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WE ALL WATCHED CAMILLE leaving, half running from the room, her head down, her hand covering her mouth.
My stomach churned. I couldn’t meet the eyes of the others.
“If she goes, it’ll be my fault,” I admitted. “I was a controlling jackass toward her, fighting with her about Irus, trying to tell her what to do. No wonder she’d think a life on another planet would be better.”
“We can’t stop her if she wants to go,” Casey said. “I know Camille. She’ll have dreamed about this moment. It’s the exact reason she got into planetary science—so she could learn about life on other planets. Now she’s getting the chance to live it for herself.”
“We could wait for her,” Aleandro offered. “She might study the place and come back.”
I scoffed at his suggestion. “No, she won’t. She’ll have a mob of attractive Athions following her around. She won’t have any reason to come back here.”
“Besides,” Casey said, “she’ll be safe on Athion. The Trads aren’t there.”
I stared at him. “So, you’re saying we should encourage her to go? This is insane!”
“He’s right, Mike,” Aleandro said, frowning. “She’d be safe. We wouldn’t need to worry about the likes of Dean Lambert or any of those other assholes taking her. She could live her life and be happy.”
“Not without us in it,” I growled. “She wouldn’t be happy then. We complete her. You know that as well as I do.”
Aleandro shook his head. “This is wrong. So, she chooses between us or Athion?”
Casey pressed his lips together, his nostrils flaring. “She won a ticket. It’s only fair.”
“No, this isn’t fair. None of this is fair.” The idea of a future stretching ahead without Camille in it tore me in two. It was just an empty chasm of pointlessness. Even my relationship with the others was nothing compared to what I had with her. Of course, I cared about them all, and maybe Aleandro and Casey would be all right together, but how was I supposed to survive?
Irus stepped forward. “I’m sorry, Mike. I want you to know that I played no part in her selection, and I never thought for a second that I would take her away from you. I know how much she loves you all.”
I shook my head, unable to look at him. “Don’t, Irus. You’re a good guy—I get that, but you’d be the winner in all of this. You’d get to go with her, to keep her, while the rest of us are left behind.”
The Athion had the decency not to try to argue with me. He knew what I said was true. While Irus hadn’t plotted any of this, it was exactly what I’d been afraid of. Camille’s bond with Irus was simply another bullet in the gun that might help her decision. She wouldn’t be completely alone should she decide to do this.
I cast a glance over to where her sister waited with Leif’s arms around her. Elodie stood between them. They all looked impossibly sad, and I experienced a stab of guilt for only thinking of my own feelings. They’d be just as miserable to see Camille go—perhaps even more so, if such a thing was even possible.
“Should we go after her?” Casey said.
I shook my head. “No, she’s allowed to make this decision alone.”
The minutes passed by painfully slowly, and we were barely aware of the final names that had been called and the end of the draw, and the president congratulating those who’d won and wishing them well for their future lives. We sat around in a miserable silence, a weight on all our shoulders.
Movement came in the doorway, and I lifted my head to find Camille standing there. Her face was streaked with tears, her eyes bloodshot, but she appeared as beautiful to me as she always had. I felt certain she was going to tell us all goodbye, and my stupid heart could barely take it.
“Camille?”
“I’m sorry I kept you all waiting,” she said, looking around at us all. “I can’t tell you how horrible I’ve been feeling about all of this. I mean, the chances of me being one of those chosen to go were so slim, I never actually imagined it would happen when I entered. But I did enter,” she admitted, though of course we all already knew that, “and I can’t tell you that a life on Athion doesn’t sound like a dream come true.” She sighed. “But the payment for the dream is too great. I couldn’t ever imagine living day to day without each of you in my life. So, I’ve made a call, and I’ve asked to transfer my place.” She turned to her sister. “It’s yours, Molly, if you want to take it. You can go back with Leif, and they’re happy for you to take Elodie, too. You can start up a new life for you all, somewhere safe.”
Molly’s eyes widened at Camille. “You’re giving me your place on Exodus?”
“Yes, I am, if you’ll take it, and if you’ll take Elodie to safety, too.”
“Leif and I would be happy to take her,” she said. “We’ll raise her as our own.” Molly looked to Leif in happiness and disbelief. “Are you able to go back home?”
He nodded. “Yes, of course. I can take a position on Athion. I’ll do anything to be close to you.”
Her face broke into a smile, and she threw herself into Leif’s arms. He scooped her up against him, and the two of them kissed, deep and sensuous. The rest of us glanced around awkwardly, feeling as though we were intruding on a private moment.
I turned to Elodie. “What about you, Elodie? Does going to Athion sound good to you?”
“Would I still get to see you and Mike and Aleandro and Casey and Irus?” She almost ran out of breath by the time she’d reached the end of all our names.
I smiled. “I’m not sure when we’ll be able to visit, but when we do come to Athion, the first thing we’ll do is come and find you. And we can always see each other via video calls as well. I promise we won’t lose touch.”
She gave a small smile. “Then I guess that would be okay.”
Molly turned to Camille. “Are you sure about this?”
Camille’s gaze flicked over to us, and she shared a secret smile with each of us. “Surer than I’ve been of anything in my life.”
My heart lifted with hope. She’d chosen us. She’d given up her dream of a future on another planet to spend her life with us.
I stepped forward, desperate to be closer to her. She gave me a tentative smile, as though she wasn’t quite sure what my reaction was going to be. I moved into her body space and cupped her face in my hands.
“I love you, Camille. I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk at times. I can’t tell you how fucking scared I’ve been of losing you.”
She gazed up at me. “I should never have even considered leaving you all. I’ve played with your emotions—I know that. But I don’t want to go anywhere without you—without any of you. I swear it. And you never know, maybe the option to go to Athion will be open to all of us. It’s not as though you guys don’t have any skills the Athions might need. But that option isn’t even open to us yet, so let’s just take this one day at a time, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.” And then I leaned in and kissed her.