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WHITE LIGHT dazzled my eyes. Shimmered and sparkled. Rays of warmth twisted into spirals. I felt comfort and security lined with the impossible. The corners of my vision began to disintegrate, pixilate. Cartooned images of the stars and moon spun, singing a song common to all worlds and times. Until tunnels of emptiness brought back the aches and pains of Susana, and then filled the edges of light with darkness.
I felt as if I were being pulled toward something. As I drew closer to everything and nothing at all, I heard a sucking sound, followed by a crack and the whisper of wind. The air smelled and tasted of plumples, ripe and fresh, as if freshly picked from Edgar’s garden.
The sounds faded, along with the light. Until there was...
Nothing.
***
WILD GRASSES CRUNCHED beneath my feet as I stomped through overgrown cattails and dodged piles of musty fallen leaves. The air was clean and brisk thanks to the cloudless sky and the freshwater Lake Winston. It smelled of autumn, and that nearly made me gag.
I swallowed back the sick feeling by pumping my legs harder. “Back to school time,” I huffed.
Not for me, though.
Tourist season had ended weeks ago, leaving the lake empty and quiet. Still, there was something about the crisp air and decaying leaves that choked me each time I inhaled.
With the backs of my sleeves I wiped away sweat beads slipping down my forehead and across my brow. I stopped in front of the dock, a weathered brown-gray structure in need of repair and several coats of paint. Rows of sun-scorched irises lay trampled nearby. I wrinkled my nose. Interning at the lake made it my job to dig these out before landscaping the rocky area that would become the new picnic grounds.
As my breathing slowed, I pictured wooden picnic tables encircling a brightly colored jungle gym swarming with children. At least that wouldn’t happen until the spring, after I started my first semester of college. I smiled, my stomach settling at the thought. My back-to-school jitters could take a rain check until then.
I turned away from the dock and bent down to stretch my legs. As I did so, I heard a strange, animal-like sound behind me. The skin on the back of my neck prickled.
I stood up and turned around.
A young man about my age was crouched over, in a runner’s starting pose. The wind blew his hair as he clenched his teeth. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.
Sure enough, when I dropped my hands, he was still there. He looked up, catching me looking at him. Realizing that my mouth hung open, I pressed my lips shut.
He half grinned, and then stared up at the sun for an unusually long period of time.
My hands rested on my hips. “Can I help you?”
“Yes,” he said, removing his sunglasses. “But you should sit down first.”
My breath quickened. His hair was dark, and his eyes were a dazzling green. And his accent, British.
The request to sit down confused me, but I knew it made sense—that there was a good reason to listen to him. I felt like I could trust him, but I was sweaty and gross from my run. I didn’t want to sit down, even though he still hadn’t stood up from his position on the ground.
“Why do we need to—?”
Tremors tore through the ground below me. The earth rumbled and groaned. I felt myself falling backward, being pulled to the ground. My arms flailed as my body twisted and I landed on my hip.
I felt a pressure on my shoulder. A squeezing. A pinch.
And then more shaking.
“Calla, wake up.”
My eyes fluttered open; I willed them to focus. I sucked in breaths of air as if I’d never get enough oxygen. I pressed my hand to my forehead, and then grimaced as it slipped across, slick and wet.
I looked up, trying to focus on something other than the purple light that gleamed at the corners of my vision. “Valcas?”
A face came into view. Dark blue eyes stared back at me. “Are you okay?” said Ray, his voice soothing. He wore a white lab coat.
“What happened? Where am I?”
Ray pressed a hand to my cheek. “You’re outside the Clock Tower. Valcas got up a while ago, told us you were still fast asleep. That must have been some dream you were having.”
A dream. No, not just a dream, an obsession. For whatever reason, what I’d wanted to happen between me and Valcas showed itself to me overnight. It had felt so real, so possible... And, yet, so wrong.
My forehead cooled as my heartbeat slowed. I pulled myself up from the ground. “What’s with the lab coat?”
“Oh, this,” Ray said, patting down fabric that was already smooth and wrinkle-free. “I’m taking Lily home today. This is the only spare jacket Nick had—not sure where he got it, but he wanted me to have it for our journey. All my other clothes—”
“Are back at the TSTA.” I stared at the ground for an uncomfortably long moment. “So, this is good-bye?”
He bowed his head. A sad smile formed above his chin. “There’s nothing else I can do to help here. I need to find another job; I couldn’t go back to the TSTA anyway—not after hearing about what they’ve done and not the way it’s being run by President Bree. Lily and I have family scattered about. We’ll find someone.”
“Makes sense,” I said, avoiding his eyes. “Thanks again, Ray, for everything.”
“And Lily needs me,” he added, hastily. “You and Valcas—”
“We’ll have each other for as long as we can, I guess.”
“Yeah. Well, thanks again, Calla. It’s been a pleasure working with you and getting to know you as a friend.” He gave me brotherly hug, just as the door to the Clock Tower opened.
Lily’s head peeked out behind the door before she glided toward us. “Good morning, Calla. It looks like Ray told you we’re going back home.”
I met her halfway and pulled her into a hug. “Yes,” I said, looking into her gentle face. “I’ll miss you.”
“We’ll miss you too,” she said, her eyes connecting with Ray’s.
Out of nowhere, my lips started to tremble. As much as I didn’t want to melt down in front of Lily, I blurted, “Ray, before you go, tell me something, please. Tell me what you saw, if anything, inside the travel glasses. Tell me that I’m a horrible person for making you do that. I want to hear something brutal and honest.”
Ray worked his jaw before answering. “I could see your memories, but not Valcas’.” His cheeks tinted with color as his eyes flickered between mine and Lily’s.
I frowned in apology.
“That means,” he continued, “that in order to do what you requested, I would’ve had to change your memories. I couldn’t access his. Calla, I could see how you felt about him; I could feel it too—”
My face burned. “I’m so sorry I asked you to try. It was stupid and unfair.”
He held up a hand. “Please don’t worry about it.” He gave me his boyish grin. “I was curious. You never know until you try. And what I saw there left me certain.”
Ray’s admission gave me pause. I stood there, trying to figure out if his words had a double meaning—whether he was referring to the potential for an Overwrite or my feelings for Valcas. Either way, I didn’t want to bother him any longer. He would get on with his life; and I hoped it would be a happy one.
Shortly afterward, Nick emerged from the Clock Tower. Pockets of hair were still missing from his scalp. He walked with a limp. Bandaged hands swung from the ends of his arms, making them appear thicker than they were. “Are you ready to port home, friends?”
“We are,” said Ray, wrapping his arm around his sister. “I hope to see you again soon, Calla.”
“Me too. Have a safe trip.” I waved as I watched them climb the Clock Tower.
Clocks and hourglasses glowed and faded as Nick skimmed by them. I was surprised they lit up given that his hands were covered in bandages. He stopped, with Ray and Lily close behind, before a globe. Six golden arrows twisted around it—two that looked like watch hands and four that could have been points on a compass.
Nick’s hand hovered above the globe. Blue and green sparks crackled from the timepiece to his hand as the ball brightened. Clouds swirled around the globe, dizzying me until I couldn’t distinguish whether it was the ball or the clouds that spun. Popping and buzzing sounds intensified.
“It’s ready,” said Nick. “Join together.” He rested his hand on the globe. He flinched as sparks enveloped his hand and arm, covering his entire body before spreading across Ray and Lily. The purple sky flickered, reflecting the light from the scene below.
A breath later, they were gone—vaporized, just like my dream.
My dream. It had been real and surreal at the same time. I could imagine a world where Valcas was born on Earth and we became normal friends living normal lives. The fact that I couldn’t create it killed me. But I also didn’t want to lose the memories I’d made with him. Adding memories in the form of a Daily Reminder was bad enough. Deleting others’ experiences and feelings had to be far worse.
My life—my journey—had been meaningful. Too meaningful to give up for anyone, including Valcas.
I walked alone, underneath the purple sky, until Nick returned from transporting Ray and Lily, seemingly surprised that I was still outside, waiting.
Silently, together, we entered the Clock Tower.