The next one does not involve the human kind but another type of funny looking and truly annoying cage animals that live in our backyard.
You might be asking why I am taking my emotions out on them? I am all for animal friends, but unfortunately I do not consider these poultry animals my friends.
Not only is their cackle going on my nerves, but I am also losing some valuable sleep over their loud screaming in the morning.
My family is thinking that fresh and natural laid eggs are more healthy and good for them. I am thinking that they are over-rating this green health trend to an extremely exaggerated limit.
After all the world did not come down in December of 2012 like Nostradamus predicted.
This whole hen, chicken, and rooster situation in the backyard is completely unnecessary.
I am thinking that this nonsense is only benefitting one kind of human being.
I do not believe these "green world" type of business men. They are painting the whole world in dark colors to create fear, horror, and panic.
People like Mom and Dad are believing in these nonsense type "green finger products".
These are the same kind of business men who are inventing these ridiculous end of the world, survival, and off the grid type products like how to raise chickens in the backyard, how to make one's own electricity,
how to grow one's own tangy tomatoes, how to build one's own cave, how to can food, and all these other crappy self sufficient type of products that do not work.
My family believes in these crappy systems. Dad has spent a small fortune on these scams and his hard drive is full of survival type stuff.
I just can't believe how naive and stubborn Dad can be.
Instead of buying some quality dog food for me, Dad is just wasting everybody's time and his money.
Anyways, I do not want to boar you with these crappy nonsense products. I am just pissed off at Dad and his buying decisions.
Don't get me wrong I still love Dad and Mom, and I am praying for them because I am sure that one day they will find out the truth about these world ending and green energy scams.
Who wants to raise their own chickens in a world where everything is available at a push of a button?
Wake up family we are in the year 2013!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha - We are in 2012 and Mom and Dad are still raising chickens. What a joke!
Let's talk about change because my world does not include a ridiculous chicken coop or raising chickens and taste fresh nest eggs.
Seriously, the chicken and hen house situation is getting more and more ridiculous every day.
I do not give my seal of approval for this madness.
I will show you how I go about defending my rights like getting more sleep!
If your family is keeping other types of animals that live in cages like hamsters, rats, gerbils, mice, guinea
pigs, chinchillas, rabbits, ferrets, parakeets, iguanas, or cockatiels, you can primarily go ahead and apply the same strategies that I am going to show you here.
Don't you hate it when the poultry is waking you up in the middle of the night to say good morning? Who needs an egg at 5 o'clock in the morning?
Excuse me, but this backwards world has not a flying chance in my world.
I will now proceed to explain to you what you can do to stop the crazy chickens.
Slowly approach the chicken coop without raising too much suspicion because nobody should find out about your plans to gasify the chickens in the chicken coop.
As the chickens and hens and roosters are running around inside and outside of their chicken coop, find a nearby place to hide
Get yourself into the gas eruption in the chicken coop position.
The usual procedure applies. Wait until your tummy is full of gassy air. When you can not hold it anymore,
stick your gassy bottom into the chicken coop and release the pressure into a whommmming expressive sound that ends up in a gas eruption in the chicken coop.
Next, you will notice the chickens go wild because they are having the time of their life!
This gas eruption is even funnier if you launch the gas cloud into the chicken coop when all the chickens are still inside.
I hope no chicken gets a heart attack from the gas eruption in the chicken coop.
I truly enjoy this excited heap of chicken. The chickens are running around in pure confusion, bumping into each other and fainting.
This gas eruption in the chicken coop has been highly effective, and my gassy vapour style cloud has truly
infested their ground.
I am truly enjoying myself by watching the development of the gas eruption in the chicken coop because it truly has a powerful effect on the crazy chickens.
Yeah, this gasification has been successful!
I have done my work to my fullest satisfaction, and hopefully I can go back to sleep.
I am sure that one day my family will understand my philosophy because raising chickens is such a waste of energy and time.
My time is better spent with some subtle lazy sleep and other fun activities like going to the zoo and watching the true exotic animals.
Chickens are just for wussies, and I hope my family will get my point sooner or later.
I am hoping that a gassified chicken is not able to lay too many fresh eggs.
I know that I still have lots of development work to do, and I am following the saying of Buddha
the Zen Master who said: "The path is the goal."
I honestly hope Mom and Dad get the idea that raising chickens is a time waster.
Chickens in the backyard do not have my seal of approval in any case.
As mentioned above, if your family keeps these weird types of cage animals like slimy snails, rats, and hamsters, you can apply the the same strategy.
You can change the name to the gas eruption in the snail house, gas eruption in the bird cage, gas eruption in the rat cage, or something similar.
The eruption in the chicken coop is applicable to all kinds of annoying cage animals.
I hope this one is helping you out because only a well rested dog is a well behaved dog!
Do remember my philosphy and take the liberty to release your gassy air at anything around you that you do not approve of.
See you on the next episode.
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