WHEN I GET ON the elevator on the first floor of the corner bank building in Old Town Alexandria and ride to the third floor, where the Unlocking Potential offices are located, I always have the same feeling. I am grateful and happy. I’m grateful for our team, for our work, and for our partners. I’m happy that I’m able to spend my time as I do. Sure, I have bad days just like everyone else, but most days are filled with gratitude and happiness.
Recently, on the heels of a Leadership Lab, I sat for an interview about our foundation’s work.
“So, these principles you espouse,” the interviewer said, “what benefit can a person expect to realize who follows your methods faithfully, over time?”
I sat with the question for a moment before answering.
“Less fear, more joy,” I replied.
The more I practice what I’ve been preaching throughout these chapters, the less fear I have. Granted, I’ve been working on building courage for quite some time now; but as I told you before, we never fully get over our fears. We can learn to quiet them, we can learn to subdue them, we can learn to relegate them to a place on the back shelf. But at some level, fear will always be with us. It will always rear its head. So when I told the interviewer, “Less fear,” what I meant was less of being mastered by fear. As I’ve learned to run toward problems instead of running away from them, and as I keep trying to always choose the best version of myself over all other forms, fear has had far less sway over my decision-making. It occupies less and less of my brain.
Likewise, following the winding path instead of adhering to a plan ushers in something I recognize as joy.
If you’ve spent any time around the fields of physics or engineering, you’re familiar with the concept of sine. A sine wave is a continuous up-and-down curve, generally depicted as rising above and below a horizontal axis. Now picture those peaks and valleys as emotions—the highest of highs and lowest of lows, followed by another high, another low, another high—and you have a decent understanding of what is celebrated in our culture these days. Society by and large has fallen prey to the magnification and amplification of circumstances. More specifically, to our collective reactions to those circumstances. This makes sense, I suppose: If everything is truly either an all-time-greatest experience or a tragic, epic fail, it stands to reason we’ll respond by being really up or really down.
But I’ve found it’s all a sham. In truth, there are very few actual crises and very few best-ever experiences. Consequently, so much of the energy we expend is a colossal waste.
Multiple studies on the effect of interruptions on our ability to focus on a task have shown it takes the average person at least thirty minutes—and in some cases, an hour or more—to regain their pre-interruption concentration, once the distraction has come and gone.
How about we choose to disembark from the societal roller coaster we’ve willingly put ourselves on? You and I both would agree that it’s impossible to avoid all distractions in life—and who would want to, anyway? If we care about people, we must accept that they are unpredictable and very rarely operate on our time frame. But since when does it make sense to ride the “sines of our times,” expending so much energy going up and down?
I bring this up because I’ve noticed that, as I practice following the path, there is a steadiness, a sureness, in my step. No longer do I feel subjected to the wild swings of cultural enthusiasm.
We’re outraged! We’re elated! We’re fuming! We’re rejoicing! We’re incredulous! We’re euphoric! We’re irate!
Increasingly, I feel like the horizontal axis on the sine-wave diagram, steadily and efficiently cutting its way through all the ups and downs. And though there was a time in my life when I would have said that this kind of evenness sounded terribly boring to me, thankfully that time has passed. These days, I find that letting go of the unending anxiety on one side and the unbounded hysteria on the other has become a wonderfully welcome part of my life.
When I was living life on the campaign trail in 2015 and early 2016, I was often asked by folks in the media what it was like to be “a woman CEO”—and later, “a woman presidential candidate.” My answer was not entirely facetious: “I don’t know,” I replied. “I’ve never been a man.”
In the same way that I will never know anything but being a woman, I believe I will never know anything besides trying to always operate at full potential—ideas flying, cylinders firing, heart engaged. And my commitment to you is this: If you will devote yourself to the practices we’ve talked about—the perspective, the courage, the character, the whole bit—you too will never know anything but maximized potential. If you will choose to live this way, I can all but guarantee that a day will come when you will wonder, When’s the last time I wasn’t content?
My four “really cans” for you are these:
- You really can learn to view problems as opportunities.
- You really can choose the practices that will help you thrive.
- You really can live from your fullest potential.
- You really can help others do the same.
You really can learn to view problems as opportunities.
This idea that problems are the pavement under our feet, the very thing that tells us we’re on the right path, is not just lip service for me. It’s how I live my life. Solving problems is what we were made for, remember?
We see beauty and are moved to capture it.
We see need and are moved to meet it.
We see suffering and are moved to eradicate it.
We see hope and are moved to multiply it.
We see love and are moved to return it.
We see joy and are moved to relish it.
We see pain and are moved to alleviate it.
We see peril and are moved to avoid it.
We see grace and are moved to reflect it.
