A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out.1
—Solomon
Imagine we’re standing along the edge of a lake next to an SUV. The hatch is up and a large open chest sits in the back of the vehicle. Go ahead, have a look. You can see that it’s stacked to the top with $100 bills. To save you the hassle of counting, we’ll just tell you—it’s $3 million.
That much cash is heavy, of course, especially when you throw in the weight of the watertight chest. Now that we’ve secured the lid, we’ll need your help getting it into the boat.
After thanking you for the assistance, we leave you at the edge and row out to the middle of the lake. It’s a ways out, but you can see everything perfectly. We grab the chest on either end, hoist it over the side, and—you can hardly believe your eyes—drop it into the murky water below! A few minutes later and we’re back on the shore. We leave the boat in your care, shake hands, hop into the SUV, and drive away.
Now what are you going to do?
Here’s a good guess: You’ll pull out your cell phone and try to find the nearest available dive shop, while you keep your eye exactly on the spot you saw us drop the money. It doesn’t matter what you have planned. All appointments are canceled, meetings postponed, calls forgotten. Expense reports? To-dos? Your inbox? Forget about it. Your schedule just changed. If you know the location of $3 million, you’ll drop everything to go find it.
If you take your eye off the spot, if you leave and come back, if you get distracted by whatever else is nearby, you may lose it. You may miss your shot. It’s the same with Life Planning. At this point in the book, we have shared everything you need to know to create your Life Plan. But the longer you delay in seizing the treasure, the more likely you’ll lose it. The time to act is now.
If you’ve heard renowned business and life thought leader Jim Rohn’s “law of diminishing intent,” you know why this is important. The law of diminishing intent says that the longer you delay doing something, the less probability you have of actually doing it. You lose all the emotional energy. That’s why we encourage you to schedule a day within the next two weeks to create your Life Plan.
This is not something you can do piecemeal. In this chapter we explain why it’s vital that you put everything else in your life on hold and set aside a full day. We cover the right approach and preparation for this important day as well, but the main thing to remember is that this is the day that can change everything for you.
The course of history has often turned on a single day. On July 4, 1776, fifty-six delegates to the Continental Congress approved the Declaration of Independence and changed world history. On June 6, 1944, Allied forces invaded Normandy and began the military push that liberated Europe. On August 28, 1963, under the visionary leadership of Martin Luther King Jr., more than 250,000 Americans marched on Washington, DC, paving the way for the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
One day can change everything. It’s true for nations and individuals. Think back on your own graduation, wedding, or promotion. Or maybe things far less pleasant: a cancer diagnosis, the end of a marriage, or the death of a loved one. For better or worse, some days have more impact on the future than others.
This is particularly true of the day you create your first Life Plan. Done well, this singular event will affect not only your life but possibly the lives of generations that follow. You will unleash a set of decisions and actions that will have a greater impact than you could possibly imagine.
Despite the importance, some people balk at the thought of giving up an entire day for this exercise. They think, Who has time for that? Instead, they want to create their Life Plan incrementally, over a span of days or weeks. But after guiding thousands of people through this process, we can tell you this approach is ineffective. The best course is not a series of weekly appointments, or even two half days. It takes one full day to do it right.
Solomon said, “A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out.” Like that chest in the lake, we have plans and desires deep in our hearts. But the sad truth is that most people fail to coax them out and live from the wealth they afford. They get distracted, lose focus, and give up. Only the wise find the prize.
We’ve mentioned already the profound words of the Hebrew poet: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” You don’t have an infinite supply of days to make a difference in the lives of your loved ones, family, and friends, and in the world. The wise know their days are numbered and act accordingly.
As we mentioned earlier, a Life Plan needs pull power. It has to be done in such a way that impacts your heart, not just your head. Otherwise, you’ll just end up with a glorified to-do list. And who needs one more of those? Pull power requires that you get caught up in the full scope of the plan. You can’t do that piecemeal. If you write out your epitaph between two and three on a Friday afternoon but then don’t work on your Life Accounts till the following Thursday, you will have lost the emotional power of the previous exercise.
