CHAPTER SEVEN

ADDICTED

The 4^th semester exams drew closer. Ashwin had probably never been through as much tension or worry in his entire life as had just then. He did not want to get a year back; he wanted to finish the course with us. He studied hard and the rest of us taught him everything we had learnt in the previous semesters. We did not care much about our exams. Ashwin lacked focus. He needed a cigarette every five minutes and a drink every evening. Soon, our exams started. Ashwin seemed positive about his results after completing five of them. The sixth exam was the tough one: Material Sciences. In the previous semester, Varun had managed to pass this subject with great difficulty. I was scared for Ashwin. In the morning of the exam, Ashwin woke up early and headed to the Xerox shop near college. We always carried a micro Xerox of notes for our internals, but none of us dared to try that in the external exams. Ashwin managed to micro Xerox the whole Material Sciences textbook and carried it to the exam hall. None of us knew about his mini book until later that day… It was ten minutes past two in the afternoon. Varun and I were waiting for Ashwin in our room. We were anxious and couldn’t wait to know how he had done. The clock struck three. We feared that something might have gone wrong. Varun ran to college and searched every nook and corner for Ashwin. We asked our friends. But no one knew where he was. I called a classmate who was supposed to take the paper with Ashwin.

‘Hi, did you see Ashwin today in the examination hall?’ I asked my classmate.

‘He got caught by the investigation squad for malpractice,’ he said.

‘What!’

‘Ashwin was caught with a mini Xerox of the whole textbook of Material Sciences.

He is in deep trouble. He might be debarred from writing exams for three years.’

I was shocked. I couldn’t think of anything to say. I ended the call and walked back to my room. Ashwin was sitting on my bed. I called Varun and asked him to come back to our room.

‘What happened?’ I asked. Ashwin was in tears. Ashwin had always displayed such immense fortitude. He was never one to let himself fall apart in difficult times. But there he was - broken and devastated! ‘I did not want to copy. I had just carried the micro Xerox for emergency. I did not even use it and the squad caught me,’ he said. His voice was strained. Fresh tears streamed down his face.

‘It’s over. What did your dad say and now what?’ I asked Ashwin.

‘I do not know. I have to appear in front of the University jury and they will decide. It is going to be a minimum of two year backs. My life is ruined,’ Ashwin cried.

I did not know what to say. His life was ruined for sure. The examiner in the class room would have left him with a warning. But he was caught carrying a mini textbook by the University squad! They did not care whether he copied from it or not. There was no escaping the consequences - even if he were the son of the President of India. Varun got back and heard the story. Ashwin’s dad came down to Bangalore and spoke to everyone possible. But he could not save his son from the squad. Ashwin was given a year back. He was disappointed. His college life changed. He was no longer the happy, funny, curly haired guy from Cochin I had met two years ago. Neither whiskey nor champagne could raise his spirits. He couldn’t get himself to move on. People in college did not treat him well either. They stared at him, making him uneasy and reminding him of what had happened. Ashwin took to drinking heavily. He hardly spoke. He was not his usual fun self anymore. The Bob Marley in him had died. He smoked the herb every hour. His parents felt helpless and we knew our advice would only make him drift further away from us. Varun finished with Prison Break and started watching House Season 1.

[After the 4^th semester break]

‘How is he now?’ I asked Varun.

‘He is alright,’ Varun said. Why did I doubt that? Perhaps because Varun didn’t sound like he believed it himself.

‘Has he stopped his drinking?’

‘He is coming back today. Why don’t you ask him?’

After the incident, Ashwin avoided me and remained close to Varun as he didn’t like me advising him all the time about his drinking and smoking. It upset me that Ashwin had stopped talking to me. But it felt like he was losing his grip over life. I knew dealing with malpractice, getting caught, dealing with society and parents was taking a toll on him. But I did not want him to spoil his health and mind over it. He resented me interfering in his life. Ashwin had gone back home for the semester break. The 5^th semester had already begun. But he was serving the year back, so he decided to arrive late. Ashwin had to vacate the hostel due to the year back (students who received a year back due to any reason would have to vacate the hostel immediately). He rented out a penthouse close to college. His dad wanted him to come back to Bangalore, hoping that the college environment would be therapeutic. Ashwin had to attend the second year classes all over again.

