A few days later I turned my car into the entrance of Braithwaite Manor, and tootled along the driveway, imagining myself to be in a period drama, arriving for the start of a country weekend. Instead, maybe not quite as excitingly, I was on my way to collect Katy for our shopping trip into town. I hadn’t seen Max since he’d had to dash off to see Sasha that day, but I’d had time enough to realise it wasn’t an issue. How could it be after that delicious conversation we had about our feelings for each other? What I had to remember was that Sasha was in the past and I was very much here in the present. Well, that’s what I hoped, anyway. Pulling up outside the pillared front doorway, I beeped on the horn and Max’s dogs came running out to greet me, barking noisily. When there was no sign of Katy emerging, I climbed out of the car and wandered around to the back door.
‘Katy, all I’m asking is that you talk to her,’ I heard Max say in an imploring voice. ‘You’ll have to do it sometime. Mum wants to make things right, but she can’t do that if you won’t even speak to her.’
‘I don’t want to, Max. Don’t you understand. I haven’t got anything to say to her. She wants me to go back to Spain and it’s not going to happen. However much you get on at me.’
I hovered there for a moment, trapped on the outside of their impassioned conversation, wondering if it wouldn’t be better if I just turned around and went home. Tentatively, I stepped forward and knocked on the glass pane of the open door.
‘Is this a bad time?’
‘No,’ said Katy quickly, ‘I’ve been waiting for you.’ Her relief at getting out of her conversation with her brother was palpable. ‘I won’t be a moment. I’ll just pop to the loo, and grab my bag, then I’ll be ready to go.’
‘Oh dear,’ I said to Max when she’d left. ‘I’m guessing by the sound of that conversation that things aren’t any better as far as Katy and her mum are concerned.’
‘I’ve tried everything. I just can’t get through to her. Mum is calling every two minutes wanting to talk to her, and Katy just refuses. If she would only open up to me and tell me what the problem is, I might be able to help, but she just won’t have it. I can’t seem to please either of them at the moment.’
‘Give her a bit more time and I’ll bet she’ll come round.’
‘Well I bloody well hope so, because I’m at a loss as to what to do next. She’s clearly miserable and unhappy, but I can’t see how that’s ever going to change if she won’t even help herself.’
‘I’ll see if I can talk to her when we’re out. It might take her mind of things, a bit of retail therapy.’
Max shrugged. I wasn’t sure if his irritability was down solely to Katy or if he had other things on his mind.
‘I meant to ask, what happened with Sasha the other day?’
Max hadn't said a word about it, and not knowing what was happening was slowly turning me crazy.
He lifted his brow and I detected a flicker of emotion in his eyes. I wondered if her reappearance in the village had unsettled him in the same way as it had me. If seeing her again, he hadn’t realised that he’d missed her and still held feelings for her. I steadied my breathing. No. Stop it, Ellie, with the wild realms of fantasy. I was being ridiculous.
‘Yeah, she’s good. The cottage was just what she was looking for so I think she was very relieved to find somewhere. She’s moved in some of her stuff already.’
So Sasha wasn’t as firmly placed in the past as I hoped. Now she was here again, in the present, and in the future too, I had to wonder, sadly.
‘Already? That was quick.’ Too damn quick for my liking. Why the hurry? And couldn’t Max have just run it by me first? Had he not considered how I might feel knowing his glamorous ex had moved into a house, just a stone’s throw away from the manor.
I took a step backwards, my gaze scanning his face for an answer.
‘Yeah, well the thing is…’ Just then we heard footsteps padding through the kitchen and turned to see Katy approaching. What was it he had been about to tell me? ‘It doesn’t matter,’ he said, as if hearing my silent question. ‘We can catch up on the news later.’ He pulled me to him, his hands on my shoulders, and kissed me tenderly on the lips, although I couldn't concentrate on his kiss when I was still trying to digest the news about Sasha.
‘Oh pur…lease! Stop with all the lovely-dovey stuff. It’s gross,’ said Katy, her disgust entirely genuine.
Max and I exchanged a look and we giggled, and for that moment I could forget about my concerns over Sasha.
‘You know, you’re very welcome to come with us,’ I told Max.
‘Er, thanks, but no. My idea of hell traipsing around the shops, I’m afraid. But I know you two will have the best time ever.’
I laughed, mainly at Katy’s horrified expression that I’d even invited Max along in the first place. What she didn’t know was that I’d only asked because I’d known there wasn’t the remotest chance that he would have accepted.
Max reached inside his jeans pocket and pulled out a wad of cash, handing it over to Katy. Wide-eyed, she looked at the money and then back up at Max.
