Chapter 1: STOP CLINGING to Unrealistic Expectations
1. “Marriage in America: The Frayed Knot,” Economist, May 24, 2007; http://www.economist.com/node/9218127.
2. Kathryn Jean Lopez, “Levi’s Story: Retreating from Marriage in America,” National Review Online, December 10, 2010; www.nationalreview.com/articles/254877/levi-s-story-interview.
Chapter 2: STOP OBSESSING on the Past
1. Milan and Kay Yerkovich, How We Love (Colorado Springs: Waterbrook Press, 2008).
Chapter 3: STOP DROWNING in Suspicion and Jealousy
1. John Townsend, “Building Trust,” Focus on the Family, April 2008, http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/forgiveness_and_restoration/building_trust.aspx.
2. “Infidelity Statistics,” InfidelityFacts, http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html.
3. Ibid.
4. Ibid.
5. There are many Internet sources for this story. An interesting sidelight to this event was that a few years later, when Kaiser Wilhelm’s actions led to World War I, someone quipped that Annie Oakley could have prevented the war by putting the bullet through the Kaiser’s head instead of his cigarette. Responding to this quip, Annie reportedly wrote a letter to Kaiser Wilhelm requesting a second shot. She did not receive an answer.
6. John Townsend, “Building Trust.”
7. Ibid.
Chapter 5: STOP SEETHING in Anger and Resentment
1. Richard P. Fitzgibbons, “The Angry Spouse,” MaritalHealing.com, http://www.maritalhealing.com/conflicts/angryspouse.php.
2. These rules of engagement are adapted from the book, A Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage by Scott Stanley, Daniel Trathen, Savanna McCain, and Milt Bryan (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1998).
Chapter 6: STOP TOLERATING Compulsions and Addictions
1. Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoker with Mike Yorkey, Every Man’s Battle (Colorado Springs: WaterBrook, 2009).
2. Cindy Wright, “The Christian Woman: Her Dirty Little Porn Secret,” Marriage Missions Inter national, http://www.marriagemissions.com/the-christian-woman-her-dirty-little-porn-secret/.
3. C. S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain (New York: Macmillan, 1962), 28–29.
Chapter 7: STOP FOCUSING Only on Your Interests
1. Elizabeth Dickson, “How to Turn Conflict into Intimacy,” RelationshipRealizations.com, http://relationshiprealizations.com/psychotherapy-articles/how-to-turn-conflict-into-intimacy.htm.
2. Sarah Jane Glynn, “The New Breadwinners: 2010 Update: Rates of Women Supporting Their Families Economically Increased Since 2007,” Center for American Progress, April 16, 2012, http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/labor/report/2012/04/16/11377/the-new-breadwinners-2010-update/.
Chapter 8: START EMBRACING Friendship and Fun
1. Alyson Weasley, “The Role of Friendship in Marriage,” Focus on the Family, http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/sex_and_intimacy/the_role_of_friendship_in_marriage.aspx.
2. Bill and Pam Farrel, Red-Hot Monogamy (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 2006).
3. James R. White with Peter Kent, The Best Sex of Your Life (Fort Lee, NJ: Barricade Books, 1997) 91.
4. Bill and Pam Farrel, “Recreational Intimacy,” Focus on the Family, http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/daily_living/making-time-for-romance-and-intimacy/recreational-intimacy.aspx.
Chapter 9: START RESPONDING Romantically to Your Mate
1. Christopher West, At the Heart of the Gospel (New York: Image Books, 2012), 190.
2. Peter Paul Rubens, Adam and Eve, Peter Paul Rubens: The Complete Works, http://www.peterpaulrubens.org/Adam-and-Eve.html.
3. Lucas Cranach the Elder, Eve, Olga’s Gallery, http://www.abcgallery.com/C/cranach/cranach66.html.
Chapter 11: START AFFIRMING Your Mate’s Strengths
1. Adapted from Jim Bradford, “Marriage: Accepting, not Judging,” Assemblies of God USA, February 1, 2012. http://agtv.ag.org/marriage_accepting_not_judging.
Chapter 12: START SPENDING Money Responsibly
1. Gary Smalley, Making Love Last Forever (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1997).
2. Dave Ramsey, “Money Talk: The ‘You’ in ‘Unity’ Is Silent,” Focus on the Family, http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/money_and_finances/pursuing_financial_unity/money_talk_the_you_in_unity_is_silent.aspx.
3. Crown Financial Ministries, “Financial Authority,” Focus on the Family website, adapted from Larry Burkett, “Financial Authority in the Home,” in Biblical Principles Under Scrutiny (Chicago: Moody, 1990), 177–179, http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/money_and_finances/money_management_in_marriage/financial_authority.aspx.
4. Ben Woolsey and Matt Schulz, “Credit card statistics, industry facts, debt statistics,” Credit Cards.com; http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/credit-card-industry-facts-personal-debt-statistics-1276.php.
5. Carolyn MacInnes, “Big Dreams on a Small Budget,” Focus on the Family, http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/money_and_finances/money_management_in_marriage/big_dreams_on_a_small_budget.aspx.
Chapter 13: START PRACTICING Your Lifetime Vows
1. Emil Protalinski, “Facebook Blamed for 1 in 5 Divorces in the US,” ZDNet, March 1, 2011, http://www.zdnet.com/blog/facebook/facebook-blamed-for-1-in-5-divorces-in-the-us/359.
2. Willard F. Harley, “The Four Rules for a Successful Marriage,” Marriage Builders, accessed June 11, 2012, http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3901_rules.html.
3. Adapted from Harley, “The Four Rules for a Successful Marriage.”
4. “Major New Study: Does Divorce Make People Unhappy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages,” undated press release, AmericanValues.org, http://www.americanvalues.org/html/r-unhappy_ii.html.
5. DivorceStatistics.org, accessed December 28, 2011.
6. Ed Cray, General of the Army: George C. Marshall, Soldier and Statesman (New York: W. W. Norton, 1990), 89.
Chapter 14: START SHOWING Respect No Matter What
1. C. S. Lewis, “The Weight of Glory” in The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses (New York: Macmillan, 1949), 19.
Chapter 15: The Three-Stranded Cord of Marriage
1. Harold G. Stigers, A Commentary on Genesis (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1976), 66.