Searching for Right

“Eight, nine, ten. Ready or not, here I come.”

Danielle tried to stifle her laughter from her hiding space in the hall closet as she imagined Kennedi opening her eyes and looking around the house for her mother and uncle. She knew her brother was in the shower, where he’d been hiding since they began playing the game. Jackson was allowing Kennedi to find him, but Danielle had moved from behind the curtains in the den to the space between the living room sofa and wall. She liked giving her daughter the opportunity to use all of her brainpower to figure out where she could be hiding.

“Giving her the chance to actually search for you stimulates her mind,” Danielle had explained to her brother when he’d asked her why she kept moving from one hiding space to another. “Plus, that’s the object of the game. You’re not supposed to let her find you.”

Danielle shook her head when she heard Kennedi scream, “I found you, Uncle Jack.” The girl had just begun looking for the hiders and had already found Jackson. Danielle knew that Kennedi would go looking in the den and living room for her just because those were the places she’d hid before. Hopefully, Jackson wouldn’t ruin the game by telling Kennedi where she was hiding.

“Kennedi, she’s not under the sofa. You can’t even fit under the sofa.” Danielle heard Jackson laugh.

It had been about five minutes and Danielle could tell that Kennedi was getting worried.

“She’s not here,” Kennedi said. “I’ll ask Grandma.”

Danielle laughed as she heard Kennedi knocking on Beverly’s room door. She couldn’t hear the conversation, but she could imagine what was coming out of Kennedi’s mouth: “Mommy’s lost. We were playing hide ’n’ seek and I lost her. She’s gonna be mad at me.”

Danielle could hear Jackson’s hearty laugh and knew that her daughter had said something close to what she’d imagined. Part of her wanted to stay in the closet and continue with the game, but another part of her could see Kennedi soon becoming afraid and she didn’t want to worry her daughter to tears. So, quietly, she emerged from the closet and moved toward the stairs. She could now hear Jackson and Beverly trying to tell Kennedi that her mother was somewhere in the house; she just needed to look harder.

Danielle walked down the stairs and slowly made her way down the hall that led to her mother’s bedroom. She stood behind Jackson and tapped him on the shoulder, but signaled for him to be silent. She then made the same motion to her mother, who’d seen her come into the room. Danielle eased her way up to Kennedi with a wide smile on her face. She grabbed her daughter by the waist and picked her up.

“I win!” Danielle shouted as Kennedi giggled.

Kennedi grabbed her mother’s neck and hugged her hard. “I thought you got lost.”

“No, I’m just a good hider.” Danielle laughed as she placed Kennedi back on the floor.

“Okay, Kennedi, since you won the first two games, what do you think your prize should be?” Jackson asked.

Kennedi wasted no time pondering over an answer. She jumped up and down as she shouted, “Ice cream!”

Danielle smiled as she grabbed Kennedi’s hand. “Ma, do you wanna come with us?”

Beverly looked up and Danielle could tell her smile was forced. “No, you guys go ahead.”

Danielle suppressed the heavy sigh that tempted her lips. She had made several attempts to resolve things with her mother since the dinner fiasco weeks ago, but apparently Beverly hadn’t taken notice, because she continued to make curt comments when speaking to Danielle, especially when it had something to do with Kennedi.

As Jackson drove to a nearby Dairy Queen, he commented on the tension in the household. “How long have you and Mama been like this?”

Danielle shrugged. “Since Kennedi was born. Mama thinks I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to Kennedi, but apparently I’m doing fine.”

“Well, maybe Mama doesn’t think so,” Jackson suggested. “She seems to comment on everything you do when it concerns Kennedi. Like last night, she nearly had a fit when she saw Kennedi scooting down the steps on her behind.”

“I know,” Danielle said, remembering how her mother had called her from the kitchen and had started a fifteen-minute argument about Kennedi roaming around the house without someone supervising her. “But last week she was getting on me because I was carrying Kennedi down the stairs like she was a baby. Maybe we just need to move to a single-level house.”

