Ed was sitting in an aggressively over-lit, tired-looking motorway service station that smelled faintly of vomit. However, nothing could puncture his good mood. He was, to use a peculiar English expression that hadn’t entered his consciousness for about a decade, cock-a-hoop.
It was hard to believe that Emily had asked him to give her away. It felt like a huge public statement that he was part of her life (and he’d be the first to concede he didn’t really deserve to be).
It was also a good sign that his plan was going to work. Despite being an optimist at heart, Ed had doubted this many times. Now, though, it actually seemed possible that his mother would see he’d repaired his relationship with Emily and witness the genuine warmth between them. And surely if that was true, she’d give him the money?
Emily had insisted the coffees should be her treat and was now standing in the line (or queue, as Ed supposed he should think of it when in England). There weren’t that many people waiting, but everything was moving incredibly slowly due to what seemed to be some sort of staff training. Each task was being minutely explained to the trainee: ‘You put the toast in the toaster, then you get two packets of butter from the fridge. You get out a medium plate and a knife. Not a large plate…’
Did anyone really need that level of instruction? Ed thought of himself as a bit of a useless bugger, but even he knew toast went in the toaster and butter lived in the fridge.
A family got up from the table near the window and Ed decided to swoop in and take their spot. This may be a sectioned-off seating area of a grubby motorway café and not Chateau Marmont but there were still good and bad tables.
As he sat, Ed flashed a beaming smile at the couple in matching beige anoraks at the next table. He was slightly disconcerted that, despite him immediately pinning them in his mind as middle-aged, they were probably around his age. But then he supposed he was middle-aged. Even if that wasn’t how he liked to think of himself.
Emily had been the one to suggest a stop for coffee and Ed was pretty sure it was because she could no longer stand his driving, but he didn’t care. He was always up for a caffeine fix, and he was in too good a mood to fuss about getting a little behind schedule. It was also a cruel truth that his mother wasn’t going anywhere.
A young lad in uniform approached and, without a word, started spritzing the table with some heavily scented cleaning spray. Normally Ed might be a little irritated the lad hadn’t said a word and gave off such a sullen vibe, but today he smiled beatifically. He was full of bonhomie and love for his fellow man.
Ed’s phone buzzed. Joanie requests FaceTime. Odd. Shona’s sister hardly ever called him. He felt his stomach lurch – maybe Shona had had some kind of accident. ‘Hello.’
‘How could you?’
‘Sorry?’
This one word seemed to make Joanie incandescent with rage. ‘Don’t you dare act the innocent with me, Ed. Shona’s told me everything. About how you faked a migraine to get out of going to yoga with her when really you were with God knows who—’
‘Joanie—’
‘Don’t you Joanie me. I know how men like you operate. Shona never should have got involved with you in the first place. You told her you cheated in the past, right? Well, she should never have ignored that red flag…’
Joanie’s voice was now so loud, beige anorak couple were openly staring. The man had a forkful of chocolate cake hovering mid-air. Ed didn’t care so much about what they thought, but he was worried about Emily overhearing all this. Luckily though, as he’d moved tables, she was just about far away enough not to be able to hear (thank you, thank you, family who were sitting by the window).
‘Joanie,’ Ed said, cutting across the stream of abuse coming in his direction. ‘Let me speak. I’m not cheating on your sister. I never have and I never will.’
‘Oh really?’ Joanie said, wagging her carmine-tipped finger at Ed. ‘Then where were you on Monday afternoon when you claimed to have a migraine and Lillian saw you strolling down Boulevard?’
‘I went to get some migraine tablets.’
‘Bullshit,’ Joanie spat.
Ed briefly met the eye of the woman in the beige anorak and saw immediately that she was with Joanie in all this. Well, screw her and screw Joanie because he was innocent and the only person he had to convince of that was Shona. Ed was now starting to see that this might not be quite as easy as he’d hoped, but he refused to let anything shake his confidence. As soon as he got back to the States and saw Shona face to face, he’d be able to make her see he wasn’t cheating. And, as long as his mother shelled out, Shona would never find out that her home had been on the brink of being repossessed. Ed had another ace up his sleeve too, because he’d decided he was going to propose. It’s a cliché that you don’t appreciate something until you’re about to lose it, but it also happens to be true.
‘If you had a migraine, there’s no way you would have gone out in the sun,’ Joanie said. ‘Plus, I called Lillian, and she said you weren’t even wearing sunglasses.’
Ed tipped his head back and closed his eyes. He’d realised as he was leaving the apartment block that his sunglasses weren’t in his pocket, but by that time he was already running late for his appointment and the loan shark was not someone you kept waiting. What he wouldn’t give now to be able to rewind time and run back up the stairs.
‘ONCE A CHEAT, ALWAYS A CHEAT,’ Joanie shouted, before ending the call.
Ed let out a huge sigh. And then he opened his eyes to see Emily standing in front of him carrying two cappuccinos and wearing an expression that could only be described as appalled.