Chapter 35

Heather’s Letters Blog Entry

Draft: October 24th

We’ve done it. Mom is on board, and so are Adam’s parents. The paperwork has been submitted to Guidance, and all has been set in motion: Adam and I will be attending Hawthorne Academy starting with the second marking period. That leaves me about a week at Orchard Valley. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t even wait that long. I’m so done with this high school and its petty nonsense.

But I can wait. I had sort of a long talk with Mom. She agreed that I should transfer, but I don’t think she understands. Not really. She wants me to transfer so I can start over and have a shot at being as popular as she was. She told me she’s “glad I learned my lesson” and “won’t be breaking the status quo anymore.” But I can’t just give up like that. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to turn a blind eye to something I think is wrong. Mom just can’t understand it.

We called Dad to tell him about my decision. He was not happy. He said I’m doing myself a disservice. He says I won’t find what I’m looking for at my new school. I didn’t even get to explain it to him, though, because the whole conversation quickly degenerated into an argument between Mom and Dad, so I hung up the phone and went to my room.

In a way I was relieved, though. I’m not sure I would have been able to articulate my decision in a way Dad could understand—or be proud of. I can’t explain it here, either. I mean, I keep thinking about what Ruby said: is this just running away? Are Adam and I escaping so we don’t have to face the truth? I wonder what Dad would say if I could talk to him without Mom around.

Still, I need to think about myself sometimes. I just need to get away from all the negative energy at Orchard Valley. And even if I am running away, the decision can’t be all bad. I mean, it’s changed my mood: knowing there will be an end to all the torment I’ve had to deal with has made everything more bearable. Nothing anyone can say or do can bring me down any longer. All the cold looks bounce off my scar and can’t penetrate my consciousness. I’m not wearing any makeup. I haven’t since that night with Adam. Why should I? Give everyone what they want to see one last time. Before they know it, I’ll be gone. And knowing that makes me feel like a soaring bird.

Adam is happy, too. According to Mr. Wallace, we have to stay at Orchard Valley long enough to finish out the first quarter. We don’t have a choice, and this is perfect for Adam. The first quarter ends with October, and Homecoming is scheduled for Saturday, October 29. So Adam gets to—has to—stay on as the Thunderbolts’ quarterback until then. One last big game for Orchard Valley’s star.

So he’ll get to play at Homecoming after all.

If it were up to me, though, we’d both leave now. I’m so anxious about all of this for some reason. And Burton seems to be creeping about all the time, always peering in through my windows. He seems to know something’s up. It’ll be nice not to live so close to such a person!

Yes, I wish I were leaving tomorrow.

Unless, of course, Adam decided to ask me to Homecoming Dance. Then I could stay here for a million years.

Almost gone,

Heather