CHAPTER TWELVE

 

Sweet pain swept through me, a hurt so good that I never wanted it to end. For a moment, it was as if Bo and I were one person. I could feel his pleasure—the thrill of the bite, the ecstasy of the blood—as if they were my own, and I gave myself over to it, sinking into him.

I wasn’t aware of how I got onto the floor, onto my back, but when I opened my eyes, I saw the ceiling and Bo was on top of me. His body rested atop mine, his hips between my open thighs. His lips were at my neck and my hands were fisted in his hair. I held on tight, willing him not to stop, my body begging him for more.

Bo began to move, shifting and rubbing against me, pressing into me where our hips met. Husky noises of passion purred in his throat and tingled along my skin. Little pulses of electricity streaked through my body, setting my core on fire.

I was growing warmer by the second, melty, and my head was getting fuzzy. I opened my eyes and my vision swam in a hazy blur. I shut them to drown out the sights. I wanted only to concentrate on Bo and his mouth and all that he was making me feel.

Unbidden, the hair that I clutched at the back of his head slid through my fingers. My arms were falling, falling, falling until I heard the thump of them hitting the carpet at my side. They landed on a bed of cotton that cushioned them. It cradled my entire body, holding me in a sea of softness. I tried to lift my arms, to recapture Bo inside them, but they refused to obey my commands. The cotton, with its wispy fibers, held them firmly in place.

One delicate strand at a time, the cotton wove its way inside my head and around my body, stealing the air from the room, smothering it in flimsy filaments. It was growing harder and harder to breathe, but I was so comfortable, it was even harder to care.

More content than I could ever remember being, I stopped resisting. With a sigh, I relaxed back into the puffy cloud and let it take me, swallow me, consume me.

********

I awoke some time later with the sweet comfort of Bo’s scent surrounding me. I opened my eyes and turned my head. I was lying in my bed and Bo was next to me. He was turned up on his side, his head in his hand, staring down at me. He was so close I could feel his body pressed along every inch of my left side.

We lay on top of the covers, but I had no need of them. Bo’s body was feverish, more than enough to keep me warm in the cool of the night.

“Lucius said to tell you that he enjoyed meeting you. He was very impressed with you.” Bo leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially. “Between us, I think he has a little bit of a crush.”

“You’re ok.” All I could think about was the relief I felt that Bo was here with me, alive and well, talking to me in my bed.

“Thanks to you,” he said, rubbing his finger across my brow. “You saved my life.”

I shrugged. “It was my turn.”

“You risked too much.”

“Nothing’s too much for you.”

“Lucius told me everything.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does.”

“No, it doesn’t. I’d do it again.”

“I wouldn’t let you.”

“You might not have a choice.”

Bo rolled onto his back. His weary sigh cut through the silence. “That’s why I’m leaving.”

“What?” I bolted upright in the bed and turned toward Bo.

“I’m no good for you. I should’ve stayed away.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because I care too much for you to stay, to continually put you in danger.”

“Everyone’s in danger, they just don’t know it.”

He nodded and rolled his eyes. “You’re in more danger than most.”

“You’ll- ,” I began, choking on the words as I tried to spit them out. “You’ll be gone soon anyway. At least stay with me until then.”

“Every day that I—”

“Please, Bo. Do this one thing for me. Stay until the end.”

“Ridley—”

“I know it will hurt you to be away from me. But what about me? You don’t know what it will do to me if you go. You don’t know how the human half of a bond feels. But I do.”

Bo stared into my eyes. I could see the war waging inside him. He was torn, not wanting to hurt me either way, but knowing it was going to happen regardless. I could also see his resolve weakening, so I pressed on.

“Don’t deny me this, Bo. At least give me the rest of your life. It’s not like I’m asking that much.”

It was bizarre, using his imminent death as a valid point in an argument, but I’d use whatever I had to in order to get him to stay.

“I just don’t—”

“And if you go, you’ll never find out who killed your father.”

Bo shot me a look that said Dirty trick, but I was not the least bit apologetic. If it would get him to stay, I’d remind him of his mission every day.

“Ridley,” he started, sighing again.

When he didn’t continue, I knew I’d won. At least for the time being.

“Plus,” I said, snuggling back down beside him, resting my head on his chest. “You need to graduate.”

Bo laughed and the rough rumble made my heart swell.

“Because school is so important at this stage in my life.”

“I’m sure your mom would like to see you graduate. It’s a maternal thing.” Even as I mentioned it, I realized that I knew very little about their relationship.

“Actually, you’re right. She’s really the only reason that I enrolled in school to start with.”

“See?”

“I think it’s her way of retaining some semblance of normalcy. It got me out of Southmoore, too, which is what she wanted. She thought distance would make a difference, that I’d get interested in a new life and forget about finding Dad’s killer.”

