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Birch flew around the corner and slammed to a stop beside a greenspace. He couldn’t drive while he was mad, or he’d injure someone. He wasn’t paying proper attention to the road. He’d managed to drive decently with Carly in the truck, but after she was out of the truck, he’d lost his mind.
He slapped his palms on the steering wheel. Carly was infuriating. He’d waited years for her to notice him and then she turned around and accused him of being a stalker. What was wrong with her? Sure, she’d been joking, but still. Years. He’d wasted years on her. And this morning, after all that time, all that effort, all the times he held himself in check, his frustration busted through his self-control and he lost it.
“Damn. Damn. Damn.” Cussing wasn’t his way, but darn and heck just didn’t cut it.
If he was wearing runners, he’d go for a run to burn off his frustration. For the first time in years, he wished his favorite footwear wasn’t cowboy boots. If he were at the ranch, he’d work the frustration out by chopping wood. He closed his eyes, leaned his head back, and forced himself to relax. Anger burned inside him like an all-consuming flame. Ten minutes later, assured that he wasn’t going to drive like an idiot, he headed for his best friend’s house. He needed to talk to someone.
Jamison was pulling weeds from his garden while his four-year-old daughter played in her front yard sandbox.
“You look like crap. Are you hung over? How was the wedding?” Jamison asked. “Did you get to dance with Carly?” Jamison and his wife were the only people aside from his sister and father, who knew how hard he’d fallen for his sister’s best friend. He suspected his mother knew but if she did, she wasn’t saying anything.
“No. The wedding was nice. The aftermath was a crap-show.” He sat on the bottom step close to the flowerbed his friend was working in. Sissy left her sandbox to climb into his lap.
“Hi, Uncle Tree.” Cecelia had started calling him that when she learned that birch was a tree.
“Hi, Sissy Sis Sis.” He tickled her under the arms, making her laugh gleefully.
He explained the wedding disaster.
“Brutal. Tanya’s going to be mad when she finds out. I don’t know what she sees in that jerk.” Jamison pulled a weed and tossed it at the nearly overflowing bucket he’d been filling.
“How’s Carly?”
“She was out of it last night. She had downed half a bottle of wine when I finally found her. She’s not much of a drinker. I probably should have taken her home, but I took her back to my place.” How did he even explain the disaster that followed. “Last night was okay. I fed her and she fell asleep. This morning was he-ck,” He corrected the word before it slipped out in front of Sissy. He scraped his hands through his hair as he explained the morning and how he overreacted.
Jamison was quiet a long time. “She’s right, you know.” He paused and pulled a few more weeds. “I get it. She was married when you met, then she got pregnant, and then divorced. You were right to take it slow once she was single. But there’s slow and then there’s glacial. You screwed up. You should have asked her out.”
“How do you ask out someone who clams up or disappears when you try to talk to her? I was hoping she’d see me around and warm up to me.” He shook his head and set Sissy off his lap. He had to move, or he’d go nuts. He paced back and forth on the grass. Okay, she didn’t avoid him exactly, but it seemed like they were never alone together, and he wasn’t going to ask her out in public.
“She’s not shy around anyone but me. Half the time I thought she was afraid of me. Then this morning, she tells me what a great catch I am. Two minutes later, I’m a stalker. I think she was joking ... but dang it, it hurt.”
“Well,” Jamison’s wife’s voice came from inside the screen door. She bumped it open with her hip and handed Birch and her husband mugs of coffee. “It’s classic stalker behavior. I never understood how she didn’t see your interest, but that’s beside the point. It’s time to man up. Go to her, talk to her. Ask her on a date.”
“What she said.” Jamison raised his mug in a toast to his pregnant wife.
“Listen to the man,” Birch growled sarcastically. “You wouldn’t be married with 1.5 kids if I hadn’t hooked you up with Kelly here.”
“And I thank you for that,” Kelly kissed his cheek. “He’s a goofball, but he’s okay. Now,” she said. “Drink up and go apologize.”
He sipped the coffee which he didn’t really want. It landed in his churning stomach like a lead ball hitting a glass of water. It sloshed and roiled around as he thought about the past few years. He thought he was being respectful, not creepy. Was he wrong?
Probably.
“I have to go.” He handed his nearly full cup back to Kelly.
“Slow down, big boy,” Kelly said. She and Jamison laughed. Sissy joined in because her parents were laughing. “Don’t go off half-cocked.”
Jamison roared louder.
“Oh hush,” she glared at her husband but ruined it with a smile. “Take a bit of time. Formulate that apology and for the love of God, don’t go empty-handed. Prove you’re worthy and not a total creep.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Figure it out before you go see her. You’re a smart man. Use those brains for a change.”
