I sit at one of the big tables in the Queen Vic Tea Rooms with Nathan, Will, Amber and Stannis and we talk about the Fu Hao’s likely maintenance issues and how much fuel and food we’ll need to load. Dressed in her best clothes, Gail fusses happily at the next table, setting napkins and glasses for the dinner party she thinks we’re having. Through an open door, HB organises Rachel and Johnno in the kitchen as they baste chickens and roast vegetables from Colonial Town’s coop and garden. On a mattress in a corner, Hal plays Snots ’N’ Bots while Milly reads a tablet quietly and recuperates from the emergency appendectomy Nathan performed by torchlight in Wauchope’s pharmacy. Close by, Lottie flicks the pages of a Dr Seuss book for Liam who hugs his surgically restored blue bear. All of them like this make me happy. Even though I’m sad I won’t be with them much longer.
I’ve shown the adults the video of Jack’s forces arriving in Baroonah and all the aircraft that streaked along the horizon. Explained how the Radius now works so that our enemies can cover a huge amount of territory. They know what we’re up against and that even if we could escape on land we’ll always be looking over our shoulders—and at the mercy of marauders like the Board or the chaos of bushfires.
We keep the conversation lighter during dinner and put the kids to bed. Then we debate my suggestion that we should camp near King Creek while we prepare the Fu Hao for her journey. While no one wants to eat rations and sleep in tents in the bush, especially not when we’ve just had fresh food and are about to head to warm beds in cosy cottages, they come around to seeing it’s the safest course of action. Us all being there together means we can set sail for Lord Howe Island the moment the boat’s ready. If the Fu Hao is seaworthy.
‘So, everyone will be ready an hour before dawn tomorrow,’ Nathan says, holding up his wine glass. ‘As soon as it’s light enough to drive, we roll out of here.’
‘Cheers,’ says Johnno, raising his stein of beer. ‘I always wanted to go overseas.’
‘You’ll love it,’ Gail says. ‘I’ve heard this is the best time to go.’
We erupt into laughter and clink our glasses. I’m drinking mineral water. I need to stay clear.
‘What?’ Gail says as Johnno hugs her to him and she beams and blushes. I’m not sure who she thinks she’s with or what she’s about to do but I’m glad she’s happy for the moment.
‘What will the Lord Howe people think?’ Rachel says quietly. ‘Like the people HB talked to on the cattle station—they might not want visitors.’
It’s a good point. We don’t know what to expect. If they’re not all dead, they might not want more people using their resources.
‘We could radio ahead?’ HB says.
I shake my head. ‘If the Jacks heard, they’d know where we’re going.’
‘I thought the whole Radius thing meant they couldn’t follow?’ Amber says.
‘All of them on a boat or in a flotilla, they could come after us. We’ll only be safe if they don’t have a clue where we’ve gone.’
Johnno grins in the lantern light. ‘So we just land on Lord Howe Island and hope for the best, eh?’
All eyes are on me. I guess that’s fair. It is my plan.
‘Chances are everyone will be dead,’ I say. ‘But if they’re not we’ve got a lot to offer. HB can grow food and has enough seeds for a Garden of Eden. Stannis has worked the land. Nathan’s medically trained. Will’s an engineer, Amber’s a scientist, Rachel’s a teacher. Johnno, you’re a jack-of-all-trades, if you’ll pardon the pun.’
‘I’m a violinist,’ Gail blurts, mimicking playing the instrument. ‘Sydney Symphony Orchestra.’
There are smiles all around the table.
‘And your skills will come in handy,’ HB says to me with a cheeky grin, ‘if we get there and find a Lord of the Flies kinda deal.’
I laugh, shake my head, glad none of them know the truth.
‘Truth is we can’t be sure what we’ll find or if we’ll even make it,’ I say, looking at them all before my eyes rest on Nathan. ‘But the alternative is taking on a fight we can’t win.’
None of them want that. Will takes Amber’s hand and HB holds mine and Nathan’s.
‘If anyone starts singing Kumbaya,’ Johnno growls, ‘I’ll get on the walkie-talkie so Jack can come kill the lot of you.’
Back in my cottage, I unroll my sleeping bag.
When I arrived last night, I introduced HB and Lottie, explained what’d happened and what I’d learned. While I was pleased they’d started seriously discussing Lord Howe Island, I was overcome with exhaustion. I left them talking, crashed on my cot in my clothes and slept straight through until just before dinner.
I still feel bone tired. Like I have to pay back all those hours I stole with the dexies. But I can’t have another marathon slumber. It’s ten now and I need to be up at five. At least tonight I can sleep in the cocoon to which I’ve been accustomed.
Scree-scree-scree.
I shiver at the memory of Rat. Or at the memory of my hallucination of Rat. Whichever it is—was. I laugh as I picture her serving beers to other critters as the new rodent publican of the Star Hotel. Why not? She was my delusion after all.
Scree-scree-scree.
Now she’s back. At least in my head. Like an earworm. Except I’ve been clean of the drugs for a few days. So I shouldn’t be tripping like this. Unless it’s some sort of withdrawal symptoms. But if I’m going to hallucinate I’d at the very least like to see my familiar. I can’t conjure her except for—
Scree-scree-scree. This time it’s louder and followed by a series of little pips. Not in my mind. Behind me. I jump up, spin around and see movement at the base of the sleeping bag. I grab my flashlight and peer into its dark folds. Rat’s laying against a seam, legs splayed and six pink babies attached to her white belly. She blinks into the glare and I click the light off. I burst out laughing and then cry my heart out.
I awake on the floor an hour before my alarm. I check on Rat and family. They’re all sleeping. In a few hours, Colonial Town will be theirs. I tear open a dozen ration packs and make a pile of dehydrated meat and vegetables and rice under the cot. I pour water into a bedpan and set it alongside the larder. I hope I’m giving Rat a few easy weeks or months and that she will forage happily after that. But setting out the supplies—it makes me remember doing the same for the kangaroos and snow leopards and—
I slap my forehead. Realise what I saw that night and might need one day. While Colonial Town sleeps, I pull on my night-vision goggles and gather my weapons, crawl under the section of escape fence and take Nathan’s quad off into the night.