Eating cookies like Cookie Monster

It sure is a sign of gluttonous satisfaction when you find yourself home alone, slouching on the couch in front of the TV with your eyes half open, a steady trail of cookie crumbs making its way from your mouth onto your shirt and pants, chocolate smears on your lips and fingers, and the telltale cookie package lying beside you, the plastic tray peeled all the way out of the bag, entire rows lying vacant except for a bit of brown dust and maybe a rogue chocolate chip or two.

Yes, it’s satisfying alright, because many delicious cookies were eaten, without witnesses, in a very quick and steady stream by shoving them into your mouth, chewing a few times, and then swallowing quickly to make room for the next one. You’re a monster and you love it.

Eating cookies like Cookie Monster is great because, more than anything, it represents freedom. Yes, free thought takes you to the pantry, free will makes you grab that cookie package, and free reruns keep you company while you sit down and enjoy. You’re the Executive Chef in your personal Dessert Kitchen here. Just tell me that’s not liberating.

I mean, sure, we all know it’s not the greatest idea to eat a pile of cookies just before bed, but that’s not the point. The point is: You can do it. Yes, you’ve come a long way from the portion-controlled snacks you got when you were a kid, maybe two cookies on a small plate with a tall glass of milk that just whet your appetite for more. Now it’s all you all the time, baby. Nobody is going to stop you except you. You can eat a whole row. You can eat two whole rows. You can plow them in there. You can savor them slowly. The point is it’s such a great feeling to scarf cookies with abandon like Cookie Monster.

Truly, he is the role model for us all.

AWESOME!