Searching for Right

Lauren pulled her car up to the curb nearly four houses down and across the street from Irvin’s home. The street was lined with cars, and in the distance Lauren could see several people standing outside the house as if it was too crowded to go inside. She wondered why she hadn’t heard about this party. With it being spring break, there were probably going to be parties every night this week. But as jam-packed as this party was, Lauren felt slightly offended by not being invited before this afternoon.

She had called her girls and asked them about attending the party with her. Jayda had declined, saying that she was going out with Evan this evening. Brenda had plans with Chase and the rest of her siblings tonight. And Danielle was supposed to be going out with her father and half brother so that they could spend some time together. So Lauren was left to attend the party alone, which would provide a more unavoidable arena for her classmates to give her the cold shoulder. But regardless of the shade her peers had been throwing her way, Lauren refused to remain in hiding. She was determined to have fun tonight.

She walked in her three-inch heels toward the ranch-style home. As she neared the house, she realized that none of the people standing outside seemed familiar to her. She looked down at her clothes when she passed a girl, positioned at the door, in a dark blue T-shirt and a pair of jeans. Maybe she was overdressed in her short, clingy party dress.

As she entered the house, the thumping music, which she could hear from outside, grew louder. The pulsating bass prevented Lauren from discerning the words of the rap song, but judging by the people dancing throughout the house, the song was apparently a crowd favorite. As she maneuvered her way through the crowd, Lauren spotted Jayda dancing with Evan in the middle of the living room floor. Pushing her way through groups of people, she moved toward her best friend.

“Hey, girl. What you doing here?” Jayda yelled over the music when she noticed Lauren standing next to her.

“This is the party I was talking ’bout coming to,” Lauren told her. “I thought you said you had plans.”

Jayda looked up at Evan and smiled. “I guess this was it. He never told me where we were going.”

Lauren nodded and noticed that her friend was dressed in a plain brown tank top, jean shorts, and a pair of brown and gold sandals. “What kind of party is this?” she asked once she noticed she was practically the only female in dressy attire.

Jayda laughed as she glanced down at her friend’s dress. “Jarred didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Lauren questioned.

Jayda leaned in and said, “This is his church’s youth group’s party.”

Lauren pulled back and looked at her friend as if she hadn’t heard what Jayda had said. “You’re serious?”

Jayda nodded.

Lauren looked around and noticed that several people were wearing the same dark blue T-shirt that the girl at the door sported. The shirts displayed the name of the youth group and the church they belonged to. She couldn’t believe that Jarred hadn’t told her what kind of party this was before he invited her. She looked ridiculously stupid in her barely covering dress and open-toe heels while everyone else was dressed more conservatively.

“I’m out of here,” Lauren said to Jayda.

“Lauren, wait,” Jayda called as her friend walked off.

As Lauren made her way toward the door, she could hear Jayda calling after her, but she ignored her, wanting to get as far away from the party as possible. She had been concerned about coming to this party because of how her classmates had been treating her lately, but it had never crossed her mind that she would embarrass herself in front of a completely different group of people. As soon as she stepped off the porch, Lauren heard Jarred’s voice.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were here,” he said as he left the porch and took over Jayda’s pursuit of Lauren.

“Well, just pretend like I wasn’t,” Lauren said. “I’m going home.”

He matched her quick strides. “Why?” he questioned. “The party is just getting started.”

Lauren spun around to face him, bringing his steps to a sudden halt. “Why didn’t you tell me this was a church party?”

Jarred laughed. “Because it’s not.”

“Jarred, don’t lie to me,” she spat. “Jayda just told me that this is a party for your church youth group.”

“Exactly. It’s a youth party. Not a church party.”

Her eyes revealed her irritation.

“Look, everybody’s just tryin’a have fun. I know it’s different from what you’re used to, but I figured you could use some different surroundings.” His eyes pleaded with her. “Please, don’t leave.”

Lauren wondered why she’d never noticed his smooth skin or his wavy hair before tonight. Even his nose and lips looked striking to her. “I’m not dressed for this kind of party.” She sighed, trying not to focus on his appearance.

Jarred looked down at her party dress and shrugged. “You’re right, but you look fine. Just come back in and have something to eat or drink.”

Lauren glanced back at the house full of teens having fun in Jesus’ name. She’d never heard of Christians partying like this before. Though there was no vulgar music, risqué dancing, or intoxicating liquor, everyone seemed to be having a good time. Maybe she should give it a try.

Danielle

Danielle sat next to Jackson in the restaurant booth. Neil and Junior sat across from them. Danielle watched as her father held Kennedi in his lap and allowed a smile to creep across her face at the sight. Though she had spoken to him over the phone several times, Kennedi hadn’t interacted with her grandfather since she was a baby. Danielle wasn’t surprised that her daughter had become immediately attached to Neil. Lately, Kennedi seemed to be clinging to the few men in her life to compensate for the one man who had not been there for her since she was born. Danielle wasn’t too worried about the void in her daughter’s life, though, God willing, Kennedi would meet her father soon enough.

Danielle allowed her gaze to move toward her half-brother. When Jackson had said that Junior favored their father a little, he had been mistaken. Junior looked exactly like Neil, even more than Jackson. Danielle didn’t understand how Jackson could have never had suspicions concerning Junior’s relation to the family. Danielle surely would have begun asking questions the day she had met the young boy.

