Tiffany and Scarlett are too busy concentrating to notice me but Maryam, getting more confident in her dancing, uses the mirror to check out the rest of the class. It’s my hair that gives me away. I see Maryam do a double take when she sees it bouncing.
Maryam catches my eye in the mirror and the shock of it makes me stumble a move. I use a left, instead of a right foot, to step into a mambo. Doing a quickstep change, I fall back into the rhythm again, but Richa, so instep with me, notices everything. Using the mirror reflection, she clocks Maryam, who smiles shyly at Richa. Richa returns the smile, but bigger, more friendly.
This is the start of it. This is when Richa will get her real friends.
Maryam elbows Scarlett and nods over towards me and Richa. Tiffany is way too out of control to think about anything other than working out her right from her left. Two of the three girls from my class know that I’m here. I try to not let it affect my dancing, but it does – they do.
After a while, Call-Me-Felicity says, ‘Nice work, dancers. Take a break.’
We gather round the pegs. Richa and I sit at the benches on one side of the room, the three girls from my class on the other.
It’s obvious from the way Tiffany, Scarlett and Maryam all lean in together and glance our way, that they’re talking about us, that is, when they’re not taking selfies with their phones.
‘You know them, don’t you?’ Richa says tipping her head at the whispering girls. Then she’s immediately distracted by my water bottle. ‘Oh my days…You like Gaggle Gangs?’ she says, stabbing at the bottle with an outstretched finger. ‘I love them!’
This is another miracle. Everyone at school, above Year Three, thinks Gaggle Gangs are pathetic.
‘DogGirl is awesome. I want to be DogGirl. That thing she does when she communicates through their minds.’ Richa mimics DogGirl’s intense stare. It’s a good impression. ‘That’s so cool. Did you see the one when she met the wolf? That’s my total favourite episode. I’ve got the entire series on DVD. You should come over, or we can watch them on your PlayStation because I know you can play DVDs on Play—’
‘Hey Leo.’
It’s the sudden darkening of the sky. The terrible trio are here, looming over us like prophets of doom. I stare at their bare feet.
‘Hello,’ says Richa, casually. She’s totally unfazed about being interrupted mid-Gaggle Gangs flow and I’m amazed all over again at her natural confidence. ‘You friends of Leo’s?’ Richa asks them, then adds, ‘Do you go to Lakeside too? I’m Richa. We’ve just moved to Luton. We’ve lived all over the place because of Dad’s job. He’s a drug rep.’ She pauses for a tiny breath then adds, ‘That makes him sound like a criminal.’
Richa laughs and I look up to see the three girls utterly spellbound. There’s nothing quite like a new kid to create interest. Richa will be gone in a flash. There’s no way she’ll stay hanging out with me now.
‘Is he a criminal?’ Maryam asks, wide-eyed.
Richa laughs again and shakes her head.
‘I’m Tiffany, that’s Maryam and that’s Scarlett.’
‘Hello,’ says Richa.
‘You sound different. Are you from the north?’ asks Scarlett.
‘All over really, but yeah, born in Sheffield,’ says Richa.
‘We know Leo from school,’ explains Tiffany, but she doesn’t even glance my way. ‘Didn’t know he could dance though. It’s not fair. You can both do it. You can all do it. Everyone can do it except me.’ Tiffany tries to shrug to show that she’s not bothered, but I can tell from the gritty sound of her voice and the way she bunches up her fists that she really is bothered.
There’s a rush of all kinds of conflicting thoughts. I was ready to hate them all for being here and spoiling everything. I should be glad that Tiffany doesn’t like dancing, because she’ll probably leave. But it’s not that simple. To me, dancing is brilliant and I don’t like knowing that Tiffany doesn’t get it. I want Tiffany to leave, but not because of dancing.
It’s so confusing.
‘You need to be at the front,’ Richa explains, giving kind and solid advice. ‘You can’t see the teacher’s feet properly hiding at the back. The closer you are to her the easier it is.’
