CHAPTER NINE

DID YOU GET A JOB?

It wasn’t long before my friends and I realized that we had worked hard in our four years of engineering just to get placed in the best MNC possible. The IIT’s and the NIT’s were the elite colleges that I turned my back on, four years ago. The best companies in the world go searching for graduates from these elite colleges, and hire them for triple the amount they paid Engineers from colleges like ours. The social life that I was unwilling to sacrifice for four years was here to haunt me now. Our college was ranked second in Karnataka. World class companies entered our campus as well. But they picked a paltry one and two after filtering close to five hundred students. There were two kinds of placements: Core and software. Core placements were for branches like Mechanical, Chemical, Civil and Electrical. Most core companies did not pay very well. If they did, they would pick just two from the whole college. The branches related to the software industry had nothing to complain about. In a city like Bangalore, where all the software giants across the world had made their mark, all computer science graduates were assured jobs in the best software firms. Students from the Computer science related branches secured jobs in Google, Amazon, Netapp, Yahoo, HP, and the lists goes on. Now, the poor souls from the non-computer science branches, who were not eligible to sit for the above mentioned companies, would wait eagerly and impatiently for their first offer letter and then …Bingo! The mass recruiting software companies would enter with a cookie in hand.

The cookie offering companies were characterized by:

A salary package that was a tad more than what the core companies would offer.

An aptitude test for the initial screening process that was made really easy.

Cookie offerings to all. It didn’t matter if you were a Mechanical, Electrical, Civil or a Biotechnology Engineer.

A deep desire for helpless souls like us to take a bite into their cookie.

All of us from the non-computer science branches never disappointed these cookie offering companies. We ran to them. The cookie was far too inviting. A student, who chose Mechanical Engineering or Electrical Engineering due to his ‘interest’, would have to pick up a job that had nothing to do with what he or she had learnt in the four years of engineering out of ‘necessity’.

A necessity that stemmed from reasons like-

Did not study throughout Engineering and scored really bad marks to be eligible to appear for high paying core jobs.

Do not have the required GRE or TOEFL score to pursue masters abroad.

I respect money more than my decision I made four years back.

I realized I do not like Mechanical, Electrical, Civil etc…all I can think about now is earn some money in the IT industry.

Everyone has an offer letter; if not a core job, any job is okay. I can show my friends and parents that I got a job rather than hunting for a job of my interest after Engineering. How foolish will that be? Let me just take the Software job.

I will work in the IT industry for a year and figure out what exactly I want to do in life.

I did not want to work for a core company. After four years of Engineering, I realized designing gears, switches, cars or aircrafts was definitely one of things I did not want to do my entire life. I made this decision after doing my internship at a couple of reputed companies. I dreamt of writing, movies and songs. Soon, Varun got selected and took his cookie from an Indian software MNC and I took mine from an American one. My dad was happy that I got into the biggest software firm in the world. The salary they offered me was equivalent to peanuts. I, like every other engineer passing out from the ‘not so well known’ colleges, decided to take the offer. Most of my friends in Mechanical engineering accepted the cookie too. A few of them got job offers from prestigious core companies like Mercedes Benz, John Deere and Bosch. Perhaps it had been foolish to not try for the core companies. But I figured it was for the best. The IT industry would give me enough time to think about my writing, movies and music. Varun and I vacated Ashiana. Sameer and Arun started looking for new flat mates. I knew I was going to miss my college life more than anything else. Finally, my Mechanical Engineering stint at Bangalore had come to an end. I was entering the corporate world. The silicon valley of India was awaiting the next ‘Mark Zuckerburg’ to code his life away. Varun received his date of joining and had to leave for Trivandrum. I waited a month for my joining date. I was asked to join at Pune. I did not want to leave Bangalore because of my friends and my love for the city. Besides, it was not like I was going to be paid a million dollars by the company for me to relocate. I had moved around enough throughout my life because of my dad’s writing job. I refused to go to Pune and so, they shifted my training location to Bangalore. This was the start of something new in my life. I picked up a one-bedroom luxurious flat close to I.T.P.L (International tech park limited), Bangalore. This area was populated mainly by software engineers. There was a vast stretch of software and manufacturing companies in Whitefield. My American company was also located in I.T.P.L. My training had commenced. On my first day inside the I.T.P.L campus, all I could see were people with Identity cards around their neck walking around. It felt like I had entered a new planet. My rigorous training in JAVA had started. The training period made me feel like I was attending a casual computer course rather than serious work. I hated coding. I managed to get by the thirty days of training, after which I was posted at the Richmond circle branch to work on a project dealing with e-commerce. I met a few people in this software company who amazed me. I was introduced to my team that looked bored and dead. They looked as though they were forced to work there. My project manager informed me that I would be put into a team known as a ‘Move to production’ team which would have nothing to do with JAVA or programming. ‘You are the only resource in India for this team and you will be working with a person named Suzzane from the United States. You can raise a request for a laptop on the company online tool,’ she said.

‘If you need any help, I am always around. My name is Amrita.’

