Alec started to run after Cat but got caught up by people grabbing him and shaking his hand as the celebrating began. She had left the set still crying, and he wanted to go to her so badly.
He knew she felt the scar, knew she knew what he’d done, and since he knew she knew who he was now, he knew she was livid. But it was also midnight, and he knew she needed to sleep. He did too, so he got cleaned up and made his way back to the hotel, but he purposed himself to talk to her first thing the next day.
* * * *
All morning as he got dressed for the long day of post-filming interviews, Alec mulled over words in his mind about how he would broach the subject. Finally, after not being able to come up with anything that seemed even remotely appropriate, he decided he’d just wing it when he finally got a moment alone with her—which was easier said than done with the way she’d been avoiding him for weeks.
He glanced at his watch. They needed to be on set for interviews in just a few minutes, so Alec made his way to her trailer and knocked on the door.
“It’s open,” her voice called.
She sounded pleasant enough, and he wondered if she was feeling better about everything today. So he poked his head inside to see her sitting at her vanity applying makeup.
"Got about five minutes, Cat,” he hollered into the room and immediately winced. He hadn’t meant to call her that, but her old nickname had been right at the back of his throat for weeks now, and it simply jumped out unintentionally.
And much to his surprise, she didn’t even notice.
"Thank you, almost done,” she replied, smoothing on some lipstick.
Alec made a face at her in the reflection, which went unnoticed, and he let himself inside as he closed the door behind him.
"What, you're not gonna correct me?" he demanded, feeling slightly pissed off all of a sudden. He wasn’t sure if it was just at the situation or at himself for causing it, or at her for basically lying to him for so long. Whatever it was, he was now on a roll and he couldn’t stop himself.
"Correct what?" she muttered, hardly acknowledging him at all.
"I called you Cat,” Alec repeated. “Aren't you gonna correct me?"
She paused as she caught the reflection of his eyes in the mirror and then glanced back at herself.
"I knew what you meant, darling.” She brushed him off. “No sense in nitpicking you over little things."
Alec took one step closer to her as he continued to glare at her reflection.
"Or maybe…you're just used to me calling you that."
Cat was still barely acknowledging him, and she picked up a comb to flip the ends of her golden curls.
"What do you mean?"
He moved himself right behind her and placed his hands on the back of her chair as he leaned into her reflection, piercing her with his eyes relentlessly.
"I know who you are.” His voice was quiet, but intense.
She lifted an eyebrow and briefly caught his gaze. "Excuse me?"
"Catarina Francesca Bellafiore,” he declared. “Cat.”
Their eyes held for a moment—probably closer to a couple of minutes, and both of them remained perfectly still, lingering quietly as they were both completely exposed for who they were for the first time in six months.
Six months and six years, to be more exact.
"Took you long enough to figure it out,” she finally muttered, tearing her eyes away from his and back to her own face.
Alec pushed away from the chair and took a few steps back as his shoulders rose and fell under the weight of her words—she made zero attempt to deny her true identity.
"Nope," he dismissed, remaining surprisingly calm in the midst of everything. "No, I've known for a long time."
"Have you now?" she patronized.
"Yep. Ever since I found out about this film. It takes a lot more than a first class makeover and some colored contacts to fool me, sweetheart," Alec said, using an atypically cocky tone. "Especially when it comes to you."
Cat set her comb down and finally stood up from the vanity as she slipped in a pair of earrings.
"Well, nice work, darling," she said coolly. "Would you like a pat on the back, or would a handshake suffice?"
She started to head for the door when he stepped right in her path to stop her.
He glared at her and was at a brief loss for words, so he just stated the obvious. "You've been pretending you had no idea who I was this entire time."
"I don't know who you are," Cat insisted, trying to step around him, but he got right in her face.
"Bullshit," Alec growled.
"Nope," she fired back and then narrowed her eyes as she brought her face inches from his and lowered her voice. "The Alec I know…my Alec…he's been gone for a long, long time."
There was only a brief staring contest before Cat turned sharply to leave, and Alec grabbed her wrist.
