“I’m sorry, Davi. I know I shouldn’t have done it. I’m really sorry but I called Lukas.”
“Why?” I moaned. “Why would you do that?”
“I had to do it. We’re going tomorrow, and I thought I might never see him again. So I called.”
“But he wants to kill me!”
“I don’t know if I should’ve or shouldn’t. But I did it. I knew he’d be getting desperate, so I thought it would be best for everybody if I told him I was all right. Best for him, but for you and me too. I thought if he wasn’t all crazy with worry, he wouldn’t try to find us. Wait, wait, just let me finish. I didn’t tell him where I was or where we’re going. Don’t worry. He’ll never find us. I promise. But I had to say goodbye.
“Then as soon as I hung up, the second the phone was off, I heard footsteps in the hallway, and I thought it was him. I know that’s ridiculous, but it’s the way my mind works sometimes. When I was little, I was positive that Lukas could be two places at once. He told me he could do it and I believed him. He said he could read my thoughts, and he even went into my dreams sometimes. Or at least he claimed he did. He said he could look around in my mind when I was sleeping. And see absolutely everything. So you’ve got to understand this, Davi. I was never alone, even when there was nobody else in the room and my door was locked. I spent my whole life with my brother doing that to me: messing with my mind and watching me even when it wasn’t possible. I don’t think anymore it was real. It couldn’t be. But when I was little, I just accepted it.
“So thinking about going away forever… I lost it. I just went… I didn’t know what I was doing. And then talking to Lukas kicked the old feelings in, and when I heard the footsteps, I freaked-out and went up to the roof. I thought it was him, and I had to get away.”
She’d tangled one finger in her hair, turning it, yanking as she talked. “He tried everything on me. Three minutes on the phone and it was like I was back there with him locked in my room. He said that he needed me and so it was wrong for me to go away. Every minute I was gone was killing him. After all we’d had together, how could I do this to him? And for anybody who helped me, it would end up really bad. Did I want you to get hurt, really bad hurt? He kept saying your name, Davi, saying it slow and quiet like he was trying to decide what to do to you when he caught us. And when I didn’t answer, he said he knew what I was thinking. That’s when I hung up. It was like I was a little kid again, and he was reading my mind. I could almost feel him in there, looking around in my thoughts. It must’ve been you coming down the hall that I heard and I lost it. I had to run. I’m sorry, Davi. I’m really sorry.”