Ed and I were quickly duct-taped to chairs, though Ed was sort of out of it, lolling next to me. Shabiri had made sure my mouth was covered. Charise had placed a big piece of duct tape over my lips with smirking satisfaction. The whole thing was ridiculous.
“Shabiri,” said Doug. “What is the Draugr?”
“Nothing to worry about.”
He grabbed the demon amulet with the green stone eyes and held it up to her face. “Maybe I want to worry about it. What the hell are they?”
She sighed and leaned against the wood-paneled wall. “They are undead warriors who guard their gold hoard for all eternity. Anyone who stands in their way gets crushed to death.”
“So, this gold you helped us get.” He flicked a glance at Ed. The sheriff was coming back to his senses and seemed mad as hell about the duct tape on his mouth. “Where did it come from?”
“I told you not to worry about it.”
“And I told you to answer me. Are the undead out there killing people?”
“What do you care, Doug? I thought you wanted to be feared. I thought you wanted to be respected. Everyone respects a man who holds their life in his hands. You’re going to have to put your big boy pants on to earn the respect you claim to want. You’re going to have to do some bad, bad things.”
He scowled. “I know that! I don’t care. Who are these people to me? It’s just…what if Charise had been caught by these guys. It would have been nice to have a heads-up.”
“Oh, excuse me,” she said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Let’s certainly not get Charise of all people consumed by undead Vikings.”
“Hey, bitch.” Charise pointed her talon of a finger in Shabiri’s face. “Shut your damned mouth.”
Shabiri blinked slowly before darting her hand out around Charise’s neck and lifting her up. Charise scrabbled at Shabiri’s hand with everything she had, but Shabiri easily raised her higher, one-handed, as Charise choked and kicked her feet uselessly.
“Put her down, Shabiri,” said Doug in a stern tone.
“Doug, tell your side-thing that she needs to treat me with a tad more respect.”
“Put her down.”
Shabiri turned toward him, her eyes beginning to glow a bright green. When she smiled, her mouth was far wider than it should have been with more teeth that were sharp like a shark’s. “You can only order me around so much, dear Doug, before I snap!” She shook Charise, whose face was turning blue.
“Please, Shabiri…” he said.
The demon seemed to relent and slowly lowered her before letting her go. Charise fell to the ground, grabbing at her neck and gasping.
Doug was too busy facing off with Shabiri to notice Bob on his knees, with his arm around Charise, wiping away her tears.
“That’s not how this works,” said Doug, eyes narrow, fists trembling at his sides.
“Are you sure?” Shabiri wasn’t winded. Of course not. She was a demon. “Are you sure you know anything, Doug?”
He marched to the kitchen, grabbed the salt shaker, and heaved it at her. She vanished with a curl of black smoke. The shaker hit the front door and shattered.
Doug ran a hand over his mouth and beard, before pivoting to stare at Ed.
“Well,” he said after a time, “it looks like we have a difference of opinion. How do I know that these Draugr are out there doing what you say they are?”
Ed and I gave him withering looks. Kind of hard to answer, Doug, when our mouths are taped up.
He must have realized it, too, because he stepped forward and tore off Ed’s tape.
“You hit me, you son of a bitch. I’m charging you with assault on an officer.”
“Blah, blah, blah.” Doug mimed a talking puppet with his fingers. “Later, I’m sure. What are Draugr?”
“Kylie knows more.”
“I’m not taking off the gag. She might call her demon.”
Ed looked at me then. And I could see the swirl of emotions in his eyes. Her demon. He took a deep breath. “I saw them. I fought them. They’re…really undead. Walking corpses. Zombies. They have swords and axes, and they aren’t easy to stop. And they’re still out there. They go for anything with gold. Anything. They bit off the fingers of the Warrens to get at their wedding rings.”
Charise gasped and reached for the cache of gold necklaces at her throat.
“Yeah,” said Ed. “Anything. But if they get their hoard back, maybe they’ll stop and…go back to wherever they came from.”
“They could be from Kylie’s book.”
“They aren’t. And what is she saying about Baphomet? Did you really summon him?”
Doug looked defensive. “Look, maybe we got a little ahead of ourselves with him. We thought he was doing things for us. Turns out it was really Shabiri. I guess…she kind of goaded us into summoning him. We didn’t know…” He rubbed at his beard.
“Did you hear the sirens last night? That was your pal Baphomet. He wiped out the Harrisons, the Norrises, and the Greeleys. Their whole families, all in one go. That’s your fault, Doug. You summoned him. God knows how many others he’ll kill.”
“What? You’re lying.”
“He killed them all! Blew them up. Their houses are nothing but cinders. Chris Norris was the only survivor, and over sixty percent of his body is burned. He’s gonna wish he didn’t make it.”
Doug wore an expression of shock and terror. “We just want the book,” he said distantly.
I hoped he saw me roll my eyes with all the disdain I could muster.
“I’m pretty sure Kylie must have told you that the book is attached to her…with all the problems that come with it.”
“I can’t believe she told you.”
“She kind of had to when the assassin demon showed up right in front of me.”
“What assassin demon?”
“Seriously? You might as well confess to that, too. Because when I get out of this, I am going to kick your ass so hard, you’d be lucky if there’s anything left of you to throw in jail.”
Something hardened in Doug’s eyes, all the empathy seeming to wash away. “Then maybe we shouldn’t let you go.”
“You haven’t got the balls.”
“Oh, yeah? You know, you’ve been a thorn in my side all my life. I wouldn’t mind if you just disappeared.”
“And what would you tell Mom and Pop? You are a piece of work, Doug. Oh, it’s all very biblical, but I repeat: you don’t have the balls.”
