23

OCTOBER 1935

Gwyn twisted yet another handkerchief in her hands. She hadn’t seen her father in two days. The group gathered outside of the hospital was discussing where they would search next. Ten different search parties had looked for her father. But they hadn’t found him. Her worst fears played out in her mind. What if they did find him . . . and he was dead? What would she do?

No. She couldn’t allow her thoughts to take her to that dark place. She needed to place it all in the Lord’s hands and leave it there.

She walked closer to the group.

“You must admit that Dr. Vaughan is acting very strange.” Clarence bounced on his toes as he spoke with Don Irwin.

Mr. Irwin frowned at Clarence. “Wouldn’t you act different if you’d lost someone close to you?”

“Humph. He was the last one to see Dr. Hillerman alive. He even admits that, like it somehow frees him from suspicion.” The accusation was unspoken in the undertones of sarcasm.

“I think our time is best served looking for Dr. Hillerman, not speculating.”

Clarence looked at Gwyn. His expression changed. Apparently he realized she’d heard the whole thing. Now his voice sounded sympathetic. “Yes, of course, Mr. Irwin.” He held her gaze. “Of course.”

“Group six!” Stewart Campbell yelled over everyone. “You’ll need to search the next half mile of banks along the river. Group eight posted a flag where they left off.”

The last two groups left, Clarence among them. Gwyn wasn’t sure she was relieved or angry. The man had no right to talk about Jeremiah that way. She saw the hateful looks Clarence sent toward the man she loved. And even though Jeremiah had been the last one to see her father, she knew in her heart that he had nothing to do with her father’s disappearance.

But Jeremiah had barely spoken to her. He seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Then Clarence’s words sank into her mind. “He was the last one to see Dr. Hillerman alive.”

Could it be true? Did everyone assume that her father was dead?

The rustle of footsteps on the fallen leaves broke her thoughts. Nasnana handed her a cup of tea. “Here, let’s go back inside, dear.”

“Thank you.” Gwyn followed the older woman into the building. Around her were cots and curtains and medical paraphernalia. This hospital had been her father’s dream for years. And here it was, serving the people.

He should be here.

She walked from bed to bed. Little reminders of her father were everywhere. Oh, Lord, I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid the worst has happened. Please show me how to rely on you, Father. And please keep my father safe. Thy will be done.

Yelling reached her ears through the window. And then more voices added to the cacophony. Nasnana was at her side and grabbed her hand.

Gwyn pulled her friend out the door with her. Her hand shot to her mouth.

Mr. Bouwens was carrying her father’s limp form.

As the group approached, the crowd grew. The fire bell rang.

More people came running.

They came closer.

“No!” The scream left her lips, and she sank to the ground.

Jeremiah ran to her side. “I’m so sorry, Gwyn. I’m so—”

“I demand that you remove this man and take him into custody.” Clarence had a wild look in his eyes. He’d dragged Mr. Carr and Mr. Irwin with him. “He admitted that he was with Dr. Hillerman in the middle of the night—the night he disappeared. And we have the testimony of the Gray boy who was in the hospital that night. He heard them arguing.”

“We weren’t arguing.” Jeremiah’s voice broke. “We were discussing some important matters.”

“Matters that enraged you and caused you to take the situation into your own hands! When are we going to learn the truth, Dr. Vaughan?”

“That’s enough!” Mr. Carr pushed Clarence back. “The authorities are on their way.” He held up his hands. “I need everyone to move back, please.” He turned to Gwyn. “I’m so sorry about your father. He was one of the best men I’ve ever met.”

Gwyn nodded. The shock of seeing her father’s lifeless form in front of her caused her stomach to ache and her head to spin. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.

Dr. Albrecht appeared. “I’d like your permission to examine the body.”

She nodded again. Mr. Irwin was saying something to the other doctor.

“We need to get her inside—”

Was that Jeremiah’s voice? Black spots danced in front of her eyes. All the sound around her turned into a deafening roar. And then nothing.

Someone pinched her arm. Hard. Her eyes flew open. Nasnana was bent over her. “There you are.” The lines around her eyes crinkled.

“My father—” She didn’t want to say the words. “Is he? Is he dead?”

The dark eyes deepened and pooled with tears. “Yes, my child. I’m sorry. Your father’s gone on to be with the Lord.”

