The next morning, Nelson woke up in a much warmer bedroom. After going to Birch Creek to look for Junia, he’d stopped at Phoebe and Jalon’s to tell Malachi she was missing. Turned out she and Malachi were on their way back to Marigold. “He stopped here so we could meet her.” Phoebe smiled. “And tell us that they were going to be chaperoned at all times, and they planned to slow things down.”
That was good news, and Phoebe and Jalon were relieved. They also liked Junia. That wasn’t surprising. She did make a good first impression. It was the following impressions that were the problem.
It was too late to go back to the warehouse, so he spent the night with Phoebe and Jalon. They’d asked about his haircut, and he explained what happened with Ella. Malachi eventually returned and repeated what Phoebe told him—indeed they were going to obey their parents and not be in such a hurry with their relationship.
The next morning, Nelson helped with the chores and stayed for breakfast. Malachi’s younger sister, Hannah, had spent the night with a friend, and right after the meal, Malachi and Jalon left to work on the fence. Nelson cleared the table as Phoebe washed the dishes.
But he was distracted, as he had been since last night when he left the Yoders’. Holding Ella had been impulsive, and he’d told himself he was just comforting her. But that wasn’t how he felt with her in his arms. She fit perfectly there, and he’d felt so calm and comfortable, he closed his eyes while she rested her head against his chest. And was very disappointed when she pulled away. He was so confused. He didn’t want to feel this way again. Attracted. Connected. Especially not with Ella Yoder. I don’t like her, remember?
Why couldn’t he get his heart on the same page?
“You’re quiet.” Phoebe handed him a dry dish towel and a freshly washed frying pan.
He shrugged and started drying. “Got a lot on mei mind. Building the haus, renovating the warehouse, getting mei business started.” His chest tightened. At the rate he was going, he wouldn’t be able to open until April. Or May. His meager savings would dwindle to close to nothing by then.
“Jalon feels bad he can’t help you right now, but he and Adam have been wanting to get this new fence put in for a long time.” She handed him the pot she’d made oatmeal in. “Once they’re done, they’ll be free.”
Nelson nodded. “He told me.” Although Adam was in a wheelchair, he had tremendous upper-body strength and dexterity. He would be a huge help. So would Jalon and Malachi. At this point, anyone would be.
“How are the plans for the shop going?” Phoebe asked.
“What plans?” Nelson muttered, reaching for a wet plate.
Phoebe gaped at him. “You don’t have a plan?”
“I do.” He grimaced, not liking how defensive he sounded. “I just haven’t put it down on paper. Yet.”
“Have you talked about it with anyone?”
He paused. He hadn’t—not even Barnabas. While they were chopping down trees, both men were focused on their work, as they should be. During their breaks, Barnabas would talk about the store and about how Ella had done all the groundwork. “I’d never owned a business before,” he’d said. “She taught me a lot of things she learned from studying those books. But I think most of it is natural business sense. She knows what she’s doing.”
Due to his reluctance to accept Ella’s help, he’d barely listened to what Barnabas said. But he was recalling it now. “Nee,” he finally answered.
“Maybe you should. At least you could get some feedback that you’re on the right track. I’d offer to listen, but I don’t know anything about running a shop.” She gestured to the pile. “You’re slacking, little bruder.”
He smirked at her but picked up the pace, chewing over her words as she finished cleaning up the rest of the kitchen. He had to admit she might be right. Discussing his ideas with a knowledgeable person would be wise, and the most knowledgeable person he knew was . . . Ella.
As he drove home, he realized he’d been foolish all along. He needed guidance, and she was the best person to give it. He would have to set his personal struggles aside and ask her for help—help she’d been offering since they first met.
He was turning into the Yoders’ driveway and heading for their barn to put up his horse when the true realization hit—he was being prideful. He’d never asked a woman for help before, and he’d been burned so badly by Miriam and Norene, he didn’t trust them. Or his own judgment. It was past time he set all that aside for good and became a serious businessman.