I screamed behind my tape and rocked my chair violently back and forth. Ed, you are such an idiot! Don’t bait him!
They both stared at me like I was crazy!
“So these zombies,” said Doug, back to business. “What about them? Are they out there right now?”
Ed shook his head. “They come out at night. They rise when the sun sets and disappear when the sun rises.”
“Fine. So, if we put the two of you outside, maybe with a little gold chain on you, they’ll come?”
Ed gritted his teeth. “Don’t even try it.”
Doug clapped his hands together. “Sounds like a plan to me!”
I threw my head back on my shoulders. Great. Just great. I fall into the middle of sibling rivalry and get eaten by zombies because these two can’t shut the hell up. I scowled as hard as I could at Ed who suddenly refused to look at me.
We sat taped to our chairs while the Fantastic Four played video games and drank beer all afternoon. The scintillating conversation was just about killing me with boredom. And I was achy and sore and hungry. I wondered if Jeff would worry about me being gone so long. Or Erasmus. But I was with Ed so I was safe, right?
Ed turned to me and said quietly, “I’m sorry about this. I didn’t think Doug would…I’m sorry.”
So much I wanted to ask. Especially about Charise. What did Ed ever see in her? Maybe it was just what happened in small towns where there weren’t enough girls to go around.
“Looks like the sun’s going down.” Doug rose and stretched. Something I longed to do. “And there’s a mist rising. Let’s see what happens when we put the bait out for the zombies. Take ‘em, boys.”
Dean and Bob managed to grab Ed, chair and all, and drag him outside, knocking him down each stair as they went. Doug and Charise lifted me, Charise’s nails biting into my arm, the be-yotch.
They placed us right outside the mobile home in full view of Doug’s big living room window.
“Oh, and we’ll need this.” Doug snatched the necklaces off of Charise’s neck. She yowled her unhappiness. “Shut up, Charise. I’ll buy you better ones.” He dropped them over my head and crouched in front of me. “You know, that spear you stole from me, Gáe Bulg, the Spear of Mortal Pain? It won’t seem to come to me anymore. That wasn’t cool, girl. Not cool at all. If you get out of this alive, we’ll have to discuss this further.”
They left us there in the cold as the sky darkened and mist slithered over the gravel drive.
I kept pushing on the duct tape with my tongue, trying to dislodge it, while Ed concentrated on struggling with his bonds. I tried to communicate with my eyes and through muffled sounds. If only he would call out for Erasmus, maybe he’d come. But I supposed that was the last thing he’d ever do.
I glanced toward the picture window; the gang was all there, snug inside while we began to freeze. We both had coats on, but they did little to protect against the wind. Night was falling, and the shadows in the woods around us seemed to be growing denser with the dark. But it was that persistent mist creeping toward us that was making me most nervous.
When the sun abruptly dropped behind the hills, all was cast in gray. Did the Ordo really mean to kill us? Had Ed unwittingly goaded them to the next level?
I tried to move my arms in earnest, but they were taped tight to the chair. I glanced at the window. Charise was smiling. Dean’s face was bright in anticipation. I guess he wanted to see zombies in the flesh or only half-believed in them. Bob looked vaguely interested in the proceedings. But Doug’s expression was the most inscrutable. Maybe he hated Ed as much as Ed seemed to hate him. How could it have gotten so bad between brothers?
A movement at the edge of the woods caught my attention and I stilled, straining my eyes to discern what it was in the falling light. Maybe a deer. A squirrel. It didn’t move again, which made me think it might have been my imagination until something else in a different part of the woods drew my eye. There was definitely something moving over there.
I screamed at Ed through my tape.
He turned and saw it too, then struggled hard and glared up at the window. “This isn’t funny anymore, Doug. Something is coming!”
Doug moved closer to the window and looked where we were looking. Charise pressed her nose to the glass, leaving greasy smears.
I heard branches and twigs snapping. Something was coming out of the shadowy mist. Oh, God. They were coming out of the trees.
“Goddammit, Doug!” cried Ed. “I’m not kidding!”
But Doug and company just stood at the window, watching it all unfold.
The forest seemed to tremble as they stepped closer. And then the first one breached the dense growth. I saw the boot step on the grass at the edge…and drag a large battle axe over the sharp line of dark and light.
I had to get free of this damned chair. The only way to do that was to break it, which was definitely going to hurt. I set my feet firmly to the ground and shoved back. Since my legs were also taped to the chair legs, it wasn’t easy. I pushed down hard on the balls of my feet until the chair teetered back.
Come on, Chosen Host skills, I urged in my head.
I rocked forward again, and this time, when I shoved back, I planned to give it more momentum. Ed saw what I was doing and mirrored me.
One big shove and I was careening over. The chair smacked hard on the ground, which hurt my lower back but didn’t manage to break me free. Dammit! Now what?
The Draugr with the battle axe was drawing closer. The axe blade dragged along the ground and over the gravel, making a scraping sound. More were coming out of the forest, all heading straight for us.
Even Charise, pressed to the window, had lost her smile. And Doug seemed shocked. I guess he hadn’t quite believed it either. He signaled to the Ordo; they left the window and came out onto the front porch.
I struggled, trying to roll the chair and loosen its joints. Anything to dislodge the tape. I smacked into a big rock in his front garden—a place of weeds and dead shrubs marked off by a row of rocks of all sizes. One of the chair legs cracked. I heaved back and did it again. The leg broke off, freeing my leg. I snatched a glance over my shoulder and spotted the Draugr lumbering toward me, slowly raising his axe.