Jackson gave a small laugh in response as he pulled up to the drive-thru window of the fast food restaurant. After ordering their desserts, Jackson asked Danielle if there was anywhere she wanted to go.

“I don’t know. It’s nice to get out of the house, so wherever you wanna go is cool. Just don’t take my baby and me anywhere where there is a bunch of fast girls, obnoxious guys, or loud conversation or music. I have a headache.” Danielle flashed Jackson a quick smile when he sighed.

“Well, I guess that means the only place we can go to is a park,” Jackson said mockingly.

Kennedi’s cheers signified that that suggestion pleased her. Danielle laughed when Jackson shook his head. She knew he was used to parties and hanging out late, but when he decided to hang out with his sister and niece, those were not options.

When they reached the park, Kennedi ran toward the swings and Jackson followed close behind. Danielle decided to rest on a bench and hoped to get some quiet time alone. As she sipped on her chocolate shake, she watched as Jackson pushed Kennedi on the swings and remembered when her father used to do the same with her. Neil Brookes tried his hardest to always be there for his kids, even with his hectic work schedule. Business meetings and trips kept him away for long periods of time, but when he was home, he spent every free moment he had with his children.

Danielle and Jackson never had to fight for his attention because he gave it to them equally. Danielle loved spending time with her dad. He always kept a smile on her face. He was funny, loving, and generous. He tried his best to make a happy home for her and the rest of her family. He’d tried even harder to hide the fact that there was a problem between him and his wife, but things kept in the dark could only be hidden for so long.

Even after the divorce, Neil remained faithful to his kids. He tried relentlessly to keep their bond strong. He’d take them out every weekend—movies, bowling, skating, shopping. Anywhere Danielle and Jackson wanted to go or anything they wanted to do, Neil had it covered.

He’d continued to show his love even hundreds of miles away. But Danielle slowly began to feel as if she weren’t as close to her father as she used to be. At first she began chalking it up to the distance between them. How could he take her out or spend time with her when he was so far away? But when she had to be the one to call him just for a few minutes of conversation, Danielle knew she’d lost that special bond with her father.

Maybe he was too busy trying to grow closer to Neil Jr. Danielle tried not to think about the brother she’d never known, but it was a difficult task. She had been waiting for her father to call. She had expected for him to offer an explanation. She had figured that he would just want to know that his eldest son had made it to the other end of the country okay. But Neil’s voice hadn’t graced their telephone lines in nearly three months. The last time Danielle had talked to Neil, he had cut their conversation short because he was headed to lunch with a business partner. She hadn’t heard from him since.

Maybe he’s just afraid. Danielle was sure that he was apprehensive to contact them. She was sure that he was afraid of what may be said to him in response to his actions. Danielle didn’t even know what she would say to her father if he called. She was sure that there would be no pleasure or understanding in her tone.

Kennedi’s laugh brought her attention back to the present. Jackson was pushing her a little high, but unlike her mother, who would’ve had a fit by now, Danielle was sure her brother was being careful.

She wished she could show her mother that she was being responsible when it came to Kennedi. Sure she made mistakes, but she was only seventeen for goodness’ sake. Danielle thought she deserved a break. She was raising a nearly five-year-old toddler on a single check and felt that she was doing pretty well. She had given up all of extracurricular activities, such as Honor Chorus and softball, and many material things just so that her daughter wouldn’t go without life’s most essential necessities.

Danielle felt that there was something deeper to Beverly’s overprotective nature. It had nothing to do with Kennedi or how Danielle raised her . . . or maybe it did, but Danielle felt as if the problem had more to do with Beverly than it did with her and her daughter.

The sky had gone from a horizon painted in pink and purple to a dark canvas enhanced by a full moon. It was time to get Kennedi home and in bed. Danielle had to get up for school tomorrow and was getting a little sleepy herself. So she yelled to Jackson that it was time to head back home.