Sitting with a group of separated parents who had all read PARENT WARS, one parent told us about a recent conversation she had with her ex.
Her ex had asked her to make a change in their daughter’s schedule but she had told him no.
His response back to her was that his feelings were hurt because she didn’t agree to the change.
The woman shook her head in disgust and said to us, “Can you believe this? How dare he talk to me about his ‘feelings.’ I wanted to say to him, ‘You want to talk about hurt feelings? You want to go there? Who was the one who trashed our marriage? Who desecrated our vows? Who caused our daughter and me months of anguish and grief? Who forced us to move out of our beautiful home? Whose lives were completely shattered? How dare you tell me your feelings are hurt because I didn’t give in to one of your trivial requests.’”
But, the woman said, she didn’t go there.
Instead, she simply told her ex that she was going to stay with her decision anyway, and ended their conversation.
She said to us that prior to reading this book she and her ex would have gotten into a huge argument over his ridiculous ‘hurt’ feelings. But now she’s decided that it’s time to have better responses for the sake of their daughter.
Everyone in the group admired this woman for not getting into a shouting match with her ex, but the mom just shrugged it off. She didn’t think what she did was any big deal.
But this book disagrees.
This mom’s response was a huge deal.
She began!
She began the journey toward restoration in herself and her daughter.
For the first time since her separation the mother stepped away from her difficult past. Instead of linking this latest issue to a thousand other issues she’s had with her ex, she kept everything in the present—in the moment—only dealing with the issue at hand.
And, if she continues, this mom and her daughter will experience—as I and scores of other separated parents have—the remarkable transformation brought about by these life-changing Principles and Steps.