‘Once you receive your laptop, please go on a chat with Suzzane and make sure she starts giving you the KT.’

‘What is KT, Amrita?’ I asked.

‘Knowledge transfer. Don’t worry, Suzzane will take care of it. All you have to do is go on a chat with her at six in the evening,’ she said and walked away.

My project manager seemed really sweet. But I felt like a nomad in the company on my first day. I walked to the food court and found at least ten thousand IT professionals trying to get their food from Subway, Mc Donalds and Dominos. I hastened back to the office. I felt like I was in a refugee camp. My chat with Suzanne from USA started at 6:00 P.M Indian time.

‘Hi, good morning Suzzane.’

‘Hi Armaan.’

‘So, you joined today right?’

‘Yes Suzzane.’

‘So, what did you train in?’

‘JAVA.’

‘Oh, were you informed that there is no coding or knowledge of JAVA required in this project you are put into?’

‘Yes.’

‘So, what you will be working on is more of a support activity rather than development.’

‘Okay Suzzane.’

‘I will start your training from tomorrow. Let’s have the call from 7:00 A.M USA time which would be 6:00 P.M India time. Okay?’

‘Okay Suzanne.’

‘Have a nice day.’

‘You have a nice one too.’

I wanted to write for movies. Where was I? What was I doing instead? I had just finished my training in something that was apparently of no use. I had to undergo training again. What kind of training could happen over a phone call? Did I make a mistake joining the IT industry? Days passed. All I did for two months was ‘gain knowledge’ over a telephone. After my training, it occurred to me that all I had learnt from my 10^th grade till the end of my Mechanical Engineering course was of no use in the job I was doing. All I had to do was use a couple of tools to update and document information which was worth millions according to my American company. The work I was assigned could be completed by a 10^th grade kid who knew how to switch on a computer. I felt useless. My managers and team mates seemed happy with what they were doing. Was it possible that my managers could not figure out in nine years what I had figured out in two months of my training? My managers and my team mates had been working for this American company for periods that ranged from 3,4,7,9 and 14 years. They seemed blissfully unaware that they were being used to do ‘coolie work’ while the Americans did the ‘Engineer’s work’. Were they that happy with the money they were getting paid to forgo their identity and live with phones and computers? Would I end up working here for a decade just like them? I wanted to get out of there. I was four months into this IT job I had chosen. I was tired of it. I had no real work. All I had to do was head to office, spend my time on Facebook and Google, and head home feeling guilty about how much I was getting paid to do just that. Varun came back from Trivandrum after his training. His return brought me some relief. I had not tasted the herb for a long time. All I did for four months was to go to office. Varun took a flat close to mine. I enjoyed my new found freedom, despite the boring 9 hours of work. Varun came home every day. I hosted a lot of parties and fun had found its way back into my life.

‘So, did you stop popping pills mister?’ I asked Varun.

‘Yes, Yes!’ Varun replied. His promptness in reply made me believe otherwise.

‘Oh! I bet you have not!’ I said.

‘So, how is work?’ Varun asked changing the topic.

‘They have hired me to use Google in the office. It’s been five months and I still do not know what I am supposed to do out there.’

‘At least you do not have work. My work is complete crap. I hate IT companies, especially the Indian ones,’ Varun grumbled. He pulled out a lighter from his pocket and lit a cigarette.

‘How is Ashwin? Where is he now?’ I asked.

‘He is in Cochin taking care of his family business. Lucky dog,’

Varun smiled.

‘I hope he is doing fine now.’

‘He is doing excellent as far as I know.’

‘I am leaving,’ Varun said and got up to walk back to his flat. Varun was staying with two of his colleagues from his company. I wanted to shift in with Varun in a couple of months. But I was a little unsure about it as I did not want to handle his habit of popping pills. The thought of it frightened me. But both of us had mellowed down since our college days. The usage of herb had decreased drastically and we hardly ever drank liquor. Varun and some of my colleagues were with us on most evenings. Varun seemed to have gotten over Aparna after his return from Trivandrum. But something told me that his love for pills still lingered and would take a lot more to get over.

[Manipal Hospital]

The ambulance stopped in front of the hospital. The helpers rushed him to the emergency ward. My heart was racing. The past four years flashed before me like scenes from a half forgotten nightmare. Two minutes later, I saw the helpers push the stretcher to the ICU. I ran behind the doctor.

‘What is wrong with him?’

‘Critical. He is critical,’ the doctor said and disappeared into the ICU.

What was happening to him? What would I tell his parents? How was I supposed to explain any of this? I thought of Ashwin. I dialled his number on my phone. My hands were shivering. All of a sudden, pressing keys on my phone was proving to be a challenge.

‘Hey.’

‘Hi Armaan. What’s up? How is your job, man?’ Ashwin seemed ecstatic to hear from me. If only I had something good to say.

‘Varun is admitted to hospital; doctors are saying he is critical.’

‘What do you mean? What happened to him?’

‘I think he popped too many pills.’