Yes, we get tired and frustrated. Yes, we can be harsh with our words. Yes, distractions still tempt us. Yes, we think our way is best. But at the core of who we are, we’re focused on making things better. We’re determined to learn, to change, to grow. That’s why certain problems make your heart beat faster, make you long to jump into the fray. You were made for solving those problems. You have the needed resources to solve those problems. You owe it to yourself and others to play through.
When you encounter such problems, then, my advice to you is not to wallow, but to get to work.
A few examples, if I may:
If seeing the teachers at your child’s school being undervalued and underpaid drives you nuts, rally a work group of like-minded warriors and get busy blessing teachers’ lives.
If seeing a bullying boss at work makes those tiny hairs on your neck stand up straight, gather a group of like-minded warriors and overcome evil with good.
If seeing undeveloped land on one corner and people who are homeless and hungry on the other corner makes your brain want to explode, gather a group of like-minded warriors to plant a garden, get people fed, change some lives.
In other words, be encouraged by seeing the potential, not the peril, of such problems.
In a recent World Economic Forum article, author Martin Burt said it well:
Social innovation and social entrepreneurship is about creating new paradigms and new ways of addressing old social problems. Social innovation has to do with impact, and it has to do with scale. These are new ways of seeing problems as opportunities, of seeing how to look at the same problem from a different perspective, and bringing light to a solution that may be right there under our nose[s]. . . . What social entrepreneurs are doing [is] bringing a flashlight to the room.[1]
This type of seeing requires some training on our part, Burt says. We must decide to see the possibilities. We must decide to think future state. “We need to look at problems not as something that is impossible to address, but as something that we can accomplish. . . . Every single social problem is an opportunity.”[2]
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
So if you detect rampant job dissatisfaction in your department, do you see a problem, or do you see potential?
If you detect loneliness in your neighborhood community, do you see a problem, or do you see potential?
If you detect apathy among your friend group, do you see a problem, or do you see potential?
If you detect a sharp, judgmental spirit in your extended family, do you see a problem, or do you see potential?
When we start to see that we were made to solve problems, and that our deepest sense of fulfillment rises only when we’re accomplishing that task, we will relish the arrival of new problems. We will celebrate; we’re on the right path.
I’m confident you will feel that same sense of elation I feel upon getting to work each day. You’re right where you’re supposed to be, doing precisely what you’re meant to do. You are seen, and you are supported. You are flanked by those who care. You have a perspective that is worth hearing. You need not strain or hustle or strive. You can be amazing. You are prepared for the problems you face.
You really can choose the practices that will help you thrive.
If you’ve been giving away your power for a while, this truth may take some time to sink in; but I promise you it’s true. We all choose who we want to become. I encourage you to start today choosing the practices that will help you thrive.
Today you will become more fearful or more courageous. The choice is yours.
Today you will become more scattered or more integrated. The choice is yours.
Today you will become more uncooperative with others or more cooperative. The choice is yours.
Today you will become more of a pessimist or more of an optimist. The choice is yours.
You will expand your knowledge, or not.
You will increase your circle, or not.
You will act from compassion, or not.
You will wait patiently for life, or not.
You will challenge your own prejudices, or not.
You will practice gratitude, or not.
You will help others, or not.
You will let others speak first, or not.
You will ask for help, or not.
You will encourage others, or not.
These and a thousand other choices are yours, without exception.
You really can live from your fullest potential.
This may come as a surprise to you, but the most common reason for not operating at peak capacity is a three-letter word: y-o-u. I’m talking to myself here as well, which is why I can tell you with full confidence that if something’s in your way, most likely it’s you.
You’re the one who frets.
You’re the one who fusses.
You’re the one who allows fear to have its way in your mind.
You hesitate. You equivocate. You overanalyze. You sit. You stew. You play “just one more round” of Candy Crush (or whatever your weakness is), while the solutions at hand go untapped.
I met Nikki following a client event and knew immediately she was the real deal. Tie-dyed shirt and baggy pants, Rastafarian hairdo that was graying at the temples, colorful socks with ultra-flat tennis shoes, not an inch over five feet tall—you couldn’t have missed her if you tried.
“Carly,” she said, “that’s some no-nonsense teaching of yours. Right up my alley. Get ’er done, right?”
Nikki laughed her great laugh, as her smile stretched far and wide. In the conversation that followed, I learned about the most recent solutions Nikki had provided to her workplace.
“I keep track, for days that don’t pan out so well,” she said. “Gotta keep the faith—am I right?”
The more I talked with Nikki, the more I wanted whatever she had. Wise, witty, joyful, astute—this woman had it going on.
We parted company about twenty minutes later, but her words rang in my ears all night long. This was a woman who had chosen the path, who had opted for peace, contentment, and joy. She’d refused to be thrown off by life’s ebbs and flows; instead she allowed steadiness to be her guide. As a result of her faithfulness, her team had netted some huge results.
Does Nikki get it right every time, every day? I think you know the answer to that. But she is exactly where she is meant to be, doing exactly what she’s meant to do. And she knows it. She’s solving the problems she finds all around her, lifting people up as she goes.