No, something this significant deserves an immersive experience. Life is full of distractions. Life Planning requires unplugging from the other demands on our attentions. Thinking about your life—your whole life—is different than solving the next problem on your daily task list. There’s a certain amount of ramp-up time. It requires focused attention. You need a full day to get into the groove and really ponder where you have been and where you are going.
This is not merely an intellectual exercise. If you try to knock it out in a few hours, rather than give it the time it requires, you’re short-circuiting the creative process. Life Planning is fundamentally about imagining a better future. It’s about breaking free of your limiting beliefs, tapping into your deepest desires, and standing in the realm of possibility. You need the time to work through each Life Account, see it in relationship to the whole, and imagine what can be.
Bottom line: This is the biggest day of your year. If you’re going to assess every aspect of your life, it’s worthy of your full attention. Total focus means greater impact. We are asking you to make a decision. Will you commit to taking a full day, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., to work on your Life Plan? Yes or no?
Get Off Your But
People who resist the idea of committing to a full day usually cite one of the following five excuses. We thought we’d hit these head-on just in case they were about to slip out of your lips.
But I’m too busy. This is an all-purpose excuse for people who just don’t want to do something. You’re busy. So is everybody else. We get it. But the truth is, people make time for what is important to them. The real question is whether or not you think Life Planning is important. The busier you are, the more intentional you must be. Otherwise, you amplify your risk of drifting to a destination you didn’t choose.
But I can’t afford to. Maybe you work in a job where you don’t get a vacation or paid time off. Committing a day to Life Planning means lost income or, at the very least, lost opportunity. You’d like to devote a full day to creating your plan, but it will cost you to do so. First of all, you don’t have to do this on a workday. Any day you typically take off can provide a terrific time to do it. You might not have to take time off from work. But if you do, we encourage you to reframe this as an investment rather than a cost. What could be a better use of your time than establishing a game plan for your life?
But I’m not a writer. A Life Plan isn’t a novel. This document won’t be published. In fact, you don’t have to let anyone read it (though you might choose to share it with a close friend, coach, or someone who can help you live it out). This is purely for your own consumption. If you can think it, you can write it. Just brain dump. All you need to do is get it out of your head and onto the page (whether physical or digital).
But my boss won’t let me. You don’t need your boss’s permission. If you take the day as a vacation day or personal time (PTO), they won’t care one way or the other. Of course, if they’re sold on the concept and convinced it will lead to greater productivity (see chap. 10), they may be happy to give you the time off or even let you use work time to complete it.
But my spouse won’t let me. If your spouse doesn’t want you to take a vacation day for Life Planning, it’s because they don’t (yet) appreciate its value. The truth is, your spouse will be the most immediate and direct beneficiary. But rather than try to convince your mate, ask him or her to read this book and then figure out how you can both take a day.
Here’s the reality: Anything worthwhile is opposed. Steven Pressfield calls this the Resistance.2 Any time you try to make an improvement or tackle a significant project, you can expect to encounter obstacles. Creating your Life Plan is no different. Sometimes these obstacles come from without; often they come from within. Regardless, the key is to connect with why your envisioned future is personally compelling, so you are willing to overcome the Resistance to achieve it.
How to Prepare for Your Time Away
Whether or not your Life Planning Day is productive depends largely on how well you prepare. We suggest you take these five actions.
1. Block time on your calendar. If you wait until a hole opens in your schedule, you’ll never get around to it. (Don’t ask us how we know this.) By that time, you might well have lost any sense of urgency too. Remember, what gets scheduled gets done.
Create a “Planning Retreat” appointment in your calendar and treat it like an important commitment—it is! If someone asks you to do something on that day, you can legitimately say, “I’m sorry, but I have a commitment then. How about [alternative date]?”
