Prayer

I embrace the shattered pieces of myself so that I might write.

Inside I am destroyed.

Show me Your might, O Almighty.

 

Teach me to pray,

A prayer of my own.

Give me my language.

 

Give me my language, O Lord of Language.

Give me my language so that I might pray to You,

To You the honor and the glory.

 

Give me all of my words.

Give me my language so that I might think, so that I might exist,

So that I might know myself, so that I might know You.

 

Lord of Clarity, Creator of Man, be with me in my solitude, for I am lost in the underground tombs. I want a word that I might set afire, that might set me afire. A word that I might return to life, that might return me to life. A word from which I might draw warmth and illuminate what is inside me.

The word that was in the beginning. The word that created the world out of nothing. The word that brought me here, to this place. I make out my prayers with the tips of my fingers; I can sense the letters with my heart. Give me the word, the secret word, the secret of truth, the truth of wisdom. Give me the wisdom to forgive this loss. Give me my language.

Give me the first letter of the answer so that I might understand the ugliness of the world, so that I might make sense of the harm and forgive. Give me L so that I might love, C so that I might contain and find compassion. I am drained of life, and water is hard to find. I am parched and far from myself. Give me D so that I might depart, might disappear. Give me R so that I might rest, might relax, might recover and find a way to heal. Give me S, give me T, give me U and V and W. Give me my language so that I might cultivate this wasteland called my life, so that I might illuminate the tomb inhabited by the ghosts and devils crouching deep in the caves of memory. Give me F so that I might forget, might feel, might flourish like a tree. Give me language, O Lord of Language, to You the honor and the power and the glory, on earth as in heaven. I am small and weak and insignificant, and this vast creation shall be yours forever and ever.

Give me my language.