Once the horse was settled in his stall, Nelson went to the store, knowing Ella would be there. But when he walked inside, Junia was at the counter checking out a customer. Instead of her usual put-upon expression, she was genuinely smiling and engaging with the English woman as she bagged her groceries.
“Thank you, Mrs. Carter,” she said. “We hope to see you again.”
“You sure will.” A broad smile appeared on the woman’s equally broad face. “Your prices are the best around. So is the customer service.”
Junia beamed as Mrs. Carter left. Then she noticed Nelson. “Hi,” she said, sounding almost tentative now. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I promise I’m turning over a new leaf.”
Nelson nodded. Malachi had insisted she was, and he hoped it was true, for his sake and her family’s. “Is Ella here?”
Surprise flashed across her face. “Nee. She’s at the haus. I told her to rest today and I would man the store with Daed.”
Maybe Junia was serious about making changes. “Okay, I’ll head over there.” He started to walk away.
“Uh, Nelson?” When he looked at her, she said, “Malachi and I want to see each other this Saturday.” A customer walked in and she moved from behind the counter. “Want to join us?”
He blinked. She was actually asking him to chaperone. “What about Ella?”
“Oh, she and my dad will be there. Hi, Mr. Miller,” she said to the customer. “How can I help you today?”
Nelson frowned. Seeing Junia genuinely friendly was weird. Good, but weird. He’d tell her later that he would chaperone them, intent on keeping his word. He wasn’t sure why he needed to come since both Ella and her father would be there. How many chaperones did one couple need?
He crossed the street and knocked on Ella’s front door. After a moment she answered, the same surprise in her eyes he’d seen yesterday when he arrived. Then she smiled. “I’m glad to see you,” she said, tugging on his arm. “Come in. I need to talk to you about something.”
He entered the warm, cozy living room. A fire blazed in the stove, filling the house with the scent of burning wood. As she shut the door, he said, “That’s gut. I need to talk to you too.”
“All right, but me first.” She paused. “Sorry. I’m being—”
“Bossy?”
“Ya.”
He chuckled. “That you are.” But for some reason, he didn’t mind.
Her brow furrowed, then relaxed. “May I please geh first?”
Just like Junia’s eager friendliness was odd, so was Ella’s deference. Odd, but nice. “Sure.”
“I owe you a shirt.” She pulled a measuring tape from her apron pocket and put it around her neck. “I was just about to geh to the warehouse and talk to you about it. I’ll just need your measurements.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Ella.”
“But I knocked over the paint—”
“That I was careless with.” He shook his head. “I’ve got plenty of shirts.”
“Oh.”
He was surprised to see how disappointed she was.
“Well, that’s that, then.” She slipped the measuring tape off and stuffed it into the pocket of her apron. “Your turn. What did you want to talk to me about?”
* * *
Ella placed a stack of books in the middle of the kitchen table next to another tall pile. “That’s the last of them.”
Nelson’s eyes grew round. “I have to read all of these?”
She smiled and sat down next to him. He could have knocked her over with a dandelion when he asked her to help him with his business plan. She was tempted to ask him what made him change his mind, but she didn’t want to distract him or have him change it back, so she tugged on his arm again—she had to stop doing that—and sat him down in a chair. Although, come to think of it, he hadn’t protested. Or resisted. Or called her bossy. In fact, he’d smiled a little and let her lead.
But none of that was important now. What mattered was developing his business plan, because after quizzing him on what it was, she realized he didn’t have one. “Nee. Not all of them. But I wanted you to have some choices, instead of me picking out the books I think you need.”
“Ah. Okay.” He frowned, rubbing his chin.
He was being uncharacteristically uncertain, and she wasn’t sure why. Was he already doubting his decision to ask for her help? “Nelson, I promise I won’t boss you or try to take over. This is your business. I will respect that.”
He turned to her. “I know.”
His low, confident tone sent a shiver down her spine. Oh nee. Not now. She couldn’t be distracted by his tone or looks or the fact that she couldn’t stop thinking about his arms around her, even while she was being businesslike. Get a grip. She gestured to the books. “Where do you want to start?”
