Don't you just love it when your family is having a blast in the pool after a nice lunch? They are having a blast and you are not invited!
Here is what happened before the splash in the pool.
The delivery boy has delivered a big nice package for Mom's birthday. The whole family is thrilled about this enormous and weird plastic smelling package from uncle Karl who by the way always sends these unpractical and ridiculous gifts for Mom's birthday.
What is in the package?
A colossal plastic smelling inflatable pool that no one in their right mind buys these days.
Dad would certainly not have bought this chemical bomb because he likes the green finger.
Hey, this is just a gift and it is free so nobody is protesting in our family.
Yes, this is my family. They genuinely mean well, but in the end they are not looking at the bigger picture.
Now they are all just waiting for Dad to come home early from work today. He is allowed to come home early today because it is Mom's birthday.
Heck, I can already smell him running through the front door in his sweaty checkered shirt that he has been wearing for the last couple of days because he is trying out some new transpiration and weight loss sweat
method.
I am thinking a better weight loss method would be to skip the bean soup and work out more.
It is gross to perfume the air with stinky sweat and I do not believe that anyone can lose weight by sweating! What a joke and Dad believes these weirdo weight loss scams?
Anyway, with Dad in the room they are complete and decide to inflate the new pool right away and right next to the side of the house, far away from the chicken dumpster. Good idea, by the way!
Dad, Timmie, and Susie are blowing air into the pool and in the traditional way. After a while, they figure out that they could use the help of the pump that is included in the package in order to inflate the plastic pool in a quicker way.
It is now time to fill it up with delicate fresh water and to have a pleasant refreshing splash in the
pool - family style!
Mom is protesting because she does not want her new ridiculous birthday hair-style fresh from the hair dresser get wet, but they finally convince her to get inside the pool.
I would have said yes without the trouble, but as usual they are ignoring me!
It looks like they have never been in a pool before, judging by their freaky behavior and roaring sound.
I am seriously starting to get pissed off as I am gazing over at this freaky group of fools that I call my family because nobody seems to invite me.
Finally, I am deciding to participate in the action without being invited.
Heck, I did not approve of this plastic fantastic smelling pool in the first place, but I somehow need to get into the pool to prepare my revenge.
I guess it is action time, and I want to show them yet another of my surprises.
I am jumping into the cool wet all by myself because they keep ignoring me.
As I am jumping into the pool, Mom is screaming. She probably does not know that I can swim.
Dad wants me out of the water like right now, but I am going to stay.
At that point, everybody is screaming like wild and water is splashing around everywhere.
I am thinking what a ridiculous bunch of weirdos, and I am mentally getting prepared for my revenge, the stinky tsunami style!
I mean c'mon? Dad is worried about hygiene?
I have never smelled fresher in my life because Mom gave me a lovely bath this morning.
The one who truly should be worried about hygiene is Dad himself because he is the one who smells like he has not used the shower for ages.
Each time he is coming home from work he is sweating like a pig and he is only wearing this ridiculous checkered Canadian wood shirt. I guess this shirt was delivered with the sweating weight loss technique
that he is trying out!
Anyway, this is a story for another episode. Let's talk about the stinky tsunami.
I am rolling out my plan right now and right here and inside the pool!
I am putting myself into the stinky tsunami position, and I am holding onto the handle of the pool. I am turning my back towards the screaming crowd.
I am already feeling the gassy air rumbling in my tummy, and I am extremely happy that I had some beans for lunch because doing this exercise in the water is not as easy as on the ground.
Finally as the screaming of my folks gets unbearable weird and noisy, I am able to produce the most effective poop fart and air water whirler ever!
I am exceedingly proud of the stinky tsunami. As the air gets pushed out into the water, it produces a highly explosive and stinky underwater air cloud. As I am releasing my gassy air into the water, the pressure immediately transforms the air into a hydrogen water bomb, causing a very unpleasant smelling and dangerously looking wave that turns into one hell of a stinky tsunami.
