Ella closed her eyes and leaned her cheek against Nelson’s broad chest, soothed by the steady beat of his heart. Later she would chastise herself for revealing so many personal things to him, including telling him she thought he was handsome. That had slipped out, and fortunately he didn’t react to it. Now all she wanted was to savor the comfort and peace she felt in his arms.
She’d been truthful about his haircut—he was handsomer with Amish hair, but he also made the short style look good. As she snuggled against him, she felt his hand rubbing her upper back in a rhythmic, circular motion. This testy man who had been through the wringer today was somehow managing to give her comfort. Amazing.
The fire crackled in the stove. After a few minutes, he said, “Are you okay?”
She was now, although once she pulled away from his wonderful bear hug, she wouldn’t be. She wanted to stay here cocooned in his embrace where all her problems seemed distant. But she couldn’t take advantage of his kindness. She moved out of his arms and back onto her previous spot on the couch. “Ya,” she said, even though she was anything but all right. “I’m okay.”
“If Junia is blaming you for her problems with Malachi, she’s wrong.”
“But—”
“Love can make you do dumb things.” He glanced down at the basket near his feet. “Even ab im kopp ones.”
Ella averted her gaze. “I wouldn’t know about that.”
“I do.”
She wasn’t surprised he’d been in love before, especially since she was seeing a different side of him—encouraging, gracious, sympathetic. And cuddly. She couldn’t—and wouldn’t—forget that. While she’d never seen him with a woman, and he didn’t mention he’d had a girlfriend, that didn’t mean there wasn’t someone in his life.
“Are you . . .” She swallowed, almost afraid to know the answer, even though it shouldn’t matter to her. “Still in love?”
“Absolutely not.”
The firm way he said that made her take notice. “I’ve never been in love before,” she said.
“Consider yourself lucky.” But his reply didn’t have the same conviction.
Then she admitted what she’d never dared to say out loud. “I want to get married and have a family. I’m not holding out much hope, though. Mei aentis don’t believe I’m marriage material—”
“They’re wrong about that.” His tone was emphatic.
She blinked. “They are?”
The door opened and Daed walked inside, distraught. “I can’t find her, and the temperature is dropping fast. I don’t know what to do.” He looked at both Ella and Nelson. If he was surprised at Nelson’s presence, he didn’t show it. “I shouldn’t have yelled at her . . . I shouldn’t have gotten so angry . . .”
Ella went to him. “Should we tell the bishop?”
Daed nodded. “We can’t avoid it any longer.”
Nelson got to his feet. “I’ll let Jesse and Micah know. Then I’ll head on to Birch Creek.”
“You think she might be on her way there?” he asked, his tone hopeful.
“I don’t know. It’s worth a try, though.”
Her father looked at him, so distressed he wasn’t even reacting to Nelson’s short hair. “Danki.”
He nodded, and with one last glance at Ella, he left.
She motioned for her father to sit down. “I’ll fix you some kaffee.”
He shook his head, still wearing his coat. “I’m going back out to look for her,” he said, moving toward the fire. “I just came over to warm up a bit. Was she wearing her coat?” His voice trembled. “Please, Lord, let her be wearing her coat.”
Ella knew she wasn’t, unless she had stashed another jacket somewhere. Maybe in Junia and Malachi’s hiding place. When she stormed out of the house, she was only wearing a sweater. Although the weather had been mild during the day, once the sun went down it turned frigid again. “They’ll find her, Daed. She couldn’t have gone far. I’ll geh talk to the bishop—”
“Nee!” He turned to her. “I’m making the decisions from now on. Understand?”
She nodded, his outburst jarring but excusable. Still, a lump formed in her throat. He almost never spoke that sharply.
A knock sounded at the door and Daed hurried to answer it. Junia wouldn’t have knocked at her own house. Dread filled her. This had to be bad news.
When he opened the door, Wendy appeared, bundled in a thick coat and wearing a skirt and stockings. The woman had been a fixture at the store and Ella hadn’t known what to make of that. Was she spying on them, to see if they’d taken her advice? Or was she simply a forgetful shopper who should really make a list so she wouldn’t have to make so many trips to the store?
“Barnabas.” She hurried inside and turned around. “Have you talked to Junia tonight?”
“Nee. We haven’t seen her since this afternoon.”
“She stopped by my house almost two hours ago,” she said, worrying her bottom lip.
“Was she okay?”
“No. She was upset. I hoped she’d returned home.”
He scrubbed his hand over his face. “Where is she?”
Up until that moment, Ella had refused to give in to worry. She’d overreacted so many times to Junia’s antics—she told herself she wouldn’t borrow any more trouble. But she couldn’t ignore her anxiety anymore. What if something serious had happened to her? What if she—
Ella closed her eyes and silently prayed. Even though she was angry with and resentful of her sister almost all the time now, she didn’t know what she’d do without her. Please, Lord . . . keep her safe.