I know the current struggles we face are serious—I do. I know they can weigh us down like a ton of bricks. I know the days can feel long and hope can be fleeting. And yet I also know this to be true: We can still make a positive contribution, day by day. We can still affect things for good. We can still emanate joy. We can still rise above our circumstances. We can still be fulfilled and live fulfilled, and then turn and show others the way. Yes, we really can.
You really can help others do the same.
In May 2008, a friend of mine, then–secretary of state Condoleezza Rice, asked me to create an empowerment fund for women in countries where they are most oppressed. We both recognized the vast opportunities she and I have been given in America, and we were compelled to be good stewards of the lessons we had learned and the resources we had acquired along the way.
Condi grew up in the segregated South, the only child of a teacher and a preacher. We each had found our way through diligent effort and a bit of luck. After all, we came of age at a time when this country was finding its conscience regarding the treatment of women; she and I were grateful for that favored spot.
More immediately, though, we were compelled by a truly tragic turn of events.
Two days after Christmas in 2007, the first woman ever to head a democratic government in a Muslim-majority nation, Benazir Bhutto of Pakistan, was assassinated. She had served as prime minister twice—from 1988 to 1990 and again from 1993 to 1996. Though many viewed her as a controversial figure, she was extremely instrumental in championing democracy and women’s rights in that part of the world.
On the day of her death, Ms. Bhutto had been campaigning ahead of her country’s January elections. Following a political rally in Rawalpindi, Pakistan, shots were fired at her and her associates. By six o’clock that evening, she had died. We were determined not to let her death be in vain.
We lost no time gathering groups of employees of the US Agency for International Development (USAID) and the US Department of State for discussion. What bubbled to the surface was a mutual desire for justice, opportunity, and leadership on behalf of women around the world. We began mapping out strategies fairly quickly: vocational training, microlending, awareness-building regarding women’s basic rights worldwide, and how to advocate for the liberty they deserved—many of the same things Benazir Bhutto had stood for. How we hoped she would have been proud.
There were lots of great organizations doing good work. I believed many of the best were local, focused on their communities, but they were also so small they weren’t getting the attention and the funding they needed. So we decided to lift them up.
On the administrative side, we decided to make this a joint effort, bringing together ten partners from the private sector and both the State Department and USAID from the public sector. In terms of the recipients of the grants we would issue, organizations would simply submit applications that detailed the thrust of their cause.
Shortly after Condi and I confirmed the details of our plan, she delivered a formal statement in Washington, DC:
In an age where women are climbing to new heights, we must pause for a moment and direct our concerns toward those who have been left behind. . . .
Across this globe, we see signs of women standing up for freedom, standing up for justice and demanding opportunity. And I am proud of the work the United States is doing to support them. I am equally proud of our corporate partners for their initiative to empower, educate, and inspire women across the globe. We know that it is only by working together that we can ultimately effect change for women around the world.[3]
As is always the case, things took longer to move ahead than we hoped, and for the first full year following our official announcement, we gave away not a single dollar. But we did raise our first round of funding, and at last grants were ready to be made. I beamed when I saw the headline on an advance release from USAID’s office in early June 2009: “‘One Woman Initiative’ Announces First Grants to Women’s Organizations in Five Nations.”
The article began,
The One Woman Initiative, a one-year-old public/private initiative to empower women in countries with significant Muslim populations, today announced its first grants, totaling more than $500,000 to five grassroots organizations in Azerbaijan, Egypt, India, Pakistan, and the Philippines. The OWI grants are being made to locally focused organizations with results-oriented programs providing women access to legal rights, political participation, and economic development.[4]
I lingered over the details of those first five grants, imagining in my mind’s eye the good they would do. When one woman—just one woman—is empowered, the world benefits. When that woman is granted access to information and training, to resources and opportunities, to advocacy and freedom and care, she can raise up her entire family, and on occasion, her community at large. To embolden ten women or one hundred women or one thousand women—as these first five grants would do—wasn’t a matter of addition but of exponential effect. When entire swaths of the population in various villages and regions are given access to broad-based support, and when they are invited to participate in local workplaces, and when they are allowed to offer their expertise, opinions, and strength—well, in that scenario, the ensuing effect can be huge.
———
As you think of all you’ve read in this book, and as you reflect on your own life and your opportunities for impact, perhaps you feel small and inadequate just as often as you feel powerful and strong. Whenever you feel small, think of a pebble tossed into a still pond. The tiny pebble enters the water with barely a splash, but from there it sends ripples far and wide. Seemingly inconsequential agents can catalyze significant change. If just one person discovers that he or she has power; if just one person is shown his or her vast gifts; if just one person is taught how to stand firm and speak; if just one person learns how to dream, then ripples will begin to move across the world.
Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE