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TWO?
“I wrote on one physical object, a letter. The only other daily reminder I can think of was a photograph, but I didn’t write on it. I didn’t even know anyone had written anything on it until after I returned to the white tower. At best I was only indirectly involved because I was in the photo that Shirlyn took. I expected to be in trouble for the letter, but I had to write it. It was the only way I could try to help Enta prepare Edgar’s elixir. How am I responsible for the photograph when someone else wrote on it?”
I clenched the ice cube box, digging my fingernails into its slippery edges. “What will the TSTA do to me?”
Mom’s next sigh was more of an exasperated huff. “There will be a hearing. The TSTA will consider the consequences of the daily reminders and whether or not they are still in effect. The reason the daily reminder was created cannot be used as a defense. The punishment could be anything from a ban on further time and space travel to millions of dollars in fines. Those who cannot pay may either go to jail or volunteer for a dangerous mission aimed toward finding individuals who are lost. Volunteering for such a mission would put you at an even greater risk of becoming lost yourself.”
My blood pressure dropped again. Everything was finally starting to crumble. Every bad decision I’d made was suddenly being thrown right back in my face. But, it wasn’t my entire fault.
“I guess I’ll just have to explain everything that happened at the hearing and let them decide whose fault it is.” I hoped that the TSTA would at least listen to my side of the story and be fair.
“I’ll look into the situation and see if there’s anything else we can do to convince the TSTA to be lenient. I have to go now. Please stay where you are. Valcas is traveling to you; he’ll be there very soon. If you don’t return here with him then the TSTA will send out one of its own people. That would not reflect well on you at the hearing.”
“But, wait—you didn’t answer my question about whether Valcas is still looking for my father. Where did—”
“Your father has made it quite clear that he prefers not to be found.” Mom’s voice was much less patient than it had been throughout our conversation. “Whether that is because he is lost or dead, I really don’t know, and I refuse to waste additional time and resources on finding the answer.”
“Oh.” I blinked back tears. The shock of Mom’s first frank response on this topic stung deeply.
She softened the blow with another sigh. “Right now, I’m worried about bringing you here safely.”
“How long do I have until Valcas gets here?”
“I have no way of knowing the exact moment. To Valcas it will feel instantaneous, but that’s not what it looks or feels like to the motionless. He left a while ago and is still moving. Please, keep the travel glasses off of your face.”
“Okay.” At least I could stop worrying about where to go next.
“Goodbye, Calla. I look forward to seeing you again soon.”
“Bye.”
Valcas found me as I was trying, with one hand, to close the box that I’d been using to communicate with my mother. My grip on the doorknob was weakening and I could feel myself shaking. He wrapped two arms around me and held me up. His bright jeweled green eyes looked at me, concerned. “Do you need to sit down?”
I nodded. He helped me into a seated position on the floor. Then he glanced at the box the guard had given me to take Mom’s call. “You received bad news?”
“Yes. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough. Just when I think I get what’s going on, everything changes. I have to leave here. I have to appear at a hearing before the TSTA. There are charges against me for breaking TSTA rules.”
I looked up at Valcas. I felt helpless, but also relieved. I’d told him the truth. I had to leave and we would have to say good-bye.
Valcas’ eyes widened. “That is very serious news. Do you need witnesses? I will testify on your behalf.”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure what I’ll need until I get there.”
He squeezed me tightly. “I’ll continue to wait for you, you know. I’ll be right here when you get back. If you need anything from me in the meantime, send a message from TSTA headquarters to me here at the tower.”
He pulled a pen and the photo of us out of his pocket. I watched in awe as he noted on the back of the photograph that I was going to be away for a short period of time. Then he put the pen and photo back in his pocket.
Valcas never stopped finding new ways to amaze me. Past versions of people really were fascinating—their limitations, their feelings, their humanness. It was so easy to pretend that he was real. He was so easy to be with and talk to. I was going to miss him. He deserved a real good-bye, even though this time I knew for sure that he wouldn’t remember it tomorrow morning.
“Valcas, if you could choose one place, anywhere you wanted to go—anywhere at all—where would that be?”
“Anywhere—as long as it was with you.”
“What if I left here, but was somehow still with you?”
“You mean with another version of me in a different place and time?”
“Exactly.”
We looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment. Neither of us smiled. We just sat there looking, waiting.
“Then I would expect that whichever version of me that is with you will be extraordinarily happy.”
“Do you really think it works that way?” I asked. “Is that even possible?”
“I don’t know. I don’t remember ever having been this happy.”
I bit back tears. I couldn’t look at him, knowing that if I did I just might lose the will I had left not to run away again. He grasped both of my hands and pulled me with him up off of the cold white floor. I felt his cheek meet mine as he bent down to hold me. I held on to every last moment of the Valcas not yet affected by the travel glasses, the version that very easily could have contributed to me becoming lost. I knew that I could not spend my future in someone else’s past, with someone who loved me only while I existed in recent memory.
“Valcas, may I see the picture of us again?”
“Of course.” He pulled the photo out of his pocket and held it out to me.
I took the photo from him knowing that I could never give it back. I turned it over to look at what he’d written on the other side. There was the poem that he’d interpreted to mean that we were engaged. Since then he’d added a few details about me—that I liked asking meaningful questions rather than engaging in polite small talk, that I spent a lot of time inside my own thoughts, and that I had a healthy appetite when I was happy. I wrinkled my nose. Everything he said was true, but I didn’t think that he’d captured traits that were particularly interesting or attractive. “These are your observations of me?”
Valcas smiled. “Just a few of my favorites.”
I smiled back. He really had been trying to get to know me—to understand me. He wasn’t kidding when he’d explained what a real friend meant to him. “May I have this? Can I take it with me to the TSTA hearing?” I absolutely had to keep the photo so that it would no longer be a daily reminder of me.
“Yes,” he replied, his bright eyes filled with emotion. “If it will provide you any measure of comfort while you’re gone, then you must keep it.”
“Thanks.”
“So, then, this is good-bye?”
I choked back a sob. Then I nearly choked for real when we were interrupted by loud footsteps combined with shouts echoing through the hallway.