* * *
When Ella left to make coffee, Wendy and Barnabas sat down on the couch. The alarm in his eyes made her heart pinch. “I should have told you earlier that she came to talk to me.” Her stomach contorted into knots. “But I wanted to protect her privacy.”
“Why did you change your mind?” he asked.
“I’m not sure.” She ran her cold palms over her skirt. “I prayed for a long while after she left. For her and you and Ella.”
“Thank you.”
“And then I had this urge to check on all three of you. I’m sorry if I’m intruding too much.”
“It’s okay.” His calm tone was edged with impatience. “What did Junia say?”
She told him about their conversation. Under any other circumstance she wouldn’t have revealed what Junia had said. But an inner voice compelled her to be totally honest, and she would deal with the repercussions of divulging the information later.
By the time she finished, he was leaning on his knees, his head hanging. When she started to apologize again, he stopped her. “You did the right thing.” He looked at her. “She’s an adult, and you respected her privacy.”
“There was another reason I decided to come over. I thought—” She paused. She didn’t need to tell him this part, but she couldn’t keep it to herself. “I thought about what I would want if she were my daughter. And I’d want to know that she was in distress. I’m worried about her, Barnabas. I know she’s not my child, or even a friend. But—”
“You’re a compassionate woman.” He straightened. “You care about people. That’s plain as day.”
I care about you. The thought came at her fast, and now that it was in her mind, she knew it was true. She cared about Barnabas and his daughters. Oh, what a mess this was. She had no business being involved with the Yoders, and it looked like the conflict mediation was a bust, not to mention her disastrous conversation with Junia. If he wasn’t angry at her now, she was sure he would be later.
“I wish I had more to tell you.” She started to stand.
“Stay.” He put his hand on her arm. “Please. I want you to stay.”
She couldn’t refuse him, even if she wanted to. She nodded. “What can I do to help?”
He faced her. “I have to tell Bishop Fry that Junia’s missing, but I want to try to look for her again. While I’m gone, can you keep Ella company?”
Wendy nodded, ignoring her disappointment that he only wanted her here to help Ella, then irritated with herself that she was feeling that way. “Of course.”
“She’s not showing it much, but she’s upset.” His gaze was intense. “It would mean a lot to know that she’s not waiting here alone . . .”
They both knew what he was thinking. In case something bad happened to Junia.
Ella walked out of the kitchen carrying a small tray with three mugs on it. She placed it on the table. “I’ll get the sugar and cream.”
“None for me.” Barnabas stood up. “I’m continuing the search.”
After a pause, Ella said, “Okay. Do you want me to go with you?”
“Stay here. I’ve asked Wendy to wait with you. Maybe she’ll show up while I’m gone—”
The front door opened, and they all turned around. Junia walked in wearing Malachi’s coat. He was right beside her.
Wendy’s hand went to her chest. Thank you, God. Junia was home.
* * *
Silence.
Ella shifted on the chair she’d brought from the kitchen. Junia and Malachi were seated on the couch, Daed in his chair with Wendy sitting beside him, at her father’s request. It did make sense considering Junia had already confided in her, and they might—or more likely, probably would—need her conflict mediation skills. The surprise was how adamant her father was about it. He was also staring at Junia and Malachi with a resolve she hadn’t seen before. He really was making the decisions now.
The tension was oppressive. Junia kept staring at her feet and Malachi’s expression was impassive. Wendy kept glancing at Daed as if silently deferring to him. They all seemed to be waiting for his signal to talk.
It dawned on Ella that maybe she shouldn’t be here. Junia was the one who had to explain herself, and apparently she and Malachi were at least on speaking terms. Daed clearly wanted Wendy by his side, and Ella briefly wondered if there was something going on between them that she didn’t know about. Which made her the fifth wheel in this dynamic, and she was more than eager to scoot out of here. She stood. “I’ll be upstairs—”
Daed pointed to the chair. “Sit, Ella.”
She quickly complied. He was speaking English, no doubt out of deference to Wendy.
He turned to Junia. “Where have you been?”
Her chin lifted in her usual defensive stance. But even Ella could tell her heart wasn’t in it. “I was just out for a little while.”
A muscle jerked in Daed’s jaw. “All day is not a little while.”
“But—”
“Junia.”
Everyone looked at Malachi. His stern tone and expression brooked no argument as he frowned at her. “You need to apologize.”
Good luck. But to Ella’s amazement, Junia nodded. “I’m sorry, Daed. I didn’t mean to worry you.” She turned to Wendy. “After we talked, I went to the barn.”