“Sounds like she barely knows you,” I quipped.

“She doesn’t, not really. She was never home much before. She was a lot…different back then. She and Dad weren’t exactly happy. I think she’s got a lot of regrets.”

“And if you left now, it would just hurt her even more. All the way around, it’s just best for you to stay.”

Hmm was Bo’s only response.

********

By lunch on Friday, I was fully recovered and Bo was still in my life, so I was calling it a good day. Savannah was prattling on about our double date and even that didn’t dampen my mood.

“We should totally go see that new scary movie. What’s it called?” Before anyone could answer, Savannah got sidetracked, gasping excitedly. “Oh and then, we can go do something completely reckless like break into the marina and hijack a boat.”

“What?” If I thought she wasn’t serious, I’d have laughed. But, sadly, I knew she was dead serious. I was discovering that Savannah was fearless, too.

“You’re frickin’ nuts,” Devon claimed. His tone said he was serious, but his eyes said he’d follow her to the ends of the earth.

“It doesn’t have to be a yacht. It can be a little boat. A dingy or a blow-up raft. I don’t care what it is, just as long as it will get us out into the water.”

“Why?” This was Bo’s question. He wasn’t opposed to the idea, so long as there was a good reason behind it.

I rolled my eyes in exasperation. What kind of rebellious hoodlums had I inadvertently befriended?

“Because today’s the fourth anniversary of my mother’s drowning and I want to set a lantern out for her. She loved the water more than anything.”

None of us had a comment for that and I knew that tonight we’d be breaking and entering. I felt a little bud of excitement unfurl in my stomach. Doing something completely crazy was out of character for me, but my character was changing pretty rapidly. I wanted to do as much living, reckless and otherwise, as I could squeeze in before Bo left me.

As always, thoughts of his condition sent a stab of pain through my heart. I slid a glance in Bo’s direction as he talked with Savannah and Devon. He laughed and shifted his eyes to me. He winked and my stomach fluttered in response.

It seemed incongruous, a cruel twist of fate, that I could love someone more and more each day, and yet already be mourning his passing. As my love grew, so did the dark cancer of his illness. It was eating away at me, gnawing at my soul.

I’d begun to hate seeing lunch period come to an end. I’d found more genuine friendship and camaraderie at Savannah’s table than I’d ever known, and Bo was always there. He was relaxed and happy and I basked in his unmasked affections. It was like a sun-drenched capsule of near-perfection that I never wanted to leave.

But I was coming to realize that all good things must end. And usually they ended badly.

Bo had just left, going in the opposite direction, toward his class, and I was closing my locker when Trinity approached.

She looked better, but only in a less-sick way. She looked more like a vampire than ever. Her skin was chalky white and her eyes held a viciousness that even I had never seen there before.

“I heard about the other night in the woods,” she said without prelude.

“Trinity, I’m sorry. I know you had a thing for Lars, but—”

She laughed bitterly. “You two have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”

“Trinity, I—”

“Of course you don’t,” she said, leaning in close to my face. “You know what the funny thing is?”

I sighed. “What, Trinity?” Something in her eyes creeped me out and I had to look away. I stared over her shoulder, trying to assume my most bored and unconcerned expression.

“All this was to find Bo’s father’s killer. At this rate, you’ll never find her.”

Her?

My eyes snapped back to Trinity’s. “You know who was behind the attack?”

Trinity’s smile was smug and self-satisfied. She’d gotten the reaction she wanted, so, with one more laugh in my face, she turned and walked away.

“Trinity!” I called after her, but she didn’t even pause. “Trinity!”

For the rest of the day, I wrestled with when and how to tell Bo what she’d said. I decided to wait until after our double date. If I told him before, it would ruin the whole night. Besides, I was pretty sure he’d come to my room afterward and I could talk to him about it then.

********

Of all the terrible nights for my mother to stay home and get loaded, she chose that night, the night Bo came to get me. To add insult to injury, she even beat me to the door when he rang the bell.

I heard her shrill voice all the way back in my room, so I strapped on my wedge shoes, pulled the hem of my tunic down over my leggings and bolted for the door.

When I reached the foyer, Mom was already draped all over Bo. She was looking up into his face with doe eyes, smiling flirtatiously. I was mortified.

I hurried to Bo’s side and took his other arm, the one she wasn’t trying to tear off, and I tugged. “We’d better go. Savannah’s going to kill us.”

When I pulled, Bo shifted toward me and Mom stumbled drunkenly, grabbing Bo for support. She giggled, covering her lips with her fingertips.

“I’m so sorry. My balance is terrible today.”

Mom put the coy in coy.

“What time does Dad’s flight get in, Mom?”

Like magic, Mom sobered considerably at the mention of Dad. She always did. Straightening, she smoothed her hair.

“Not until morning.”