2. Decide where to go. It is essential that you get away from familiar surroundings. You want to be free of distractions. Doing this at work or home is not a good idea. You need a shift in perspective, and usually a change of scenery is necessary. Having said this, you don’t have to go someplace exotic or expensive. We have done Life Planning at state parks, in cheap hotel rooms, in the public library, and in friends’ vacation homes.
We know one woman, Beth, who goes to an inexpensive oceanside retreat center. She finds the beach puts her in exactly the frame of mind to reflect and plan. After one day away she comes back rested and ready for the next year.
Another man, Richard, goes to the Four Seasons. He plans all day, then invites his wife over for dinner and a night away from the kids. The first time he did it, his marriage wasn’t in great shape. He set things back on the right course after that.
While we prefer to be outdoors, it isn’t always possible or even necessary. The main thing is to find a place that is quiet, where you won’t be distracted or interrupted. You also want to find a place you enjoy, a place that stimulates your creativity, your sensitivity, and your willingness to listen to the deeper desires of your heart.
3. Take the necessary supplies. You don’t need much, but you will need a few items, starting with writing instruments. These could be a pen and yellow pad or journal, like a Moleskine notebook. Some people find that writing really connects their head and heart and allows them to dream big. Others prefer using their laptop. We’ve made templates for Microsoft Word and iWork Pages available at LivingForwardBook.com. Go with whatever you find most natural.
Make sure you have whatever you need to be mentally sharp and physically comfortable: the right clothes for the environment, water, snacks, and so on. You might also select some background music that will inspire you. Many people find movie scores and Focus@Will playlists especially helpful.
4. Determine to be offline. No phone, internet, apps—nothing, except whatever you’re using to draft your Life Plan. We invite you to make a decision to be offline the whole day.
We know how difficult this is. We struggle with the temptation to stay connected too. But, we promise, being offline will not kill you. It might be a little tough during the first hour as you compulsively want to check your email or various social media accounts. But if you resist, the urge will pass. And it will set your mind free to do something you may not have done in years: concentrate.
Being offline will enable you to think deeply and reflectively. This is essential in creating a Life Plan that is both inspiring and practical. You can’t do this if you opt for the quick fix that comes from checking email. Those distractions keep you from digging a little deeper to discover what you truly want and how you will achieve it.
5. Enroll your family and colleagues. Your family and the people you work with have legitimate needs. You’re probably used to being responsive, but there are very few interruptions that can’t wait for eight to ten hours.
The key is to warn people in advance that you’ll be out-of-pocket. You don’t have to provide many details. Just tell them you’ll be inaccessible most of the day. Depending on how much your absence will affect your team, you might even meet with them before you unplug to address any questions or issues. You might also create a backup plan for any emergencies.
There may be other things you want to do in preparation for your Life Planning day, but these five should get you well on your way. The main thing is to be intentional and thoughtful as you approach it.
Maximizing Your Day
So now the big day has come. It may be one of the most pivotal days of your life to date. Are you ready to get started? Here are a few best practices we have gleaned from our own experience and those we have coached through the process.
Before you actually start writing, we want to discuss your mind-set as you come to this exercise. Whatever your reality is, we recommend that you consciously shift your attitude and cultivate a spirit of gratitude, anticipation, and openness.
Gratitude is where every positive attitude starts. Negative emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness dissipate the moment you begin to be thankful. What can you be thankful for right now? Be thankful for everything you can possibly think of—your health, family, job, friends, community, whatever. Even if one of your Life Accounts is so seriously negative that you’re not sure it can be salvaged, find something to be grateful for. Gratitude will allow you to create your Life Plan out of a sense of abundance, not scarcity. In our experience, people rarely get more of anything until they have learned to be grateful for what they already have.
Anticipation is the exact opposite of dread. It means leaning into this experience, embracing it, and playing full out. In life, you often get what you expect. If you expect to get insight, wisdom, and inspiration, you will likely find them. If you expect boredom, confusion, or frustration, you will likely find them as well. What is your expectation today? It’s worth taking the time to notice your expectations and shift them, if necessary, toward a positive focus.