“What barn?” Daed asked.
“The old one in the middle of that field about half a mile from here.”
“My barn?” Ella clamped her mouth shut. She couldn’t even have a ramshackle building to herself.
“Your name wasn’t on it,” Junia snapped. After Malachi’s quick nudge she said, “Sorry, Ella. I shouldn’t have said that. But it’s where me and Malachi always meet. I kept thinking about what you said, Wendy. That I had a lot of decisions to make.” She took Malachi’s hand. “I decided to tell the truth. I called Malachi and he picked me up. Then we went back to Birch Creek and talked.”
“I’m sorry if we worried you,” Malachi said. “I didn’t realize until later that she hadn’t told you where she was. As soon as I found out, we came straight here.”
“I shouldn’t have left without telling you, Daed. I’m sorry about that too.”
“You worried us all,” he said, still sounding aggravated. “Including Wendy.”
Wendy glanced down. “It’s okay, Barnabas.”
“Nee, it’s not. Junia, you can’t keep carrying on like this.”
“I know.” Tears pooled in her eyes, and for once Ella believed they were genuine. “I
really am sorry. I never should have disobeyed or worried you. I was so angry, I couldn’t think straight. And I was hurt that you didn’t trust me.” She brushed away the tear running down her cheek. “I see now that I don’t deserve your trust. I’ve been difficult to live with, and I’m making everyone’s lives miserable.” She turned to Ella. “Especially yours.”
Shocked didn’t begin to describe how Ella felt hearing her sister’s words. Not only was Junia apologizing sincerely, but she was also acknowledging that her bad behavior was on purpose.
Junia turned to Malachi. “I’m so sorry for hurting you.”
“You already said that.” He patted her hand. “And I forgave you.”
She smiled at him, hearts in her eyes. Then she looked at everyone else. “I promise I’ll be better. I’ll work hard and I won’t grumble about it. I want to prove I can be a good daughter, sister”—she leaned closer to Malachi—“and wife.”
He tightened his grip on her hand. “Tell them what we discussed.”
She looked at Daed again. “We decided that you’re right. We need a chaperone. We also need to slow things down.”
Daed and Ella exchanged stunned looks.
“We promise not to meet alone,” Malachi said. “That’s what we told my mom and dad. They thought that was an excellent idea.”
Daed tapped his fingers against the chair arm. Then he looked at Ella. “Are you still willing to chaperone them?”
While she wasn’t ready to trust that her sister’s attitude wouldn’t turn on a dime, she had truly apologized, something she hadn’t done in a long time. The next few weeks and months would be the true test, and she would meet her halfway. “Yes, but on one condition.”
Junia’s and Malachi’s eyebrows both shot up. Daed and Wendy looked just as surprised.
Ella turned to Junia, her throat full of sudden emotion. “That you’ll accept my apology. I haven’t behaved much better. You’re right when you said I was pushy and bossy. I’m trying to change that. I can’t promise I won’t fall into old habits, but I want to be better too.”
Junia smiled. “If you hadn’t been bossy and pushy, we wouldn’t have moved to Marigold. I never would have met Malachi.”
“And we do have a successful store. I’m thankful for that,” Barnabas added.
But Ella didn’t miss how he and Wendy looked at each other. Yes, there was something going on there.
He turned to the couple. “I’m glad you were able to work this out.”
“Me too,” Wendy said, looking pleased.
“Thank you for helping me,” Junia said. “I’m so glad I came to talk to you.”
“Malachi, Junia,” Daed said, his expression serious. “You’re making the right decision to take your relationship slow. I know how easy it is to get caught up in the first blush of love. But it’s important to take time to get to know each other and make sure you want to spend the rest of your lives together. Better to find that out now than when it’s too late.”
They both nodded. Malachi released Junia’s hand. “I’ve got to get home.”
“Can I walk him to his buggy, Daed?”
Daed hesitated, then nodded. “Just don’t stay out too long.”
“I won’t.” She jumped up from the couch and left with Malachi.
“I need to be heading home too.” Wendy stood, Daed joining her.
“And I’ll clean up.” Ella hurried and picked up the tray, feeling more like a fifth wheel than ever. She dumped out the cold coffee and washed the cups, and she had just finished cleaning out the percolator for tomorrow’s brew when her father walked into the kitchen.
“What do you think, Ella?” He stood beside her at the sink.
She stilled. Was he asking her opinion about Junia and Malachi . . . or him and Wendy?
“I guess the proof will be in the pudding.” Daed leaned against the counter. “One thing I know for sure.”
“What’s that?” She put the lid on the percolator and set it on the stove.
“Malachi will keep her in line. But he does have his work cut out for him.”
Ella smiled. “That he does.” She put her arms around him. “I love you, Daed.”