I seriously underestimated the bean effect in the water. I also underestimated the powerful air pressure that turned the air into a dangerous hydrogen bomb.
Pure magic and one can compare the stinky tsunami with the butterfly effect: little cause and wicked effect!
Anyway, my family is still enjoying the pool, and they do not seem to notice the dangerous wave that is building up and coming towards them.
Suddenly, Dad gets aware of the situation. As the wave is coming towards them and as it develops into a mass of water, he is screaming: "Attention a huge wave is coming at us!"
Finally the stinky tsunami is reaching Mom, Dad, and Timmie. They are screaming in terror.
I am seeing their heads spinning and whirling around in the roaring water.
I am the laughing one right now because my head sticks out of the water and my side of the pool has not been touched by this stinking water explosion!
The water is pushing them under water, and Dad the scout-boy manages to save them all.
I guess this is the stinkiest tsunami that has ever hit a pool in this part of town!
I hope that I have given them a good lesson today.
It is not a cool thing to ban a puppy from the pool.
I do not regret the splash in the pool, and I am having a blasting old time!
Who knows how long this pool is going to hold up the water without the first whole, so I am enjoying myself while I still can!
One of my puppy friends told me this story.
Beaner Wiener, my puppy friend had a weird family. Beaner Wiener's family only enjoyed their inflatable pool for one afternoon because somebody made a hole into the pool during the night to freak them out.
This family took intensive action and almost worked themselves to death just to be able to buy a traditional pool like the normal people have.
Finally, when they inaugurated their brand new pool, built out of concrete this time, they had to witness
another type of pool accident.
What happened to them?
Their puppy, Beaner Wiener, loved beans very much. Beaner Wiener had too many beans right before getting into the new pool.
By accident, Beaner Wiener's tummy produced too much air power into the water. Beaner Wiener accidentally produced a true nitrogen water bomb that was too powerful for the size of this pool.
Can you imagine! A colossal flood of water was pushed in the stinky tsunami style out of the pool. The masses of water flooded their lovely home.
Their beautiful home was turned into sea world overnight!
Never eat too many beans before getting into the pool because you might end up setting your family's house under water like Beaner Wiener did!
Always check out the size of the pool first and remember that you do not want to take it to the extreme level like the hydra water bomb blowing puppy, Beaner Wiener!
Can you imagine?
A Hydrogen Bomb Bean Blowing Puppy named Beaner Wiener that set the house under water and turned it into sea world - Hahahahahahahaha!
A nearby neighbor that witnessed this catastrophe called 911 to get some help from the fire department.
Beaner Wiener undoubtedly caused his family a serious pain because explaining the case to the responsible fire man was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to Beaner Wiener's Dad.
Anyway, the strong firemen pumped out the water and saved Beaner Wiener and his family.
Today Beaner Wiener's family still enjoys the pool, but they were lucky not to get drowned by Beaner Wiener's stinky tsunami fountain wave.
The fire department arrived in time and quickly pumped out the flood.
They truly were lucky, and Beaner Wiener totally regretted this accident until today and has never ever touched the pool again.
I guess his obsession for beans makes swimming an impossible activity.
Take my advice and do not overdo your bean meals!
In my case, my family did not get suspicious because they figured that the pool was too small to hold all of us, and I totally got away with it.
Anyway, one good thing came from this whole stinky water tsunami situation.
Right then and right there, Dad the hero decided to work even harder in order to earn a traditional pool like normal people have.
This is fantastic news for me, and I like the sound of it: more work, getting a traditional pool for more splashing water fun, and having lots of fun days in the pool ahead of me.
I feel real good about my achievement today because I learned one crucial thing: small cause and enormous effect. This is the type of thinking that I do understand!
I told you that it is hard to please me. I am famous for blowing my air on things that I do not approve
of - over and under water!
I guess Dad got my message, and now we are getting a traditional and normal sized pool.
See you on the next one!
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