“Um . . .” His confidence seemed to fly away. “I’m not sure. I think I even need help with that.”
She tapped her fingers on the spines of the books in front of her, finding the one she needed. “Now, don’t be offended by the title.” She handed him a yellow-and-black book.
“Business for Dummies?” He quirked a brow.
“I’m not saying yer a dummy,” she blurted. “It’s a gut book.”
He stared at the title. Thumbed through the pages. “This is exactly what I need.”
She leaned against the back of the chair. “That’s the first one I read when I decided to pursue buying the store.” She frowned. “I didn’t even confer with Daed about it until three months later. I should have talked to him about it up front. But I was worried he would have said nee. He never decides anything without thinking long and hard about it. When I presented mei case, he didn’t have a choice but to agree. In hindsight that wasn’t the right thing to do.”
“Maybe not, but it turned out well in the end.” He set down the book. “I spent the night at my schwester’s last night. Malachi and Junia had talked to them. Seems like everything is okay.”
She nodded. Junia had fallen asleep in her bed, and Ella fell asleep shortly afterward. Sometime during the night her sister got up, since the single bed wasn’t made for two. In the morning she helped with breakfast, and Ella was stunned when she offered to work today and give her a day off.
“I think she has changed,” Ella said. “At least I hope so.”
Nelson nodded. “She even asked me something strange. She wants me to help you chaperone them on Saturday.”
“I know. She mentioned it this morning.” But she hadn’t said anything about asking Nelson. “You don’t have to,” she said. “Daed will be here too.”
“I made a promise. To Malachi.” He met her gaze. “And you.”
Now the butterflies were back. Oh, this was a problem. She shot up from the seat. “Want some kaffee? Tea?” Me? She tripped over the chair leg at that last thought. What in the world was her mind doing to her?
He reached out and steadied her, pulling away his hand as soon as she regained her balance. “I’m fine. Had a lot of kaffee at Phoebe’s.”
“Okay.” But she needed a drink, mostly as a distraction. She grabbed a glass, filled it with water, gulped it down . . . and promptly burped. Loudly. Her cheeks flamed and she couldn’t move. Of all the embarrassing things to do.
After a few seconds she looked over her shoulder. He was perusing the dummy book. Maybe he hadn’t heard her . . . but he’d have to be deaf not to. There was nothing else she could do but acknowledge it. “Excuse me,” she said, sliding onto the seat. When she finally looked at him, he was smiling. Then he winked and went back to reading the book.
She was tempted to melt into her seat. More shivers and butterflies appeared, along with a soft warmth throughout her body. She picked another book, Business Plans 101, and handed it to him. “When you’re finished with the first one”—she couldn’t bring herself to call it the dummy book out loud—“I recommend starting on this next. You can also geh through all of them while yer here and choose the ones you want.”
He took it from her. “This one’s fine too. I’ll read them this week. Anything else I should do?”
“Once yer finished reading them both, you can follow the business plan guidelines and write yers down.”
He nodded. After a brief pause, he said, “Would you, uh, mind looking it over when I’m done?”
She smiled. “Of course not. And whenever you want to read any of these,” she said, gesturing to the two piles, “just let me know.”
“I will.” He got up. “Danki, Ella. I’m feeling better about this already.”
That made her grin. She still wasn’t pleased that he’d turned down her offer to make him a shirt, but this was even better. “I’m here anytime you need me.”
He was looking at her again, an inexplicable expression crossing his features. Then he scooped up the books. “Got a lot of reading to do,” he mumbled as he started to leave the kitchen.
She wanted to tell him to stay, that they could read the books together, even though that was normally an individual activity. He didn’t need her to read to him, and no doubt he would think she’d lost her mind at the suggestion. And she must have, because more than anything she didn’t want him to leave. But there was no other reason for him to stay.
When he reached the doorway, he turned to her. “See you Saturday.”