‘Oh my god! I will be there in six hours. Please inform his parents about this if you have not informed them yet!’ Ashwin said.

Inform his parents! What do I tell them? Your son is dying due to a drug overdose and all this only because he could not tell you two years ago about how much he loved Aparna … of course… why not? That should make this a lot easier on them…

God, I thought. I had lost my faith in god a long time ago. Who was god to me? The person who caused my friend to fall in love with a woman only for him to eventually realize that he could never be with her... the one behind a million unanswered prayers and broken dreams. The one, who was supposed to be shelter for the good and destroy evil, seemed out to do just the opposite. Why else would he put Ashwin and Varun through all that they had to endure? What sin had Ashwin and Varun committed? They had never hurt anyone. They hurt themselves more than anyone else. Despite myself and my shattered faith, I knelt down in the corridor that day and offered a silent prayer. I opened my eyes and straightened myself out.

‘Are you his family?’ the doctor asked, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

‘Yes, I am his brother,’ I said.

‘Please inform his parents; he has only ten to fifteen hours,’ he said.

‘Is there no chance?’

‘No; his liver is completely damaged due to excessive drinking, and the pills he has been popping have completely destroyed his immune system. It is a case of high drug abuse and overdose. We found traces of Cocaine and Ketamine as well. This is a case of multiple drug abuse. I am sorry,’ he said and walked away. I informed his parents. His mother was crying on the phone. I did not cry. I couldn’t. My best friend was not leaving me. This was just a bad dream that I could wake up from... Varun’s parents were to reach Bangalore in ten hours. I felt nothing but a growing sense of emptiness. I did not want to be there. I did not want to be touched, looked at, or spoken to. I wanted to go back to those times in our hostel, long before the drinking and smoking had taken its toll... long before Aparna… I wanted my friend back, the friend that stood beside me against an army of irate seniors. Why hadn’t I stood beside him when he needed me?

‘I wish I could go back a couple of years and change things.’

‘What the fuck happened?’ Ashwin was standing in front of me.

‘You said you would take six hours…’

‘I took a flight; so how is he now?’

‘He has ten hours,’ ten hours… How odd the words sounded to me… Varun had ten hours to live… why wasn’t I waking up from this nightmare?

‘What?’ Ashwin’s scream echoed through the corridor.

‘What are you saying? Can’t these fucking doctors do anything?’

‘It’s a case of high overdose, they say. He might have another seizure anytime.’

Ashwin crumbled to the floor.

‘He is on his death bed because of me,’ Ashwin said.

‘I should have never given him that first pill to start with.’

‘No Ashwin. He did it by his will. Stop blaming yourself.’

No amount of consoling could help. Our friend was dying and we could do nothing to stop it.

‘I am sorry, he is dead,’ the nurse informed.

I felt something heavy stuck in my throat. I couldn’t swallow. Ashwin ran towards the ICU. I stayed there, staring at them vacantly. I did not want to see him. I went outside the hospital and bought a pack of cigarettes. I smoked ten of them at one go. I walked back inside the hospital. What was happening? Varun was dead. He lived for 22 years. What had he seen in life? I walked into the ICU. I saw Ashwin sitting next to Varun’s cold lifeless body. He was holding Varun’s hand against his forehead and crying. I did not want to get any closer to them. Ashwin ran out and hugged me. I could see a woman clad in saree running towards us. ‘Varun!’ she screamed and ran towards us faster. I caught her and said, ‘He is no more.’ She cried… and only cried. Varun’s father walked into the ICU. ‘I know all this is because of that Aparna. I knew he liked her a lot. I ruined his life,’ Varun’s mom cried, wiping her tears. ‘No aunty, it is because of Varun using these pills; it is our fault as friends for not controlling him,’ I said and hugged her again. I hadn’t shed a tear through it all. I felt numb. A part of me had died. Ashwin stood at the far end of the corridor and cried alone. I knew he was blaming himself for everything. I walked towards him.

‘I am sorry,’ he said. A fresh wave of tears made its way down his face. ‘It is not your fault, Ashwin. It is the drugs. He did not know how to deal with the Aparna issue and took to drugs,’ I said. I did not know what to say. Everyone blamed themselves. Perhaps everyone deserved to for not stopping him. Perhaps the only thing to blame was Varun’s love for drugs…Days passed. I stopped meeting people. It felt better to keep to myself. I felt nothing, no pain, no happiness...no peace… nothing… just an increasing sense of emptiness. I had lost Varun forever. He had left behind a gaping void that could never be filled. Ashwin went back home soon after, but he called every day and cried over the phone. I lost interest in my work completely. I was eight months into my work at the American MNC and I was fed up of not doing anything useful. The more time I spent doing nothing at work, the more I thought of Varun. Varun slowly turned into a happy memory from a happier time. I quit smoking. I quit drinking liquor too. I promised to myself to never touch any of those again. Cigarettes, grass and liquor were just an easy escape from solving problems. I moved on in whatever way I could. I tried to stay focused on my need to write for movies when…