Epilogue

EMPTY DELUSIONS.

Delusions I’d brought upon myself.

And her.

Flooding ripples of pain pulse behind closed eyelids.

Ivory and Ray yell at me.

“Go after her!”

I clench my teeth, unable to watch.

Nausea subsides.

I open my eyes.

Calla is gone.

It’s my fault.

I kissed her. I led her on.

I couldn’t help it.

But it had to end.

She wanted to go back—

To the White Tower.

Impossible.

She doesn’t understand the rules.

It’s not a game.

My shoulder aches.

I ignore Plaka’s grip.

Without success.

I try to resist the calm, but I can’t fight it.

My heartbeat decelerates. My breathing slows.

I am numb.

“You were right to let her go,” he says.

His hand remains on my shoulder.

I nod. We walk.

I look around.

Ray and Ivory are gone too.

“I’ve failed you a second time,” I say.

I rub my eyes, trying to resurrect the pain.

Plaka sighs.

“You haven’t failed me, Valcas.

“You’ve done everything I’ve asked of you.

“Calla is my responsibility now.”

“You will find her, and heal her...

“If she gets lost?”

“And the Uproar?

“Will it be after both of you now?”

Plaka releases my shoulder.

“It may be another of my theories,

“But I suspect the Uproar will be confused,

“Now that I’m out of hiding,

“And Calla’s talent has manifested,

“Its attention may be split.

“If not—” He shrugs.

“Then perhaps the Uproar will direct

“Its full attention to me and to my talent,

“Which is of greater strength.”

Plaka turns from me.

His footsteps fade behind me,

Leaving me time to reflect.

Warmth flickers from deep within my soul,

Sprouting a seed of hope.

Calla may still be safe.

I take in a breath and look around.

The brook absorbs the darkness.

And the darkness obscures the brook.

Calla is gone.

She should have said there was no chance for us.

She should have rejected me first.

I didn’t want to hurt her.

I ball my hands into fists.

It was inevitable.

I had no choice.

I was too convincing.

I shouldn’t have led her on.

Love is an impossibility.

The timeline alone fossilizes that truth.

But there’s more.

Something Calla could never know,

Not as long as I can prevent it.

I step forward,

Following the outline of the brook.

No. I let my guard down.

I let an Earthling find space in my heart.

Time’s irrationality tricked me.

I clamp my jaws.

My chest tightens.

Was it worth it, at least for a short time?

Those moments when I thought Calla could be mine,

And I hers?

Was it worth the pain of knowing

That we could not move forward?

Was it enough that it once was?

Whoever said time heals all wounds

Failed to consider how time also provides

Ample opportunity to incur and inflict new wounds—

Injuries that fester and ache while the earlier wounds fade.

I can’t remember a time when I couldn’t feel new wounds.

And I’m fully aware of the deepest wound,

One that has nothing to do with Calla.

Only Plaka knows what that wound is,

And that I caused it:

The wound of my father’s death.

My mother assumes it was the timeline’s fault.

That the timeline betrayed her love,

Brought her life with my father to an abrupt ending.

Which it would have, anyway.

Had I not also interfered with time.

Time is a constant reminder of my greatest mistake.

The travel glasses hold burned images,

My pair, as well as Calla’s.

Not that I expect her to understand anything

By replaying her copy of my recordings.

I’d recorded a puzzle of emotions,

Times and places.

Now she’s gone.

I have no way of knowing or controlling

Where she goes or what she finds.

Unless I follow her and monitor

Where and when she travels.

I grind my teeth, realizing where I’d gone wrong.

I suggested Ray as a suitable companion,

Hoping Calla would eventually forget about me—

That her anger toward me would dwindle,

And that love for him

Would replace her love for me.

Calla is as stubborn as her father.

And just as unpredictable.

Yet I should have predicted it.

Her newfound strength blinded me.

Made me forget.

Running away was just what she would do.

It’s what her father did

By escaping behind the Fire Falls.

Yes, Calla and Plaka are strong,

But they are also weak.

I fear their weakness.

Almost as much as I fear their strength.

The hairs on my arms and neck stand on end.

My blood boils as reality rips through me.

And the hope I feel burns out.

Almost—

The muscles in my legs tighten.

My feet spring forward.

I pull the travel glasses from my pocket.

I have no idea where Calla went this time,

But I cannot let her stumble upon my greatest mistake.

I have to block her path,

To keep her from finding out the truth.

I slip the travel glasses onto my face.

A new chase is about to begin.

I hope I’m not too late.

I SHUT my notebook, tossing my pen aside. I ripped the travel glasses off my face and rubbed my eyes.

I’d recorded all sensations of the day Calla ran from me in the woods. All of it. Burned them—inside the travel glasses. Just now I’d had the chance to replay my recordings and put those thoughts and feelings into words.

I’d written a poem, something solid to push me forward now that my motivation had nearly run out. I’d never been a worthy poet. It was merely a healing exercise Plaka had suggested that I practice from time to time.

Calla had done a spectacular job of avoiding me these past few months. She’d blocked all communications through the travel glasses. I couldn’t sense her through them. It was as if she didn’t wear them anymore.

How had she disappeared? Was she safe? Lost? I couldn’t find her. Neither could Plaka or the TSTA, including Calla’s mother, Doreen.

After our mission, the TSTA offered Ivory and Ray permanent positions. Ivory returned to her Chauffeur duties, full time instead of on a contract basis. Ray joined an elite intelligence team within the TSTA that supported Special Forces missions. Plaka and I were left to our own devices. The TSTA had no use for rogue travelers like us.

I disagreed with Plaka’s theory that the Uproar’s attention would be split between him and his daughter. I also doubted that it would be more attracted to him now that he’d escaped the Fire Falls.

No. The Uproar would still be after Calla’s younger, fresher blood, filled with the Remnant Transporter talent. Which is why most of my efforts had been toward contacting her rather than traveling to her.

I was a danger to her, now that I was certain the Uproar couldn’t find her without me.