‘What’s this?’
‘Well you can’t go shopping without money, can you? Why don’t you buy some new clothes.’
‘Really? You are brilliant. The best brother ever.’ She stood on tiptoes, throwing her arms around his neck and reached up to kiss him. ‘Thank you!’
Max looked at me, bemusement on his face, but I could tell by the glint in his eye and the smile on his lips that he was touched by Katy’s unexpected show of affection.
*
‘Oh my god, my feet!’
In the bustling Italian restaurant the waiter showed us to a corner table – I’d never been so pleased to sit down. We dumped our numerous bags on the floor and received the menus gratefully, immediately putting in an order of a white wine spritzer for me and a Diet Coke for Katy, as we were both gasping for a drink. I swear we’d been in every clothes shop in the arcade, possibly twice, but Katy clearly had tons more stamina than me for shopping. Still, I couldn’t complain because it had been a wholly successful trip. First off, we’d managed to find an adorable silver bracelet for Stella’s christening, one that I’d be able to buy charms for on each of her birthdays, and a complete set of Beatrix Potter’s books in a presentation case. Then we started on the search for something for me to wear to the inaugural Little Leyton summer ball. In my mind I knew exactly how I wanted to look, elegant and sophisticated, yet understated too, so I was thinking something long and classic, in a neutral colour, that made me look two sizes smaller. It should have been an easy task, but it wasn’t. Spending most of my time in jeans and sweatshirts, I hated trying on clothes at the best of times, but today everything I picked up seemed too fancy, too expensive and just not me. The couple of dresses I did try on made me look like a small girl dressing up in her mum’s clothes. Thank goodness Katy was there. She convinced me, when my enthusiasm was waning and I was about to give up and go home, that we couldn’t even think about leaving until I’d found the perfect dress. Going back to the very first shop we’d visited, Katy’s eyes had alighted on a pale turquoise bias-cut dress.
‘Try this,’ she’d said. ‘It’s in your size.’
I felt my lip curl involuntarily in disbelief. Not only was it in a bright colour that I would never have chosen for myself, it was far too fussy with lots of layers at the top falling like a soft waterfall, and a long sweeping skirt.
‘I’m not sure…’
‘Just try it. You never know it might suit you.’ She’d almost manhandled me into the changing rooms.
Now, sitting in the restaurant, my feet throbbing as though I’d just run a marathon, I was so pleased that Katy had pressed me to try it on. Left to my own devices I would never have picked it up but as soon as I put it on, I knew it was the one. Cinderella would go to the ball after all! It was less formal than I’d been looking for, much more floaty and summery, but the colour suited me and the sensation of the fabric swishing against my skin had given me a delightful thrill of anticipation at the thought of wearing it on the night of the ball. With some silver strappy sandals we found, I knew I had the perfect outfit. Hitting the shops with Katy had definitely been a good idea, helping us to bond on so many levels.
The waiter delivered our drinks and I took a much longed for sip.
‘So are you pleased with what you’ve bought?’
Katy nodded, surveying the bags at her feet. After we’d picked up my bits, she’d headed for a sprawling mega-store where she’d swept around like a woman on a mission, filling her huge basket with T-shirts, shorts, jeans and underwear and a small piece of black fabric which was supposedly a body-con dress. When she'd showed it to me, my eyes had widened and I’d had to bite my tongue to stop myself from commenting on just how revealing it was. Honestly, I felt a hundred years old!
‘Yes. I’m so happy.’ She grinned. ‘I didn’t think I’d be able to buy anything and now I’ve got a whole new wardrobe. Maybe Max isn’t so bad after all.’
‘Oh, he’s lovely,’ I said, jumping in with my agreement. Did I detect a thawing in her attitude towards her brother? ‘I know he can be grouchy at times, but he’s a real softy at heart.’
‘Yes, I’m getting used to him. Slowly,’ she said laughing, raising her eyes. ‘To be honest though, I find it much easier talking to you. He can be a bit…’ Her gaze drifted around the restaurant, in search of the right word.
‘Intense?’ I offered.
‘Yep, that’s it. He’s a bit full-on, isn’t he? He has this sort of wild energy that fills all the air in a room, and then when he leaves, it’s like you can breathe again.’
I couldn’t help smiling at Katy’s description of her brother. He was a bit of a whirlwind, admittedly, his presence demanding your full attention, but in many ways, Katy was just like him.
‘Max just wants to help. If there’s a problem he wants to solve it. He thrives on that kind of thing. Admittedly his problems usually involve late deliveries and dodgy building practices which he knows exactly how to handle. I think teenage girls and mothers might be a little out of his comfort zone.’ I managed to raise a smile from Katy. ‘Really though, he’ll be there for you. If you do want to talk.’
