Catoctin Mountain, Maryland
Present
The attic was a bust as far as computers went. He found two thirteen-inch cathode-ray-tube monitors from the ’90s that weighed a ton, too many outdated cords, floppy disk drives in multiple sizes, a Zip drive, and even an old Apple IIc. Nothing that could run a pre-2010 PC hard disk. The laptop he had with him was a MacBook.
Tomorrow, he could drive to town and see if the thrift store had something that would work, but the odds were against success. Lee could crack it in a heartbeat. Or Raptor could ship a computer to him. He and Lex and Gemma could stay here forever.
But that would be its own kind of torture.
Next to the tech graveyard, he spotted red and green plastic boxes. His heart squeezed as he remembered packing up those boxes and moving them up here the day after the wedding that wasn’t.
He and Alexandra had come up here for Christmas, planning a quiet holiday, just the two of them, before their New Year’s Eve wedding in DC. JT had surprised her with a fully decorated Christmas tree in the living room. He’d hired a decorator and paid a woman to knit stockings with their names. He’d bought Christmas dishes, the whole works.
But they didn’t get their cozy, pre-wedding holiday because Joe showed up with his mistress.
Lex had been horrified to learn JT knew about Joe’s affairs and had kept the secret from Lisa. In retrospect, JT could understand her reaction better now. At the time, he hadn’t understood why Joe’s infidelities had any bearing on his and Lex’s relationship.
Joe didn’t help the situation when Alexandra overheard him lecturing JT about keeping her in line so she didn’t ruin both his and JT’s political prospects.
He knew now that he’d already been withdrawing from her. He’d grown more distant the closer they got to the wedding. He’d known she had trouble accepting that he didn’t want kids. And he hadn’t told her about the open congressional seat in New York.
All this came together like a hurricane gathers wind, and next thing he knew, she’d called off the wedding and moved back in with Kendall.
Two days later, he’d purchased the Lotus because it only had two seats. No children allowed.
He’d then driven it north to this cabin, where he proceeded to get drunk by himself on New Year’s Eve and spent a very hungover New Year’s Day packing up all the Christmas decorations in these boxes, determined never to look at them again.
He’d packed up part of his heart that day. Four years later, when Lex was back in his life, back in his bed, trying to help him heal from yet another blow, he’d been too incomplete to be able to open himself back up to her. He’d sabotaged their relationship before she could hurt him again.
Now she was back in his life again. In this very cabin. She needed his help. Needed his money. And she wanted to use him for a cold, convenient screw.
He was thrilled with the first point. He would do anything, spend anything to help her. But the last… It somehow hurt as much as being dumped days before the wedding.
He flicked open the plastic clasps on the nearest storage box and caught his breath when he saw what was inside.
Shit. He was too raw for this.
He reached into the box and pulled out the Santa hat and beard, revealing the wool elf costume beneath. Green tunic. Red leggings. Even the shoes were here.
He closed his eyes and remembered the first time he saw her in costume and what it had meant at the time.
His Lex. He’d known in that moment she was his. Would always be his. This was the relationship that would define his life.
He’d loved her as best he could. But his best hadn’t been nearly good enough.
For the first time since he packed this box away, tears slid down his cheeks. He held his palm to his lips, but there was no stifling his gut-wrenching sob.