And once he was out of her sight, she collapsed onto the table, her head resting on her folded arms. Even though he was only coming for Malachi and Junia’s sakes, she couldn’t stop the thought wafting through her head. I can’t wait.
* * *
“I’m stunned.”
Wendy looked at her mother as she sat down at the two-seater table in front of the picture window at Pancho’s. “About what?”
“This is our second Taco Tuesday in two months.” She grinned and unwrapped the brown cloth napkin holding her silverware and put it on her lap. “That never happens. I’m not only stunned, I’m positively giddy.” She smiled. “Thank you.”
Wendy nodded, returning her smile but also mentally rebuking herself for not treating her mother more often. She’d been so obsessed with doing everything perfect when it came to taking care of her, especially following a strict diet. But seeing how happy Mom was to get out and eat tacos—something so simple—she recognized she should have been doing it all along.
“I really enjoyed meeting Eunice,” Mom said as a busboy set a basket of chips and salsa in front of them. She reached for a chip. “I can see why you two are friends.”
Before lunch, Wendy had taken Mom to Eunice’s shop, and the women chatted as Wendy looked for fabric to make another dress, even though she wasn’t finished with the first one. As she usually did when she went to the fabric shop, she stopped at the display of white kapps. It seemed odd to wear an Amish dress without the kapp, even though she was only wearing it on the Sundays she went to church with Eunice. Wearing a kapp might be considered offensive since she wasn’t Amish, but she was drawn to them nevertheless, and reluctantly moved on from the display.
She stared blankly at the menu in front of her. Mom’s order was a no-brainer, but Wendy wasn’t all that hungry. Even during her shopping, she was thinking about last night’s events. Before she went to bed, she said a prayer of thanksgiving that Junia had returned home and to her senses, along with an extra thank-you that she hadn’t made the situation worse, as she’d feared.
“All right, young lady.” Mom lightly snapped the plastic-coated menu shut. “Something’s bothering you.”
The words and pictures of Mexican dishes came into focus. She quickly decided on a single taco with guacamole salad on the side and closed her menu. “Nothing’s bothering—” She nipped the lie in the bud. Her mother knew her better than anyone, and she was right. Despite last night’s happy ending, something was on her mind. “I’m not bothered, per se. But I’ve been thinking about a few things today.”
“Such as?” Mom refolded her brown napkin in her lap.
Where to begin? Her thoughts about Barnabas and her fascination with the Amish faith were blending together and confusing her. Her mother was looking at her expectantly, so she decided to bring up the safer subject. “Did you and Daed ever think about joining the Amish?”
“Heavens, no. We liked our conveniences too much. We also enjoyed our church. I still do.” She took a sip of water. “I admire the Amish commitment to simplicity and their faith, and how they band together as a community. Your father did as well. But we never had a single thought of joining them. I think you know more about the Amish than I do . . . Oh.”
Wendy could see that her mother understood. “Yeah. Oh.”
The waitress appeared and they put in their order. On a lark, Wendy added sopapillas for dessert.
“Sopapillas?” Mom raised a brow after the waitress left. “There really is something going on with you, isn’t there?” She leaned forward. “Do you want to become Amish?”
“I . . . I don’t know.”
Mom sat back. “Is this because of Barnabas?”
She stilled. She hadn’t talked about Barnabas with her mother, and the only time Mom had seen him other than at the store was when he came over that day and asked for her help. “Why do you ask?”
“You went over there last night.”
She could kick herself for telling her mom where she was going when she left the house. But she didn’t want to keep anything from her either. “I had to take care of some . . . business.”
Mom tapped her chin, not saying anything for a long moment. Wendy picked up a chip and broke it into pieces but didn’t eat a nibble. Finally, Mom said, “All right. I won’t ask about him anymore. Let’s get back to joining the Amish.”
Wendy let out a silent breath of relief. She had to admit to herself that if she were Amish, it would be easier to explore whether there was anything between her and Barnabas. But the possibility of romance was probably the worst reason to join a church, especially one so entwined with daily life as the Amish church was. “I guess I have been thinking about it. A little.”