‘Yeah.’ Her gaze dropped to her fingernails. ‘It’s hard though, it’s like I don’t know what to say.’
My hand reached across the table for hers. ‘What happened Katy? With your mum? It must have been something bad for you to fall out with her?’
She looked at me warily, as if weighing up whether she should tell me or not. In the background, the sound of a tray full of crockery shattering on the floor reverberated around the room and everyone turned to look at the embarrassed waitress who was staring at the ground in disbelief. I turned my attention back to Katy, hoping the moment wasn’t lost.
‘Katy?’
She took a deep breath.
‘Oh, I guess it’s been building for a while. I always thought Alan was okay, we got on really well when I was small, but things changed as I got older and became a teenager. He’s always having a go at me, telling me what I can and can’t do. He just doesn’t stop, always criticising what I wear, the way I have my hair, the friends I hang out with. Mum never takes my side. It’s always about keeping Alan happy.’
‘Perhaps your mum was just trying to keep the peace.’
‘No, I think they’ll both be relieved to have me out of the way.’ She sighed heavily and I wondered, seeing her sadness, if I’d done the right thing in bringing up the subject. We’d had such a lovely time this morning, mooching around the shops, chatting about make-up and clothes. Katy was the happiest I’d seen her and then I had to go and ruin things by bringing up the one subject she was trying to escape from. ‘I think he’s always been jealous of me. Of the relationship me and Mum had. Well, they’ve no need to worry anymore, have they?’
‘Don’t say that,’ I urged. ‘She’s your mum, and she’s going to worry about you. I know you’ve not been getting on with Alan, but that’s perfectly normal. Show me a teenager that hasn’t had huge rows with their dad.’
‘That’s the point though, he isn’t my dad. He’s nothing to me. Mum might want to share her life with him and that’s up to her, but I don’t have to now.’
Katy’s jaw was set firm, the look in her eye telling me firmly not to even try and convince her otherwise.
‘I remember when I was about fifteen,’ I said, eager now to take the conversation in a different direction, ‘I met this guy who I really liked. He was nineteen and was studying at the local college, but he was unlike anyone I’d ever met before. He drove a 400cc motorbike and wore these red and black leathers, and he used to take me round town on the back of his bike. I still remember that feeling of hanging on tight to his waist and feeling the air rush past me as we whizzed around the streets. Of course, I never told my mum and dad because they would never have allowed me to see him. One night he invited me to go to a gig so I told my parents I was staying round a friend’s house, which would have been fine, but dad bless him, decided I would need my medication because I’d been suffering from a cold, so he turned up at my friend’s house. Oh my god! Dad went completely spare when he found out I wasn’t there but at a nightclub instead. He waited for me outside the club and when I came out, he didn’t say anything, he just literally dragged me away by the arm. It was so embarrassing. I was grounded for weeks and I never did get to see that guy again.’
‘Oh no!’
‘Yeah. I was devastated at the time.’ I gave a passing thought to that young guy, wondering what he might be up to. ‘Just think we could be married now with three kids. Ha, probably a blessing in disguise though or else I would never have got together with Max.’
Katy smiled. ‘It's funny how life pans out, isn’t it?’ she said, her face betraying a thousand emotions.
‘Yes, and it will work out for you too, Katy. I know it might not seem that way at the moment, but it will, I promise you.’
Katy looked up as she took a bite into her oozing croque monsieur, a long strand of cheese, hanging from her mouth and sticking to her chin. She grinned and wiped it away. We’d both opted for the same thing, served with chips and salad, and it was going down a treat. She took another bite, her warm intelligent eyes, the same intense shade as her brother’s, flickering over me.
‘Thanks for all this,’ she said, ‘it’s been really great.’
‘I’ve really enjoyed it too,’ I said, meaning it, and feeling relief that there wasn’t any awkwardness between us after the conversation about her mum. ‘We’ll have to do it again.’
When we’d finished, I settled the bill and we picked up our belongings and started on the walk back to the car park, laden down with all our carrier bags. We were just leaving the main doors to the centre when I heard someone call out my name.
‘Ellie? Oh, and Katy too. How lovely to see you both.’
I swung round to look, my whole being struck rigid to the spot at the realisation of who was standing in front of me. I felt sure my heart stopped beating too. No, it couldn’t be. Yes, it definitely was. No, she couldn't be… Oh god, it looked as though she definitely was. And if my expression was anything like Katy’s, who was open-mouthed and wide-eyed, then I knew there could be no hiding my complete and utter shock and amazement.