“How can this be? Oh, Nasnana, what will I do without him?” Gwyn’s sobs filled the air. She needed more time with him. They were going to have more time once the houses were built and the people were settled. “I can’t bear this alone.”

“Child, no one is asking you to.” Nasnana stroked her hair.

They would bury Harold Hillerman tomorrow. Nasnana couldn’t believe the man she’d known all these years was really gone.

Rose Benson sat next to Gwyn on the couch in the Hillerman home. It was Rose’s turn to be the comforter. Even after months of heartbreak and pain, the rosy cheeks of the new child of God attested to His goodness, even in the midst of all their sorrow. Rose had one hand on her growing belly and one hand in Gwyn’s.

Rose started humming. The sound swelled through the room, and then her voice lifted in song:

“’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just to take Him at His Word . . .”

Sadzi and Nasnana joined in.

“Just to rest upon His promise,

Just to know, ‘Thus saith the Lord!’

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!

How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er!

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!

O for grace to trust Him more!”

Tears ran down Gwyn’s cheeks. Nasnana moved forward and knelt in front of this precious girl and wiped them away with her hands. “We will rest in His promise, won’t we, child?”

Gwyn nodded again and again. “I somehow have to let Mother and Sophia know.”

“I know, child. I wrote them a letter already.”

“Thank you.” Her blond head dipped again.

“We will trust Him, child. And even in the midst of all this hardship, with the worry for what your mother or sister will do, and when your world feels upside down, we will trust Him.”

Gwyn closed her eyes and bit her lip. She continued to nod.

Rose started another verse, her voice soothing, sad:

“I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,

Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;

And I know that Thou art with me,

Wilt be with me to the end.”

Gwyn opened her eyes. “I love that hymn. And so did my father.” Her bottom lip trembled, but she kept going. “Thank you for sharing that, Rose.”

“I sang it because your father was the first one to tell me about it. He told me that the woman who wrote the words had just lost her husband too. Even after that, she was without a husband, had a little daughter, and they became destitute. But she still trusted Jesus.”

Rose looked at Nasnana. “He visited every day and brought me letters from Nasnana. They wouldn’t leave me alone. Wouldn’t let me lie in bed and die along with those I’d lost. Told me that God had a purpose for me. So I got out of bed one day and went to see Reverend Bingle. I asked him if he had a copy of that hymn, and he gave me a songbook. I took it home and memorized it. Whenever I get low, I sing it.”

More tears streamed down Gwyn’s face. She hugged Rose. “Thank you. I know my father would want me not to mourn. He’d want me to celebrate that he’s with Jesus. But it’s hard to think of life without him. I don’t even know how to work at the hospital without him. He’s the one who trained me. Guided me. Taught me everything I know. And not just about medicine.” She sniffed.

“I always thought my father would be here when I got married and had children. . . .” A sob overtook her. Then she straightened and sucked in a breath. “But I know that God’s will is not our will. His ways are not our ways. I want to find joy in this. I do. But it’s really hard.” Gwyn turned her head and sobbed into Rose’s shoulder.

Nasnana motioned for Sadzi to help her up. “These old bones don’t like the floor anymore. This past summer seems to have aged me ten years.”

When Nasnana was back in a chair, she closed her eyes. Gwyn needed a few minutes. “Sadzi, would you bring me my Bible?” Nasnana said. “It’s in my basket by the door.”

“Here it is, Grandmother.”

“This morning—” she flipped through the onionskin pages that had been well read and were well worn—“I was reading in Job.” She settled on the right spot.

“The story of Job fascinates me. Here’s a man of God, upright and wealthy. When Satan goes to God and basically says that the only reason Job is upright is because God has placed a hedge about him and blessed him, then God allows Satan to strip all of Job’s family and wealth away.

“And you know what Job says? He says, ‘Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.’

“But that just riles old Satan up some more. So he goes back to God and tells Him the only reason Job is still upright is because he’s still got his health. So God once again allows Satan to hurt Job, but He won’t allow Satan to kill him.

“So now we have poor Job, who’s lost all his children and his wealth, covered with boils from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. His wife tells him to curse God and die. But what does Job say? He says, ‘Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?’ In Job chapter two we read, ‘In all this did not Job sin with his lips.’”