Finally, we suggest you cultivate openness. This will mean different things to different people. Generally, we mean you should approach this day without assumptions. Be willing to explore your intuitions and listen to what your heart is saying—you’re creating the necessary room for it to speak for a reason. Be willing to be surprised. Some of the greatest insights we have ever experienced were those we least expected. We hear the same from those we coach.
It’s worth remembering why you have come here. Focus on the deliverable—what do you want to leave with when you are done? Your goal is to create a written Life Plan, using the format we have shared with you in chapters 4–7. It can be anywhere from five to fifteen pages. Most are usually less than ten, but the only thing that matters is that it works for you.
By the day’s end, you want at least a first draft of each of the three major sections that make up the Life Plan. Even better, set a goal to have enough time left in the day to review and tweak it. The next day, you want to start implementing your plan. You can’t do that unless your plan is complete. That’s why you need to focus on the deliverable—a complete, written Life Plan.
Trust the Process
This is difficult to do, especially the first time. The Process doesn’t always follow a predictable path. Maybe you’ll start out with a burst of energy, get stuck, and want to quit. That sometimes happens. Don’t despair. Keep your head in the game. Maybe it’s the opposite. You arrive distracted or discouraged and have a difficult time getting started. The same advice holds. Don’t despair. Trust the process.
After coaching thousands of people through this process, we can guarantee that you will finish this day with a completed Life Plan if you just stay engaged and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Listen to Your Heart
As you commit your thoughts to the page, notice what you feel. Does what you just wrote for this or that Life Account resonate? Does it leave you flat? Ring hollow? If so, consider an alternative.
I (Michael) took my annual Life Planning day shortly before stepping down as the CEO of Thomas Nelson. For months I’d been restless. I felt change on the horizon but was enjoying the comfort of my position. Turning to my career account, I wrote, “Taking the company to the next level.” But the words just sat there, and the more I looked at them, the more lifeless and uninspired they seemed. I felt no energy around the statement.
So I gave myself permission to dream. What do I wish I could be doing if money or status were not an issue? Almost immediately the thought came: Speak and write full-time. I had no idea how I would make it happen, but I knew it was the right course. I chose to listen to my heart and began to lay the groundwork for one of the biggest career transitions I would ever experience.
Don’t Worry about Getting It Perfect
Please, please, please listen to us when we say this: perfectionism is the mother of procrastination. If you expect perfection, you will never finish.
Remember, your Life Plan will likely never be published. No one will grade it. It’s not for public consumption. This document is for you. So permit yourself to be less than perfect. You can use bad grammar, incomplete sentences, or badly formatted paragraphs. It doesn’t have to be perfect—just meaningful to you.
Stay Focused
You will be tempted to become distracted, especially when the going gets tough. This is normal. It reminds us of Dug, the talking dog in the movie Up. Right in the middle of an intense conversation, he sees something move, shouts “Squirrel!” and dashes off to chase it. Whenever you feel that urge, resist it. Stay put, stay focused, and the distraction will eventually pass. This is not to say you shouldn’t take breaks. Take as many as you need to be effective.
One way to handle those fleeting thoughts is to keep a separate pad of paper for stray ideas—a parking lot for all those random things you might want to return to later but which will derail you now.
If you follow the practices we recommend here, you will come out the other end of the chute with a Life Plan that gives your life purpose and direction, along with the inspiration necessary to start the journey.
Time to Step Up
You are now at a critical juncture. You can put this book down, blow off what you have learned, and continue to drift. Go that way and you’ll never experience the benefits of Life Planning. Who knows where you might end up? But chances are, it won’t be a destination you would have picked.
Alternatively, you can roll up your sleeves and get started. We’re not asking you to write the Great American Novel, a doctoral dissertation, or even an essay. We’re asking you to think, imagine, and write on something you already care deeply about: your life. In the next several chapters we’ll talk about some important aspects of implementing your plan. But for now, the most important thing for you to do is to set the date. When will you create your plan?
Thousands before you have done it. You can too.