This is actually a true story. Chocolate milk on tap convinced Chad to ditch his job and head down the highway the following year. Chocolate milk on tap changed his life because
is great. Let’s count down some killer classics:
• Slurpees. Flip the switch sideways and let the crystal cola slide smoothly into your cup like a snake. For bonus points, mix and match flavors until your drink looks like the surface of Jupiter.
• Brown soda aka Swamp Water. Did you ever get behind an open bar at a wedding when you were a kid? If you remember mixing tall glasses of fountain Coke, Sprite, and root beer into a delightfully tangy swill, then you had a great childhood.
• Beer at a keg party. Forget the bottles and cans for a night. Now it’s time for some foamy pumping. If you’re the one guy who actually knows how to tap the keg, then you’re the official dude responsible for keeping everyone else’s red plastic cup full.
• Maple syrup. Just toss on your hiking boots in the dead of winter, walk silently to the middle of the forest, and tap that tree to get it done, son. It’s time to get sticky. (Note: May require hours of boiling.)
• Soft-serve ice cream. Don’t you love it when your local buffet has a soft-serve ice cream machine sitting right in the open? You can squeeze a little swirl into your warm, plastic wet-from-the-dishwasher bowl, or go cowboy and build the tallest, swirliest ice cream known to man.
• Water. If you’ve got a drink in the kitchen, clean hands in the bathroom, and a hot shower in the tub, then today’s your day to say thanks.
• Condiment pumps. Pump that watery ketchup and watch out for unexpected mustard opportunities.
• The hot chocolate machine at a camp, cabin, or chalet. Let the good stuff pour out and let’s curl by the fire in thick wool sweaters under big poofy blankets.
• Nacho cheese at the corner store. Now, here’s the heaviest hitter of all. When you swirl your salty nachos under that hot pump of oozing cheese, you’re in for a good night.