Chapter 23

‘I

t’s good to see you again, Nicole. What would you like to drink?’

Adrian sat opposite her in the garden of the old inn in Kings Mills, a large parasol protecting them from the sun.

‘A spritzer, please.’

The waitress took their order and after she left Nicole said, ‘It looks like you’ve made your peace with Hélène. I’m glad. Now it’s up to us.’

Adrian took a deep breath. He knew he still had to win her over, encourage her to forgive him. Even Hélène was unsure, still playing it cool with him. But she’d agreed to go for a walk this afternoon. So there was hope.

‘We’re treading on egg shells a little and I wouldn’t say I’ve yet “made my peace” but at least we’re talking.’

‘Did she tell you that Grandmother’s agreed to go into respite care for a week?’

He nodded. ‘Yes, Hélène’s thrilled. She told me when I phoned this morning. I think she plans to go to France for a few days.’

‘Yes. It’s a pity you can’t go together.’ Nicole looked him in the eye.

He shifted in his chair. ‘It’s too soon to think of that. We…we don’t have that kind of relationship. Yet.’

‘Well, you could go as friends, having separate rooms. Just a thought.’ Nicole sipped her wine, her face inscrutable.

‘That would be up to Hélène!’ He thought it a great idea but…Wanting to change the subject, he went on, ‘Now, your mother’s told me something about you, but I’d really like you to fill in the details.’

They ordered their food and Nicole talked about her childhood, university, work and meeting Tom. He frowned as she arrived at the current state of her marriage and felt his own guilt surface as she described her pain on finding out Tom was cheating on her. He also, paradoxically, found his hackles rise in her defence. It made for an odd sensation.

He encouraged her to talk about her work as a radio and TV reporter and she seemed to unbend, recounting amusing anecdotes.

As they were drinking their coffees, Adrian pushed his hand through his hair.

‘I’m going to tell my children about you and Hélène. Won’t be easy as Karen, in particular, was close to her mother.’ He sighed. Karen’s temper was as volatile as Carol’s had been and their relationship was fraught at the best of times.

‘Hélène said that Karen’s married and has a child. So you’re a grandfather.’

Adrian smiled. ‘Yes, Luke’s a great little chap, just turned two. Always laughing. Takes after his father, Dave, a high flying advocate with a dry sense of humour. My son, Michael, doesn’t seem ready to settle down yet. Enjoys the social life too much to give it up.’ He smiled fondly. ‘I think he’ll be a bit more accepting of you both. I’d like us all to meet up if my kids are agreeable. Unless you have a problem with that?’

‘No, of course not. After all they’re my only siblings.’

He walked Nicole to her car and gave her a hug and a peck on the cheek. She seemed to have mellowed a little towards him as she didn’t push him away. But her eyes told him that he hadn’t quite won her over. Not yet.

That evening Adrian handed out drinks to Karen and Michael before pouring himself a double Scotch. He needed it. They’d been surprised to be invited round for a drink, just the two of them, he’d said on the phone; he had something important to discuss. Dave was babysitting Luke.

As they looked at him expectantly, doubt set in. Then he remembered Hélène’s face and his confidence returned.

‘This is going to come as a shock and there’s no easy way to say this, but I had an affair over thirty years ago and…and we had a daughter.’

‘What! You cheated on my mother! How could you!’ Karen’s face reddened with anger. She jumped up from the chair, nearly spilling her wine, and paced around the coffee table before coming to rest inches from him. He stood up and glanced towards Michael, who although pale, remained quiet.

‘If you’d let me explain – ’

‘Explain? What is there to explain? You were having it off with some trollop while –’

Adrian butted in ‘While your mother was making my life hell! We weren’t getting on and hadn’t slept together since Michael was born. Although she professed to love me she certainly didn’t behave as if she did. And…and I’d stopped loving her. I’m sorry, but it’s true. And Hélène was no trollop!’ He saw the angry tears falling down her face as she looked at him in disgust.

‘Michael?’

His son stood up and walked towards him.

‘I’d guessed that you were unhappy, Dad. In fact, it was pretty obvious.’ He glanced towards his sister. ‘You never went anywhere together and you spent most of your time in your study. Did…did Mum know about your affair?’

Adrian shook his head. ‘Not to begin with. Not until I asked her for a divorce…’ Karen gasped and spat out ‘How could you?’

‘I was in love with Hélène and wanted to be with her, but your mother wouldn’t agree to either a divorce or separation. So I…I ended my relationship. Hélène had just told me she was pregnant and I…I knew I couldn’t be with her.’ He looked at his children, Michael still pale but calm and Karen, red-faced and tearful.

Michael spoke. ‘So, what happened to the baby, our…our sister?’

‘She was adopted. I didn’t even know it had been a girl until recently.’ He took a deep breath. Crunch time. ‘She turned up in Guernsey a few weeks ago, after searching for her mother. And then…then we met.’

‘You’ve met her? Your bastard?’ Karen spat.

Adrian felt himself flush at the word. ‘Yes, her name’s Nicole and she was adopted by a Jersey couple. I found her to be a lovely young woman. I think you’d like her –’

‘Huh! If you think I’m going to meet your –’

‘Daughter, she’s my daughter as much as you are, Karen.’ He said gently, hoping to diffuse the situation. ‘I want you to realise that I’m not blaming your mother for what happened between us. She was a good mother to you both and I wouldn’t have wished her to get sick. But our marriage had been over for years and I hope that you’ll give me credit for nursing her while she was ill.’ Adrian felt drained. Karen was reacting as he’d known she would and he didn’t know what more to say.

‘Are you saying that you didn’t stay in touch with this Hélène while Mum was alive?’ asked Michael.

‘No, after I ended it, she refused to have any contact with me. It’s only since Nicole turned up that we’ve talked and met up. She’s never married and we’re…trying to be friends.’ There, he’d said it now.

Michael reached out and gave his father a hug. ‘I’d wondered why you looked happier these days, Dad. Go for it, that’s what I say.’ He grinned.

Adrian felt a weight lift. He turned towards Karen, who’d resumed her pacing.

‘Karen? Don’t you want me to be happy now?’

Karen glared at her father.

‘Of course I want you to be happy. It’s just I don’t know how I could bear to see you with the woman who came between you and Mum.’

‘But she didn’t, Karen. Our marriage was over before I met Hélène. And because I couldn’t be with her properly, she felt she had no choice but to give up her baby. You, as a mother yourself, must know how painful that must have been.’

Karen’s eyes widened. ‘Yes, I suppose so,’ she said, biting her lip.

Adrian moved forward and reached out towards her. After a moment’s hesitation she moved into his arms, resting her head on his shoulders. ‘Sorry, Dad, it was such a shock…’

‘I know. But I don’t want us to fall out over it. I need to do what feels right for me now. And I want to make it up to Hélène and Nicole.’ He stepped back and looked from Karen to Michael. ‘I’d really like for everyone to meet sometime. You don’t have to be friends if you don’t want to. But it would mean a lot to me if you’d at least see them. Particularly Nicole as she has no other siblings.’

There was silence. Michael spoke first. ‘It’s okay with me, Dad. Whenever.’ He smiled at Adrian.

‘Karen?’

She looked up, her face still blotchy. Crying didn’t suit her sallow skin. ‘Okay. I’ll meet them but I can’t promise to like them.’ Her tone still defiant.

Adrian smiled and reached out for a group hug.

‘That’s all I ask. I promise.’