Rose leaned as far forward as her belly would allow. “What happened after that?”

“Then to compound things, Job has three wonderful friends come to visit him. They even sit in silence with him for seven whole days.”

“Wow. Now, that’s a friend.” Rose nodded. “Seven days is a long time to sit in silence.”

Nasnana laughed. She looked at Gwyn. Her teary eyes crinkled up and she smiled.

Nasnana winked at her and continued, “Well, it would seem that way. But after those seven days, they began to make speeches to Job. And for the next thirty-some odd chapters, we have these three friends accusing Job of sinning. Because that’s why he’s suffering, right? There must be some hidden sin in his life? As Job debates with these men, he attests to the fact that he doesn’t understand why God is allowing all this suffering in his life, but he rests in God’s sovereignty and the fact that he knows the Lord. In chapter nineteen, Job says, ‘For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth.’ You see, Job had an intimate relationship with God. And even though he’d been beaten up and battered by life, he still trusted.”

Gwyn shifted in her seat. “I want to be like that. I want to praise God now, even though it hurts, and I want to be able to come out on the other side of all this and still be praising God. ‘’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus. . . .’” She closed her eyes again.

Rose wrapped an arm around Gwyn’s shoulder. “Nasnana, how does the story of Job end?”

“Well, after all the debates with his three friends. God answers them all in a whirlwind and tells Job’s friends that they must repent and sacrifice, because they didn’t speak of Him correctly, like Job did. And then He blessed Job abundantly with more than he’d had before.”

“Oh my goodness. That’s an amazing story.” Rose’s eyes locked with hers.

Nasnana knew the Lord was doing a mighty work in this young woman. He was doing a mighty work in them all.

Gwyn stood up. “My heart may be broken in loss, but I know where my strength is found.” A tear slid down her cheek. “‘The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.’”

Nasnana, Rose, and Sadzi all stood. Nasnana reached out. “Let’s join hands and sing that hymn again. Rose, would you lead us?”

Their voices rose in praise and adoration. Nasnana watched each girl the Lord had blessed her with. Her beautiful granddaughter, Sadzi, her adopted granddaughter, Gwyn, and this precious new young woman, Rose. The beauty of them choked her up. Father, thank you. Thank you.

A knock sounded on the doorframe, and they stopped singing.

Nasnana opened the door. “Mr. Irwin, won’t you come in?”

“If you all don’t mind, we need you at the hospital, Gwyn. Nasnana, we were hoping you could accompany her.”

“Of course. Now?”

“Yes, as soon as possible.” He nodded and left the house.

“Well, I guess we better head on over.” Nasnana grabbed her shawl. “Rose, would you mind staying and cleaning up a little?”

“Of course. I’ll have some lunch ready when you return.”

Sadzi and Nasnana walked the long path on each side of Gwyn, there to comfort and support. At the hospital, Nasnana took an offered chair while Gwyn sat on the floor at her feet, as she had when a child. And now, as they waited, she stroked Gwyn’s head. The young woman had been so quiet since Mr. Irwin came to the house, her peaceful demeanor now replaced with fear. Where would they go from here? The mourning journey would take time, but bad news could make it seem even longer.

Dr. Albrecht entered with Mr. Carr, Mr. Irwin, Mr. Campbell, and the officers from Anchorage. They all nodded their heads in greeting.

“Ma’am, Miss, Miss Hillerman,” the officer in the front began, his southern heritage apparent in the drawl of his words, “we asked you to be here today because we have some news. First we’d like to give you this.” He held out a pocket watch. “The young Bouwens boy found it next to your father.”

Gwyn took it. “This is Jeremiah’s. My father must have borrowed it.”

The officers exchanged a glance, then the one who handed Gwyn the watch continued. “Dr. Albrecht did an examination of the body after they found him and noticed something unusual. Doctor, would you mind explaining what you told us?”

Dr. Albrecht moved forward. “Your father had petechial hemorrhages present around and in his eyes. That’s when I realized he didn’t die of natural causes. He didn’t fall in the river and drown, because there was no water in his lungs.”

Nasnana looked at Gwyn. Her face was pale, eyes wide.

“I’m sorry, Gwyn. Your father was suffocated. Someone killed him.”