“Oh, I thought it was tonight.” That was not entirely true, but just mentioning him got the desired result.

“No, and you’d better be home at a decent hour, young lady. You know he’ll want to spend some time with you tomorrow, so you can’t be sleeping the day away.”

“I’ll have her home early, Mrs. Heller.”

Mom turned her eyes to Bo and I could almost see her melt. For a moment, I sympathized with her. I knew exactly how that felt.

“Call me Becky,” she oozed. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Bo.”

“It’s my pleasure, ma’am.”

“Becky,” she repeated.

Bo smiled graciously. “Becky.”

Feeling disgusted and mortified, I tugged at Bo again. “Let’s go.”

As it turned out, Devon was driving. He’d picked up Savannah first then Bo, and then the trio had come for me. Bo opened the passenger door to Devon’s Mazda and helped me in.

Savannah turned around in her seat and greeted me excitedly.

“Those shoes rock,” she declared.

“Thanks. I got them for my birthday.”

“Wish I got cool stuff like that for my birthday.”

I didn’t mention that I’d bought them for myself with the money that my parents had given me a month and a half later because it took them that long to remember that I even had a birthday.

Savannah’s red hair was pulled up into a loose bun atop her head. Tendrils had already escaped the knot and were floating around her face like dancing flames. She wore a chic black gauzy top and a velvet choker around her throat, the tails trailing down over her collarbones and anchored with tiny metal crosses tied to the ends. Though her style wasn’t necessarily “hip,” Savannah was fashionable in her own way and she wore it flawlessly.

“You look great,” I told her, and that was entirely true. I felt bland and monochromatic in comparison.

“So do you,” Bo said, having climbed in beside me.

His eyes roved me from head to toe and shone with appreciation. The look he gave me when his eyes met mine again made me feel like a beautiful princess.

“Thank you.” My smile was so wide, it was almost painful.

“Yeah, Ridley. I’m not the one who looks like a Vanessa Hudgens–Hayden Panettiere love child.”

“What?” I turned my gaze to her where she leaned around the front seat. “I do not.”

Savannah looked to Devon. “Tell her, Dev. She does, doesn’t she?”

Devon craned his neck and looked back at me. “Yeah, you sorta do.”

I looked to Bo. He was simply smiling. “A blend of two gorgeous people? Why complain?”

I rolled my eyes as Devon started the engine and pulled away from the curb.

The movie was awesome. Scarier than any movie had a right to be, but it was incredible. Savannah sat upright, wide-eyed and fascinated by the show. I spent the entire one hundred and two minutes scrunched down in my chair, trying to hide behind my hands.

By the time we got out, I was struggling not to be shaken. Truth be known, though, I was already dreading bedtime. I’d probably have some nasty nightmares.

Bo held the theater door open for me and as I passed by him, he whispered, “Looks like you might need some all-night company tonight.”

He was grinning mischievously when I looked up at him. Warmth spread through me, radiating from my suddenly-steamy skin. I’d use any available excuse to get Bo to stay with me.

“I think you might be right.”

My adrenaline was already sky high from the movie, so I was practically vibrating by the time we got to the car and headed for the marina.

Bo and I talked quietly in the back seat while Devon and Savannah occupied their own world in the front seat. For a second, my eyes were drawn to the gap between the seats where I could see that Devon held Savannah’s hand on the console. He fiddled with her fingers in a casual, intimate way that made it seem like he’d been holding her hand his entire life.

As if by gravity, my attention was pulled back to Bo. His head was leaned back against the headrest and his eyes were closed as he told me about a dog he used to have. Listening to him, it was easy to see that he was an animal lover and I wondered at how hard it must’ve been for him, having to take the lives of so many to sustain himself for those first few weeks.

Bo was absently drawing circles on the inside of my wrist with his fingertips. His soothing touch coupled with the quiet timbre of his voice lulled my overwrought senses and I felt safer and more loved than I could ever remember feeling. I felt like I was as highly attuned to Bo as I was to my own body.

He stopped speaking and lifted his head, as if he could sense it as well. Reluctantly, I shifted my gaze from his mouth to his eyes. Without a word, he simply watched me. And I watched him back.

His shimmering eyes drew me in and held me. And in that moment, I knew—without a shadow of a doubt, I knew—that he loved me as much as I loved him, and that it wasn’t a childish, fleeting crush. It was a real, true, deep love—the sacrificing kind that was excruciating; the transcendent kind that time and distance couldn’t diminish; the eternal kind that even death couldn’t weaken. It was ours and it was forever.

With a heartrending certainty, I knew that I would never love another person more than I loved Bo. Before long, he’d be taken from me and I’d live the rest of my life mourning the loss of the only person to ever walk the earth who could make me whole.

It was in that precious instant of perfect clarity that he found us.