Chapter 6

Heather’s Letters Blog Entry

Draft: September 2nd

They all want an apology. No. Worse than that—they want blood! The only positive thing I can say about today is that it’s Friday. I have a merciful two days before I have to return to that school. In that time I hope I find the courage to go back. My hand is shaking as I type. My feelings are rushing around my head like a tumultuous ocean. I can’t make sense of them.

Breathe, Heather. Breathe.

Now. What would I write if I were going to post this for the entire world to see?

 

Heather’s Letters Earns Prestigious Award?

Heather’s Letters Outcasts its Author?

Girl Ruins Her Own Life?

 

I’ve probably just earned entry into the college of my choice. No high school student ever earns the “Excellence in Journalism” award. And here I’ve done it.

But at what cost?

Can I really live like this? Alone—isolated from all the goings-on of a high school junior? And isolated from Adam? Ostracized and hated by all the other kids? Is there even a single person at that school who doesn’t hate me?

And what about next year, senior year, supposedly the best year in all of high school?

But the deed has been done… what am I supposed to do, transfer? Crawl into a hole and die?

I don’t even know what to do with myself. I’ve disabled the wireless feature on my laptop because the temptation is too great. My phone’s been off since the assembly, and I’m too scared to turn it on.

I know I shouldn’t look. I shouldn’t check. But I’ll have to find out sooner or later, right? All those social networks, all those comments, all those status updates. I wonder how many of them are directed at me… and that haunted trophy glaring at me from my backpack.

I want to turn on my laptop’s wireless card and check. I want to check.

No—I refuse!