"That is not true," he snarled.
She jerked her arm out of his hand and narrowed her eyes further. "Do you need me to slap you a second time? Because I thought I told you never to touch me like that again."
Alec couldn't tell exactly what he looked like in that moment, but he knew he'd taken on a broken appearance that mirrored the crushed sensation in his chest, because Cat's face softened just slightly.
Finally, she let out a sigh.
"Enough is enough. There's no point in wasting our words. This—" She gestured back and forth between them "—is irreparably broken. And I know you're not daft enough to be oblivious to that," she stated and then flipped her fingers against the bottom of his chin a couple of times. "Now put on your public face, darling. We've got a job to do."
She turned for the door again, and he couldn't stop himself.
"It doesn't have to stay broken, Cat," Alec pleaded. "We can fix this…please."
"No." She darted a glare over her shoulder. "We can't. And you know why."
* * * *
Alec managed to make it through a whole afternoon of interviews alongside Cat while her sharp words echoed in his mind.
You know why, you know why, you know why…
His mind kept going back to that day. The one six years ago when he didn't remember her leaving, and he was now more convinced than ever that the unthinkable thing he'd done to Cat in his drunken stupor probably involved his fist to her face, or his palm to her cheek, or something so horrific he couldn't even bring himself to think it.
Regardless of whether he remembered or not, Alec just needed to make amends to her, and then he'd finally be okay with letting her go forever, since she'd made it clear that was what she wanted. All he wanted—all he'd ever wanted—was for Cat to be happy, and he would do his part to make it happen…even if it meant him losing her for real.
The simple desire to apologize was not so simply executed, because he knew he had to do it in a way that wouldn't injure her. And he was somewhat clueless as to when and how he'd have the opportunity since they were one interview away from permanently going their separate ways.
Alec still privately muddled through his thoughts when a familiar voice spoke their names.
"Alec, Catarina," Tony Donahue greeted them pleasantly. "A pleasure to see you both again."
Alec's eyes shifted subtly to glance at Cat, wondering if she remembered the reporter from the interview she'd interrupted all those years ago.
She simply smiled and nodded, seemingly unfazed, and Alec relaxed for a moment, thinking all was well, and Tony was simply referencing some other interview he might have done with Cat in the more recent past.
As Tony continued to speak, however, Alec realized that was not the case.
"It's been a while since I've seen you two together," Tony went on. "Tell me, how was it working on this project after so much time apart?"
Alec opened his mouth to stammer out some kind of reply that would tell Tony to back off from questions that addressed their personal lives. He knew it would probably set Cat off similarly to the day the hair and makeup people called her out. But before he could say anything, Cat spoke up for herself.
"Well, what can I say?" she responded pleasantly and then reached over to place her hand on Alec's arm. "Alec is a phenomenal talent, and I feel quite privileged to make my film debut alongside one of our generation's finest actors."
Alec was immediately so flattered by her words he nearly turned inside out, and he glanced at her briefly to see her flashing a genuine smile at him. He smiled back and patted her hand affectionately, then turned back to Tony.
"Well, I wouldn't say all that," Alec replied. "But I will say Catarina is a force to be reckoned with that the world has yet to see. People will truly be blown away by the raw emotion and poignancy she brought to this role."
Cat chuckled politely and gave Alec a little pat on the knee.
It was confusing to say the least, but it only took him a second to figure it out.
Cat had been heavily coached for situations like this, and she had a responsibility to project a public image that would complement her work. In this instance, it meant playing up the chemistry between the two of them, hence adding interest to the film.
It was a performance. One he himself had done countless times, and it was their final one together.
As Tony grilled them, Cat never once flinched at the references to her former relationship with Alec or her brief time at NYU, and he was hit with yet another realization.
Cat didn't care if the world knew they'd been together, or who she was in her life before her singing career. After all these years, the stark change in her appearance and accent and mannerisms, the purpose had never been to hide who she was from the public.
It was to hide from him. And Alec knew it had everything to do with what he'd done to her that he couldn't, for the life of him, remember.