‘How is Aparna?’ I asked Varun.

‘She is getting married in five months,’ Varun said, in a barely audible whisper.

‘What have you thought of doing about it?’

‘What can I do?’ Varun asked.

‘Is she fine?’

‘She is really tensed. They have selected a boy for her. He works for a big MNC and earns eleven lakh rupees per annum. He will keep her happy. My dad will never allow me to get married to her. She is helpless as the longer they wait the more dowry their family would have to shell out,’ Varun said. He looked completely defeated. I knew there was nothing I could say or do to make him feel better.

‘But can she live without you?’ I asked.

‘No, she cannot. She loves me like crazy. I do not know how she will be able to live with anyone else,’ Varun said.

‘Why don’t you give it a shot? I really think you should try.’

‘Forget it Armaan,’ Varun said. We didn’t talk about it anymore.

‘Hello my angels,’ someone behind us said.

It was Ashwin! He was standing at the door with a bag in hand. He looked different. He had lost a lot of weight and grown his hair and his beard. ‘Why do you look so healthy?’ Varun asked sarcastically. He was scanning Ashwin from head to toe, making him uncomfortable.

‘I am healthy! Stop it,’ he pleaded, looking at Varun.

‘Armaan. How are you?’ Ashwin asked.

‘I am fine and you have been ignoring me for two months Mr. Ashwin. You have not picked up nor returned any of my calls,’ I barked.

‘I have not been ignoring you. I know I am wrong and you are the only person who makes me feel guiltier about drinking and smoking, so I avoided you. I am sorry. Now let’s go to my new flat.’ He seemed excited about being back. I was glad to see him back to his old self. After two months of depression, the three of us had gotten a chance to spend time with each other. We reached Ashwin’s new penthouse. It was marvellous.

‘It’s a sexy apartment!’ I said, looking at Ashwin.

‘I hope I get to have some sex here,’ he said. It was nice to know that he had gotten his sense of humour back too. We couldn’t help but grin at his audacious remark.

‘So, how was home? Is everything alright now?’ I asked Ashwin. He had just sat down to roll a joint. ‘Parents are fine. I have lost interest in engineering completely. But it is too late for me to quit now. I have to patiently finish this course. It sucks that I have stay here for an extra year,’ Ashwin said.

‘I understand but you have to be strong.’

‘How is our lover boy?’ Ashwin asked, turning to Varun who was sitting with a forlorn expression. He hadn’t said much since we had gotten to the apartment.

‘You should really let go,’ Ashwin told Varun. He continued advising him. I got up to go to the bathroom. When I returned, I saw Ashwin handing over a strip of tablets to Varun.

‘What are those?’ I asked Ashwin. Can’t be anything good, I thought.

‘Do you also want them?’ Ashwin asked me.

‘No. But what are those?’

‘They are Spasmos. A normal tablet for stomach pain, but if you eat eight of them, you see paradise!’ Ashwin laughed.

‘Varun, I don’t think you should try them,’ I said.

‘Just once; I want to try it once,’ Varun said and popped eight of those blue capsules.

