My friend Peter has a theory.
We were chatting one day when he mentioned he only does housework when his girlfriend isn’t home. I thought it was a bit strange but Peter patiently broke it down for me in three big points:
1. Hugs and kisses. When his girlfriend shows up after a long day with her bangs sweat-glued to her forehead, she’s not always in a great mood. But when she notices all the rock-hard tomato stains scraped off the stovetop and the telltale blue-tinged hint of fresh toilet bowl, her mood cheers right up and Peter scores some love.
2. Ditch the guilt. Then there’s the big problem with cleaning up when your roommate, boyfriend, or wife is lying on the couch. While you’re straightening magazines and vacuuming in front of them, they feel guilty for chilling out. Forget the hugs—this time you’re scoring a big sigh, some lazy stinkeye, and a half-assed helper.
3. Mr. Perfect sightings. Okay, my place is a mess. Sometimes I fall asleep on dirty clothes, use my dryer as a dresser, and leave macaroni-and-cheese dishes in the sink for days. Peter’s not as bad as me, but he’s no Mr. Perfect either. But see, that’s just it—the beauty of his plan is that he gives his girlfriend a chance to dream about her boyfriend cleaning all day. Sure, the truth is that he was probably stuck in Tube World in Super Mario 3 for most of the afternoon, but those clean countertops, spotless mirrors, and fresh vacuum streaks give her hope.
Showing up after a long day to a freshly cleaned place is such a great feeling. Toilet paper has replaced the Kleenex in the bathroom and the rat-sized dust balls behind the TV have been whisked away. Now you get to enjoy an evening with someone you love in a sparkly new joint.
Or, if they’re out right now, maybe go make the bed.