Mom’s eyes lit up as a platter of four tacos was placed in front of her. They paused to pray, then she continued talking. “Wendy, I want to be clear about one important thing. I don’t want to influence you one way or another, whatever you decide for your future. I don’t expect you to live with me forever or forsake living the life you want because you feel obligated to me. I can get another caregiver.”
“Mom,” she said, touching her hand. “I don’t feel obligated. I’m honored to take care of you.”
“Oh, honey.” Her bottom lip trembled. “I’m touched to hear you say that. And I’ve told you many times how much I love having you with me. I just want you to know that I’ll be okay, whatever you decide.” She smiled. “God’s got my back. He always has.”
She nodded. Wendy could see how the Lord had her back too, and how he had brought her to Marigold, even though she had been so sure she’d spend the rest of her life living in New York as a lawyer. They started eating, and she regained her appetite.
After demolishing her third taco, Mom said, “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.” She scooped up the last bite of guacamole salad.
“What is drawing you to the Amish faith?”
She set down her fork. “I’m still working all that out. But what I can say is that lately I’ve been closer to God than I’ve ever been, and when I’m in an Amish service, that closeness grows. I do like the simpler life too, and the dress feels comfortable. I don’t miss the busyness of worldly living. Eunice’s church, and her sister’s, have been so welcoming. Most of all, I’m at peace.” She usually was, although Barnabas and his daughters had interrupted some of that, but she wouldn’t have had it any other way. “I want to strip away all the things that have hindered my relationship with God. Everything the Amish do is connected to him, from their work to their lifestyle to their worship.” Unexpectedly, tears filled her eyes. “I long for that kind of relationship with him. I need it.”
Mom didn’t move, as if she were processing everything Wendy had said. Wendy was processing it too, because the jumbled thoughts in her head sounded so clear when she spoke them aloud, and they were all true.
“They have a lot of rules,” Mom said, her expression serious.
“The Ordnung. I know. And from what Charity, Eunice, and Priscilla shared with me, I’m fine with them.”
“You’ll be giving up a lot.”
Wendy smiled, everything coming into place. “Compared to what I would be gaining, it means nothing.”
Mom smiled. “Sounds like you’re close to making up your mind, then.”
She was closer, for sure. She needed to do some more research and tell Charity, Eunice, and Priscilla her thoughts. That would be easier now that she had already discussed some of them with her mother.
They finished their tacos, and the sopapillas were so good Wendy wondered why she’d never ordered them before, except for an irrational fear of carbs and sugar. Not that she would go off the deep end and overindulge all the time, but she was relaxing her stance on her own diet too.
As Wendy drove them back to their house, the doggie bag of the one extra taco Mom had ordered was placed firmly on her lap, and a bag of fabric and notions sat in the back seat. She was eager to get back to sewing. They were both quiet in the car until right before they reached their house. They were both almost to the door, Monroe’s excited barks coming from inside, when a buggy pulled into the driveway. They turned around. Barnabas was in the driver’s seat. He’s still wearing my scarf.
“Hmm.” Her mother grinned.
“Mom—”
“I didn’t say a word.” She opened the door as Barnabas got out of the buggy. “I’ll be inside, minding my own business.”
Wendy almost chuckled. She knew her mother would be peeking through the front window curtains as soon as she walked into the living room. She waited to make sure Mom navigated her walker over the small step leading into the house, then shut the door and met him halfway down the driveway. She stopped in front of him, immediately noticing a change from last night. The lines of tension she’d seen on his face recently had disappeared, and his eyes were warm. Her heart skipped in her chest, even faster than it normally did when she was around him. “Hi, Barnabas.”
“Hi, Wendy.”
“What brings you by?” She was sure he was here to thank her for last night. He was the kind of man who would go out of his way to do that. A wonderful man.
“I was wondering . . .” He gestured to his buggy. “Would you like to go for a ride?”