Ashwin popped close to twelve. Why would they need pills to get high? Where did he get the pills from? What kind of a high was it? Drinking and smoking did not satisfy them? Were they addicted? Should I try them too? Ashwin’s penthouse became our home. Varun and I stayed over at Ashwin’s place on most nights. I did my research on the pills they had been popping. In layman terms,   Spasmos  Proxyvon is a strong pain killer which contains Dextropropoxyphene Dicyclomine and is used to treat various stomach and intestinal problems. If someone consumes these tablets in excess, they would ultimately develop an addiction to them. The sale of these pills without a doctor’s prescription was banned. Ashwin bought them from the chemist shops around the college. The chemists knew the drugs were banned. Some chemists would not sell them. But there were some who would sell them at a higher price to people like Ashwin. A strip that would ordinarily cost ten rupees was sold for a hundred bucks. I started developing an aversion towards Varun and Ashwin’s behaviour. They never attended classes and chose instead to stay in their rooms, popping pills and smoking cigarettes all day. They stopped drinking because it did not go well with the tablets. Their life was confined to the penthouse and the pills. I finally decided to bring the topic up while Varun and I were walking back to our hostel room after the usual scene at Ashwin’s place.

‘You should stop having these pills. You are getting addicted,’ I said.

‘No, it’s nice; you should do it once,’ Varun suggested. He was barely conscious. Perhaps now was not the best time to bring it up, I thought. ‘I do not want to. Why can’t you just drink or smoke? You don’t need to do drugs just because Ashwin is doing it.’ I felt bad criminalizing Ashwin. Varun and Ashwin were both my best friends, but Ashwin would not listen to anyone. Varun on the other hand, was getting carried away due to his ‘romantic’ problems and was slipping further away from this world.

‘I am doing it by my free will. Do not blame Ashwin.’

‘I am requesting you to stop this; you should ask Ashwin to stop as well,’ I told him. He was not able to walk properly. The tablets had a direct effect on their mind. According to Varun, the state he reached after popping ten of these pills would be so intense that he’d forget the surroundings and would find it hard to talk. I was never one to worry. But the pace at which they were going troubled me and I felt sure something drastic would happen in the near future if they kept it up.

Days passed; Varun started popping 18 of them at a time and Ashwin seemed to be barely aware that he was still living on Earth. I was a mere spectator to this and had grown fed up of advising them. Ashwin made new friends from other colleges. He started getting his hands on bigger drugs and Varun fell into it as well. Ashwin missed all his exams again. He didn’t seem to remember that he was still doing his Engineering. Varun managed to sit and write the exams because I coaxed him into studying despite his daily dosage. The semester ended and the only thing I could see myself doing in the future was taking care of Varun and Ashwin. There were times when I would sit alone, not knowing what to do, when they’d start talking to each other nonsensically. They would sway like pendulums with their eyes popping out. There was a risk of an overdose every day. Ashwin was a hefty guy. But Varun’s body was not capable of handling such insane drug abuse. It scared me and my patience had run out. I decided to call Ashwin’s parents during the semester break. All our other friends were growing tired of their behaviour too. I didn’t want to look the other way anymore. Ashwin and Varun were like my brothers. Varun was only getting into this because Aparna’s marriage was fixed and it was going to take place in a month. Ashwin’s addiction was not as simple. Coaxing and pleading would not work on him. He needed professional help. He managed to get another year back. I felt that Varun would get over his addiction if Ashwin cleaned up. So, I called Ashwin’s parents.

‘Hello Uncle,’ I said.

‘I am Armaan, Uncle, Ashwin’s friend. I need you to listen to me calmly for ten minutes…’ I explained the entire situation to Ashwin’s dad over the phone.

‘Done. I will come there and talk to you. Thanks for informing,’ Uncle said. I could tell from his voice that he was in tears. I felt like a traitor. I would never be able to forgive myself for what I had done. Ashwin was my best friend. But I was doing this for his well-being, I told myself. I felt Varun had more will power than Ashwin. Varun had at least written his exams. Ashwin’s dad needed to know the truth, especially when his son’s life was in jeopardy. I wondered if I could have handled the situation better. Ashwin would hate me. But it would not matter if he got rid of those dirty drugs, I thought. I sat down holding back my tears. Why was this so difficult? I cried like a mad man. I had never seen such things in my life. I was never close to cousins in my family or my relatives, but I always made friends who I would die for. I could not bear to see my best friends go through this phase. I felt helpless.