, tossing a pillow at his chest.
"Nothing!" He chuckled. "You just…sort of…didn't hold back. It's not bad, I promise. It was actually pretty awesome."
"You know, I may have been a virgin, but I'm not a prude. I know how to take care of myself. If you know what I mean," she said coyly.
"Apparently." He smirked.
"Don't get me wrong; sex with someone else is obviously way better than sex with yourself, but it certainly helped me to hold off as long as I did."
"So, why did you hold off until now?"
"I told you, Anthony never let any boys come near me."
"Like, at all? So you've never even had a boyfriend or anything like that?"
"No, I've had boyfriends."
"Why didn't you do it with any of them?"
"Other than the fact that I wasn't allowed to be alone with any of them?" Cat laughed and then pulled the sheet up over both of them, as if they had anything to hide from each other anymore. "I never wanted my first time to be with a boyfriend."
"Why not?"
Cat shrugged. "Boyfriends seem to be kind of territorial and have the upper hand, at least the ones I had. I always wanted to feel like I was on equal footing, and not like I was just going through the motions of an obligatory rite of passage. Not like I owed it to some guy just because he took me on dates and impressed my family. I wanted to enjoy it and not be nervous or afraid of what was happening. So, when the opportunity sort of presented itself just now, I felt like it was kind of an ideal set of circumstances. It became obvious that you wanted it." She giggled and nudged him playfully. "And I realized I wanted it, too, and I'm so comfortable with you that I just thought…what the hell? I knew it wouldn't get any better than what we have."
Alec smiled. "What do we have?"
She rolled her eyes and gave him a shove. "We're friends, genius. And we're equals. I also trust you more than I could have ever trusted any random boyfriend. All the hundreds of times I've been alone with you, you nev—"
Cat stopped herself as those hundreds of little puzzle pieces fell together and a semi-startling possibility burst into her brain, then flipped onto her side to finally face her friend.
"Alec, I need to ask you something."
He raised his eyebrows. "Okay."
"Have you ever thought about me like this? I mean, before tonight?"
"Uh…I uh…What do you mean?"
She gestured toward her sheet-clad body. "Like this, have you ever thought about me like this?"
Alec continued to stammer, so Cat just cut to the chase.
"Have you ever thought about having sex with me?"
His eyes shifted from side to side, and his mouth opened a few times as if he tried to piece together a response.
"Well, I mean…Cat…you're very beautiful, and I care about you a lot…but I respect you, and I'd never want to be—"
She raised her eyebrows at him. "So, you have thought about it."
He winced. "Yeah."
She studied his face carefully. He suddenly resembled a child who’d been caught with his hand in a cookie jar, and it made her all the more suspicious.
"And all those times you said you loved me?" Cat began.
Suddenly, the lights flickered on, and Alec took on the appearance of a deer in headlights. Cat realized she knew the answer before she even asked the next question, but she went ahead and asked him anyway.
"Alec, are you in love with me?"