Chapter 13

NOW is the Time!

If not now, when; if not me, who?

We only have the present. The past is past, and the future isn’t here yet. We live in the here and now. Change is only possible in the here and now.

All the skills we’ve learned only have value in their implementation—step by step. We know this is true with learning “hard skills”—like driving a car, playing the guitar or typing on a keyboard. These are physical activities that take intentional, focused, physical practice to become proficient at. But the same is also true for “soft skills”, which can be defined as “personal attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people” (from google.com). Communication skills are soft skills in that they develop attributes to interact well with others.

Knowledge is simply information in our heads, but what we do with that knowledge in our actions will determine whether or not we actually grew and benefited from that knowledge.

By now you may have realized that this is really a self-improvement book—that your relationships will grow and improve to the extent that you do. Many times in my classes people will say that when they were walking into the room as a couple, they hoped their partner would learn something from the class only to discover that it was they themselves who needed to learn and improve.

I hope you gained some meaningful information from the previous pages. I have found that these skills work in my own life and have benefited the lives and relationships of so many others, and I hope you incorporate them into your life as well. Review the skill steps and put them into practice a little bit each day—at home, at work, everywhere.

The point is to make changes, even if they’re small, because regardless of the magnitude of the change you will be better off than when you started. The following pages offer a way to get started—and make progress one day at a time.