It was just the band at first: Rudy on gamba, Simon on baryton, Mick on drums. They made the royal shining noise, the riff-riot fanfare. A flaming pink spotlight showed us where Django would appear. Twenty thousand eyes were aimed at that incandescent circle. One moment it was empty, and then Django was there before us. If the crowd was wild before, now it was berserk, shoving and grabbing, desperate to get nearer. I added my scream to the massive scream, and it was like I was yelling through ten thousand mouths. Anna Z screamed too, though I couldn’t separate her voice from the nerve-smashing din. We screamed as one, Django held his arms over his head like a priest giving his blessing, and the lyrics to “That Alien Feel” swept over us.
Django had a different look than at the Maxima. It took me a song or two to calm down and notice the change. He was thinner, paler, and his costume showed off more skin. His hair was full of shiny spikes and greasy corkscrews. Even his expressions—what little I could see of his face—made me think that he’d given up something. The band was louder than at the Maxima, the bass-end throb punching my heart and the treble-shriek clawing at my skull. Django’s voice had all the power and laser-bright feeling of before. He moved on the stage like the Last King of the Universe. Still, what hit me was how exposed he was, open to our eyes and ears and grasping hands. This wasn’t weakness but a kind of strength, I think, as if he had nothing to lose and so nothing could hurt him.
The band hit the last chord of “X-Ray Spex” and without dropping a beat went into “I Fear No Venom.” I sang along with Django, knowing the song by heart. And when we got to the chorus, it was as though my voice was booming out through the PA system.
I fear no venom
I fear no sting
I fear no poison
not anything.
Rudy took a solo, heavy with distortion, while Django came up right to the edge of the stage. Kids were reaching for him, frantic. He was reaching down to them, cool and white as December moonlight. Anna Z pushed forward. I lost my hold on her, and it was like panic turned itself into sound: buzzing, throbbing, pounding inside my skull. I fought my way toward Anna Z, and that was when I saw Lukas.