‘But then everyone will see me and I’m rubbish. I’m so rubbish.’ Now Tiffany’s voice catches, showing that she’s getting upset and I’m even more confused. I’m better at something than someone else. I’ve only ever thought about how I’m the boy who can’t talk and now here I am being able to do something that someone else can’t do.
‘You’re not that bad,’ Scarlett says and I sideways glance to watch her put her arm around her friend’s shoulders. ‘We’ve only just started. We can’t do it either can we, Maryam?’
There’s a beat before Maryam answers. ‘I’m all over the place,’ Maryam says, but I can tell that she knows she’s a better dancer than Tiffany. Everyone is a better dancer than Tiffany. Do I feel sorry for her?
Richa rummages in her bag and, as she pulls out a packet of polos, I see my letter. The envelope has been opened. Richa has read my letter and brought it with her to Just Jive. What does that mean? The sight of it throws me further off balance.
Richa stands up and offers the mints to Tiffany.
‘Thanks,’ Tiffany says taking one and handing the packet back.
‘Nobody is watching anybody else. We’re all too busy concentrating,’ Richa says, her voice soft and kind, but I’ve stopped worrying about Tiffany. The only thought in my head is that my letter is inside Richa’s dance bag. ‘You need to learn the names for each of the moves. It makes it a lot easier.’
‘Yeah. What is all that mambo, cha cha stuff?’ Scarlett asks.
I’m only half-listening.
‘Why don’t you all go and ask the teacher to explain the basics?’ Richa suggests.
‘Can’t you teach us?’ Tiffany asks Richa, crunching the mint between her teeth.
Now I’m listening.
‘Yeah, you can dance really well,’ says Maryam. ‘It would be much better if you show us what to do.’
‘You could come and dance near us,’ suggests Scarlett. ‘That way we can follow you.’
My heart lurches. This is it.
Richa glances at me and I look away, my eyes fixed on the corner of the letter poking out of her bag. I feel her follow my gaze. She knows what I’m looking at. There’s a pause while Richa thinks. The decision is made. Richa will go and dance with the terrible trio. They’ll be her friends now. She’ll teach Tiffany to dance and they will dance together at the end of Just Jive in the show. I’ll be watching, wishing that I could be part of it but knowing that I can’t and it will be ten thousand times worse than last summer.
How could I be so close and still mess it up? Why are my only friends my dog and characters in books? Why can’t I just talk, like everybody else?
‘I suppose we could dance nearer the back, couldn’t we Leo?’ Richa says slowly.
There’s a pause filled only with the heat and the thundering of my heart. Richa still wants me to be her friend. She wants all of us to be friends. I don’t know why she does, or how she has landed here, but I am totally grateful for her.
‘Not sure there’s room for two,’ says Tiffany. It’s like another nasty blow from her. This time, a sharp, stinging slap across my face.
‘It’s a bit crowded at the back,’ agrees Scarlett.
Smack!
‘I think all the new people are hiding there,’ says Maryam, joining in.
All three of them are ganging up against me.
‘Be best if it’s just you, Richa,’ says Tiffany.
Slap!
‘Even though Leo can dance, he won’t be able to tell us the names of the moves, will he?’ Scarlett says.
I sense them huddle tighter together. They’re closing in on Richa, like a pod of killer whales diving down on a school of fish. This is the moment of truth; Richa has to choose. The truth is there for her to see: we can’t all be friends together. I’m the loner. I’m the boy who can’t talk.
How can you be friends with someone who can’t talk? You can’t. It’s impossible.
The moment stretches – long and uncomfortable.
‘You’d better ask the teacher for help then,’ says Richa, her tone sharp and final.
She spins and sits down next to me so forcefully that a little whoosh of air lifts my lion’s mane. It’s a small movement; Richa has only sat beside me, not stepped onto the moon. But, to me, it feels just as monumental.