The Book of Even More Awesome

Placing the last piece of the puzzle

I don’t have the patience for puzzles.

If someone walks into the room shaking a big 500-piece box with a photo of a gray boulder balanced on a gray cliff, then I’m not having it.

Okay, I might help you find the corner pieces or start the first edge, but that’s it. After it gets into the no-man’s-land of middle pieces, and people start making stack-piles of colors, passing around the box top and squinting, and silently trying to clip piece after piece after piece together, well, I just can’t take it anymore.

When everybody crowds around the coffee table, I start sulking and retreat to the couch where I occupy myself with productive jobs such as piling all the coasters, finger-dragging the crumbs out the side of the cushions, or trying to eat a potato chip without chewing it, which is actually much more difficult than it sounds.

This is why it’s so great when someone finally places the last piece of the puzzle.

There’s usually giddy anticipation as the pace quickens toward the finale. All fingers get into the game, attaching the two giant puzzle chunks together, and then someone finally drops in that one piece we all knew was here somewhere with the other half of the bird’s wing on it.

Hey, the last piece of the puzzle is great because it means you have the last piece of the puzzle. Let’s not overlook this fact. After all, who among us hasn’t picked up a cheapo garage sale special only to discover it was four pieces short when you were putting it together? Talk about a buzz kill.

Secondly, it means you finally get to see the big picture. Up until that point it’s all poking, prodding, and passing around the dog-eared box top, but now we’ve got a poster. Some people mount these things and stick them on a wall. Nothing wrong with that.

Lastly, there is a thick and heady sense of smoking satisfaction in the air. Even though I’m probably spilling a tall glass of wine and flipping past infomercials at this point, even I can feel it. The gang all pitched in, helped out, and accomplished the big mission together.

Now the party can really get nuts.