Here’s How It Works

Below are 12 pages, one for each day, with one or two skill steps per day.

Simply read aloud to yourself the specific page in the morning and often during that particular day and consciously focus on practicing that skill step or steps with the people you communicate with throughout that day, and do the same for each day—that’s it!

It’s best if you can memorize and recite from memory the bolded sentence on that page throughout that day —that will help instill those specific skill points into your mind and actions.

Helpful Tips:

1. Keep the skill step(s) of each day handy and visible to you throughout that day.
2. Have a small sticky note on your computer screen that says “Skill Practice ”.
3. You can set the alarm on your cell phone for certain times during the day to remind you to review the skill step(s) for that day.

These kinds of reminders are important in building new habits, especially in the course of a busy day .

At the end of the day, sit down and do an honest self-evaluation of how well, or not, you used those skills effectively during the day and what you might have done better. Review the individual people and interactions in your mind. Pat yourself on the back if you did a good job; give yourself encouraging words if you didn’t. Even a small improvement is a step forward.

Then repeat this format for the next day’s instructions , and on and on for the full 12 days. Consistency will be important—don’t’ skip a day. Do all 12 days!

Be patient with yourself. You will probably start Day 1 full of enthusiasm and within a short time realize you have forgotten to practice the skill. Don’t be discouraged. That’s normal in trying to learn a new skill or make a new habit.

Keep at it! When you realize you haven’t been practicing a particular skill, simply pause, review the skill step for that day, and start practicing it one interaction at a time. You’ll have to do this often over the course of each day of the challenge. Again, you’re shaping your thinking and awareness of incorporating these skills into your daily life. This is very likely brand new for you. But stay with it. You’ll get better at it day by day.

IMPORTANT: Have a fresh and open mind during this 12-day challenge, especially with the familiar people in your life. Otherwise, it will be easy for you to slide into your normal communication style with those people—with your spouse or partner, your child(ren), co- workers—people you see and interact with all the time. Be different this time! Be pro-active and think, These are important people in my life. I care about them and my relationship with them. I won’t be the same old person communicating in the same old way. Instead, I will practice these skills with a fresh and open mind with each of them. Make that commitment to yourself then do it! And if any of them ask you why you’re behaving differently, tell them, “I’m learning and practicing new communication skills. I’m trying to improve how I interact with you and others. I want to be better at it.” Trust me, they will probably be impressed that you’re making the effort to do so.

Think:

“One day at a time, I will make these skills mine.”

Have a Great 12 Days!