He returned her hug. “I love you too.” Then he stepped back. “I’m sorry I haven’t been the father you needed all these years. You and Junia aren’t the only ones who need to change. I’ll be working on things too.”
With Wendy? She almost asked the question out loud. She liked her, and her being here tonight seemed natural, even though she was English and they didn’t know much about her. But if her daed had feelings for her, that would be a huge problem. He wouldn’t leave the church for anything. If Wendy was planning to join, that would be great. But Ella hoped it wouldn’t be because she was falling for her father. Joining the Amish wasn’t an easy thing to do, and it shouldn’t be. Their life and faith were different from the world. It was a lot more than giving up air-conditioning and cars.
She pushed away the thoughts before they muddled her mind too much.
* * *
Later that night when Ella had finished her nightly prayers and was tucked into bed, she heard a tap on the door.
“Ella?” Junia said. “Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
The room was dark, and she heard rather than saw Junia enter. “Do you remember what we used to do after Mamm died?”
Ella pulled back the covers. “Come on in.”
Junia scrambled into bed next to her. For a moment neither of them spoke. Finally, she said, “You do believe I’m sorry, don’t you?”
“I want to,” Ella answered honestly. “But if you really are, then things will have to be different around here. Daed and I need help around the house and the store. That means regular hours and none of this running off you’ve been doing—” She paused, already falling into her worst habit. “I’m being bossy again, aren’t I?”
“Ya, but I need it right now. And you’ve got to let me do the work. I might not get it done the way you would do it, but it will be done.”
“Deal.”
“Also,” Junia continued, “we both need to mind our tempers.”
“I know.” Ella frowned. “Aenti Cora and Aenti Tabitha always bugged me about mine. I should have listened.”
“Me too.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, they used to get after me all the time for being too hot-tempered.”
Ella nearly sat up in bed. “I didn’t know that.”
“Well, you were busy all the time.” Junia chuckled.
“True. Did they ever tell you that you wouldn’t get married?”
“Um. Nee.”
“Oh.” Guess I was the lucky one.
“While I was at the barn, I thought about going back to Lancaster,” Junia said. “I thought it would have been easier than facing what I’d done. How I behaved. But I changed mei mind.”
“Why?”
“I’d miss you and Daed too much. And Malachi, of course. He was really mad at me, Ella. He’s always so calm and in a gut mood when we’re together. I had nee idea he could get so angry.”
“He’s not anymore.”
“Nee.” She giggled. “He sure isn’t.”
Jealousy tugged on Ella’s heart, and she suddenly thought about Nelson again. Or more accurately, thought about being in his arms, and then remembered how nice his hands had felt when they were resting on her waist. Butterflies appeared in her stomach, replacing the jealousy as she recalled everything he’d done for her. Paid for her lunch at Pancho’s. Made sure she had a ride home when her anger had gotten in the way of her common sense. Offered her a warm place to cool her temper. Lent her a listening ear. Forgave her for messing up his hair. And gave her his strong shoulder to lean on. Sigh.
But there was no use in relishing those times with Nelson Bontrager. He wasn’t attracted to her, and he seemed sour on love anyway. Even if he weren’t, she was the last person he’d be attracted to. He’d made it clear he didn’t like bossy women or want her help with his butcher shop. There was absolutely nothing between them and never would be. A few more minutes passed and her eyes drifted shut.
“Ella?”
Her eyes flew open. “Ya?”
“Do you think there’s anything going on with Daed and Wendy?”
Funny you should mention that. “I don’t know. Why did you geh talk to her?”
“I couldn’t think of anyone else who would understand. I don’t mean that as a dig, Ella. It’s just . . . She’s really nice. And honest. She said some things I didn’t want to hear, but I needed to. I think she cares about us, which is strange since we don’t really know her that well.”
“I think she does too.”
“I saw them looking at each other, when they didn’t think anyone was looking at them.”
“Tonight?” Ella’s brow shot up. She had barely noticed, and she wasn’t as distressed as Junia. Then again, she wasn’t as romantically tuned in either.
“Nee. At the store. She kept coming by last week. But maybe I’m just imagining things. Even if they liked each other, there’s nix they can do about it.”
Ella nodded, even though her sister couldn’t see the movement. She didn’t want her father to get hurt. Her eyes closed again.
“Ella?”
She didn’t bother opening them, suddenly remembering her sister’s habit of keeping the conversation going until they both nodded off. “Ya?”
“Do you ever think about Mamm?”
“Ya,” she whispered. “All the time.”
“I do too. I miss her, Ella. I wish she were here. I’d ask her so many questions about love and relationships.”
She felt Junia’s hand clasp hers. “Me too, Junia.” Me too.