Junior looked up at Danielle and slightly smiled. She struggled to return the gesture, but was sure her attempt resulted in what looked like a painful grimace. In response, Junior lowered his eyes. Danielle knew she’d given the boy the impression that she didn’t care much for him, and maybe she didn’t, but she was trying for the sake of her family. She knew God would want her to accept Junior as her brother, but it would take some time.

“Are you guys enjoying your meals?” Neil asked his children.

Jackson nodded. “This chicken is good.”

“Mine is good too.” Danielle cut a piece of her fish and stuck it into her mouth.

Junior kept his eyes lowered as he placed a chicken strip into his mouth. “I like it.”

Danielle glanced at Junior and knew his mind was elsewhere. He had barely touched his food and she was sure he’d just stuck a piece of chicken into his mouth to satisfy their father. With everyone aware of the truth, she knew he felt like an outsider. He seemed to not know what to do now that he was officially a part of their family. Danielle wanted to make him feel welcome, but she honestly didn’t know how.

“So what do you guys have planned for the break?” their father asked.

Jackson tossed Danielle a quick glance before answering, “I’m going to a couple of parties this week with this girl I met a few weeks ago.”

Neil stared at his son. “Just don’t get too out of hand with the partying.”

“I’m sure we’re not even going to those types of parties,” Jackson responded. “This girl is different.”

Danielle smiled as she noticed the optimistic look on his face. Neil noticed it as well, but he frowned and shook his head in response.

“So is this girl gonna keep you from coming back home with me?” Neil questioned.

Jackson looked away and shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve been looking at Clark Atlanta and they have a really good accounting program that I wanted to check out.”

Neil made an incomprehensible mumble, but kept a neutral look on his face. He turned his attention toward Danielle, who had been hoping that her father would not question her about her spring break plans. She was not ready to tell him that she was in the process of reuniting Kennedi with her father. She was unsure of what her father’s reaction would be, so she decided that she would leave that out of her answer.

“What about you, princess?” Neil questioned.

Danielle continued to look down at her plate. “I was just planning on hanging out with the girls—Lauren, Bre, and Jayda. We have a few places we wanted to go during the break.”

“You’re not going to work? I’m sure you could use the extra money,” he said.

She nodded her head. “Well, yeah, I’ll be working the morning shift for this week, so I’ll have the afternoons and evenings to spend with my friends.”

“What about Kennedi? Where’s she going to be while you’re with your friends?”

“She’ll be with me,” Danielle replied.

“So if you go to a party, you’re gonna take her with you?” her father questioned.

“No, I’m not tryin’a party like that, but if I go somewhere I can’t take her, I’ll find someone to keep her. I know plenty of people who wouldn’t mind taking her off my hands for a few hours, including Mom.”

“Danni, you can’t just dump your child off on someone else,” Neil chuckled.

Danielle looked up at her father and raised her right eyebrow. “You did.”

The sound of Jackson’s fork dropping to his plate followed Danielle’s curt statement. Danielle watched as her father’s face dropped in surprise. Junior raised his eyes and gazed at Danielle sorrowfully. Even Kennedi was looking at her as if she had done something wrong.

Feeling a sudden surge of guilt, Danielle resumed staring at the half-empty plate in front of her. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I have to go to the bathroom.” She moved from her seat and walked to the restroom.

She stood in front of the mirror positioned over the double-sink countertop and stared at her reflection. She didn’t know what had just come over her. She had forgiven her father. She had told him that she didn’t want any explanations or excuses for his wrongdoing. She didn’t want to hold his mistakes over his head. She wanted to move forward with her own life and not dwell on the past. But here she was, making offhand comments toward her father, whom she had supposedly forgiven. What’s wrong with me? she asked herself.

Danielle turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on her face. As she wiped her face with a paper towel, she hoped that whatever was bothering her about this situation would soon pass. She didn’t want to be angry with her father. She wanted things to be okay between them.

When she walked out of the restroom, she was shocked to find Junior leaning against the wall between the men’s and women’s restrooms. She paused as he stood up straight and looked at her. As she studied him, she noticed that he even shared some of her features—the full lips and broad nose she’d inherited from her father. This is my brother, she told herself as if she was trying to get used to the arrangement.

“I know you don’t like me,” Junior suddenly said softly. “But I really like this family. I don’t want you guys to think I’m tryin’a take Daddy away from you, but I need him, too.” He reached up and wiped underneath both of his eyes as if tears were threatening to emerge from them. “I don’t have nobody else.”

Danielle’s eyes filled with empathetic tears. She realized that she was still apprehensive toward her father because of Junior. He had been the reason behind her parents’ divorce and her strained relationship with Neil. But she was beginning to understand that she couldn’t blame him for everything that had happened. He was just a child, a little boy in need of his father . . . his family. And she was his family.

She sighed and wiped her tears. “I do like you, Junior,” she whispered. “This is just gonna take some getting used to.”

He nodded. “I know.” He stood in place for a moment before moving back toward their table.

Danielle followed him and prayed that God would make this a smooth transition for all of them.