“Portia, wait!”
How could she have been so stupid?
Portia pushed open the doors of the exit, not waiting for Khai to hold them for her. She hadn’t waited for him either, as she grabbed her purse and headed toward the exit.
This was entirely her fault. She just assumed Khai believed the same things she did. After all, she met him through Morgan who was a believer, and Morgan said she had met him at a church event. She stopped and turned around so fast, Khai almost walked right into her.
“Morgan said she met you at church.” Portia questioned.
“Yeah,” Khai nodded. “At a baby blessing for my nephew, which happened to be in church. I told you, weddings, funerals, special events that my brother drags me to.”
Portia shook her head. “Drags you?”
Khai threw up his hands. “What do you want me to say, Portia? I am who I am. I could lie and tell you something different, but I don’t lie. And I have definitely never lied to you. I’m not about to start now.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t see this.” She shook her head and walked to the curb where the valet waited.
“See what?” Khai’s face was a picture of confusion as he followed.
She took the valet ticket from his hand and gave it to the attendant. “That you’re a complete heathen. I should have picked up on it. From your little comment earlier.”
She dropped her voice an octave. “You know we don’t actually have to go out for dinner...”
Khai held up a hand. “First of all, I do not sound like that.”
“You totally do...”
“And secondly, can you blame me for not wanting to share you with the world? Look at you. You’re absolutely stunning. I couldn’t take my eyes off you all night. And after that kiss...”
Portia felt her heart beat faster as his heated gaze pinned her. He stepped closer.
“After that kiss, you can’t tell me you didn’t feel—”
“Stop.” Portia placed a hand on his chest and slowly moved him back. “It doesn’t matter how I felt or feel, Khai. I can’t go there with you.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I absolutely am. I told you, Khai. I didn’t get this far on my own. I have to do it His way and His way says...no dating unbelievers.”
“So you’re passing on us because I don’t go to church?”
“No. I’m passing on us because we don’t believe the same things. Going down this road would only lead to heartbreak for both of us.”
“But--”
The valet pulled up with Khai’s car. Portia opened the door and got in before he could even reach for the handle. He, however, caught the door before she could close it.
“Could you stop doing that, please?”
“Stop what?” Portia looked up at him from the passenger seat.
“Stop acting like the evening is already over and I’m already gone,” he frowned. “I respect that you don’t see us going any further in this direction, but at least allow me to finish the evening properly.”
Portia felt her cheeks heat up. She looked at her feet. “I’m sorry.”
He closed her door and walked around to the driver’s side. Portia watched him from the corner of her eye. She noted the firm set of his handsomely sculpted jaw; saw the way his green eyes darkened to almost brown. And the mouth that had worked magic on her hours earlier was now locked in a rigid line.
He secured his seatbelt and moved the car forward. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
She sighed. Given his tone, she knew Khai wasn’t really interested in an explanation.
“Look. I’m sorry. I know I kind of overreacted a while ago.”
“You think?”
“But it wasn’t about you,” Portia continued. “It was about me. I should have gotten to know you better instead of making assumptions. I should have known more about you - and you about me I might add - before we started dating.”
He let out a deep breath, some of the tension left his body with it. “It’s not your fault, Portia. That is the point of dating, to get to know people so you can decide if you want to know them more.”
Portia nodded. Tense silence filled the vehicle as they headed across the bridge back to Brooklyn. With her hands folded in her lap and Khai’s eyes fixed on the road, she couldn’t help but notice the stark difference between the car ride at the beginning of the date and this one at the end.
She closed her eyes and reminded herself that she was doing the right thing. She couldn’t afford any more stress in her life, and dating someone who didn’t appreciate the God she served would definitely bring about all sorts of unsolvable chaos. And it wasn’t just about her. It wouldn’t be good for Khai either. It would not be what he wanted.
After what felt like eternity, Khai pulled up to her home. He shut off the engine but made no move to get out of the car.
“I wish I could say I get it, but honestly I don’t.” He turned to look at her. “Is it that you’re scared of being involved with me? Have you heard things about me? Cause I can promise you...”
Portia shook her head. “No, it’s not that.”
She bit her lip and turned to face him. “Have you ever gotten a really expensive gift?”
He shrugged. “Maybe once or twice.”
“Well, when you get an expensive gift, you usually try and take care of it. If it comes with instructions, you follow them because you know the giver provided them so you can get the best out of that gift.”
She reached out and held his hand. “My life is a gift, Khai. Just like yours is. But my life is a gift I got twice. Once just like everyone did when they were born, but again when God rescued me from my disorder. I didn’t take care of the gift the first time. But God, because He loved me and valued me so much, gave it to me again. And He gave me His Word, with instructions on how to take care of the gift. Not because He wanted to keep something good from me, but because He knows I will get the best from it when I follow the instructions. God’s guidelines are there to help us get the best out of our lives, Khai. We may not always see it that way, but God says I know the plans I have for you, they are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope. A couple of years ago, I didn’t have a future. Today, I do. And I want the rest of it, the one He has for me. And if following Him completely is how I get it, then I have to follow.”
Khai stared at her a long time, then he pulled his hand away.
“Okay. This is important to you.” He nodded as if convincing himself. “I respect it.”
She blinked back the moisture from her eyes. “Thank you.”
He kept his hands in his pockets as he followed her to the door and waited patiently for her to unlock it.
Portia turned to look at him. “It was a great night.”
He shrugged. “Thanks for letting me take you out anyway.”
She couldn’t quite muster a smile, so she slipped her hands around him to hug him. It was long enough for the scent of his cologne to sear her senses, but over before he could get his arms around her.
“Good night, Khai.”
She hurried inside and closed the door before she was tempted to change her mind.