He didn’t bother objecting to the cheap shot. She was probably right. He’d charge over without a plan and end up looking like an idiot as well as a creep. “I’ll try, Kelly. I’ll try. Thanks for the advice. Talk to you guys later.” He gave Sissy one last tickle and departed.
♥♥♥
CARLY FLOPPED ONTO the sofa and buried her head in a cushion to muffle her screams. If he liked her, why hadn’t he said something instead of creeping around? Okay, maybe not creeping around, she always knew he was there. Practically every time she was at his family’s ranch, he showed up within minutes. She realized it now, how had she missed it before?
“I’m an idiot.”
Her mind scrolled back through the years. It was like watching a bad romance movie. Initially, she’d been married, and there was no reason for him to show interest in her. If he was telling the truth about watching her from the start, he had done the gentlemanly thing and ignored the attraction, or at least hadn’t let it show. He said nothing while she was pregnant. After her divorce, he didn’t approach her. She totally understood that guys didn’t want to date a pregnant woman or a single mother of a toddler. Nor had she been ready to date.
She’d noticed how attractive he was the day they met, she’d been married, not dead. No harm in looking, right? Love didn’t make you blind to good-looking people. She certainly wouldn’t have started anything while with another man. But after her divorce, it should have been a different story.
It wasn’t long after her divorce was final that she started thinking of Birch as more than her best friend’s brother. It became impossible to ignore her attraction the day she’d been looking for Tanya and had found him knee-deep in the mud, bare-chested, trying to pull a calf free. She’d been struck senseless by his sheer masculinity. She’d gone from being able to chat with him to being tongue-tied and klutzy around him. Her inescapable attraction muddled her mind. She hoped he’d ask her out. Eventually, she realized that she’d have to find a way to do the asking. Only she never worked up the courage.
Tanya’s wedding was supposed to be her big chance. She had her friend’s blessing to date him and was supposed to be paired with Birch at the wedding, for everything. She accepted Tanya’s decision to go along with her future in-laws’ changes, hoping she’d get to dance with Birch at the reception. So much for that idea.
The universe was a jerk. It kept thrusting Birch into her path, and she kept screwing it up. If she had quit drinking last night instead of nervously glugging her wine, she might not have fallen asleep and she might remember more of their conversation. As it was, she only remembered bits and pieces. Who knows, if she’d been sober, maybe she would have tried to seduce him.
“Right, because you’re brave like that,” she grumbled to herself. She probably wouldn’t have done anything because she didn’t like to put people on the spot. She was a problem solver, not a problem maker. Which, of course, was how she ended up babysitting at her best friend’s wedding. Then ending the evening drunk and disorderly wasn’t her best plan. A vague image of trying to kiss him blurred through her mind. Surely, she hadn’t...
She got off the couch and showered. She didn’t have to work today, and she was exhausted, but with all the things bouncing around in her brain, she’d never be able to nap. She’d taken her one chance with Birch and ruined it.
“Ugh. He’s so mad, he’ll never speak to me again.” She stood staring at her dresser for a few minutes. In the end, she put on the clothing she’d borrowed because it smelled like him. Fresh and woodsy. Snuggled back on the couch, tea in hand, she called her mom.
As soon as she answered, Carly burst into unexpected tears. “Mom, I need a hug,” she sobbed.
“Come visit, there’s lots of room.”
She cried harder.
Last year, her folks had gone to Vegas for the winter. Spring came and they purchased a home in a nearby Nevada town, claiming they’d had enough winter for one lifetime. They sold their house, her childhood home, in nearby Drayton Valley. The condo she’d rented, and eventually purchased, had plenty of room for when they came to visit.
She did have an older sister in the city, but they had nothing in common, and her brother was overseas. With her best friend on her honeymoon, Carly was alone.
“I can’t. I have to work.” She’d love to flee to her mother’s arms, but it wouldn’t solve anything. When she came home, her problems would still be here.
Her mom made soothing noises and asked her what was wrong. Slowly, with many stops to cry and blow her nose, she told the whole tale from the first meeting to last night’s final blowout.
“You’re saying you didn’t know he liked you? Are you blind?” her father chimed in. He had picked up the phone almost immediately after her mother answered.
“Hush, dear,” her mother chided. “That isn’t helping.”
Her dad went on anyway, “I saw it long before you divorced. Frankly, I was worried that he would become an issue in your marriage. Not that I don’t trust you, but if he started hanging around too much, trouble might start.”
“How did you see that? You only visited here for a few weeks, and we just had two barbecues with his family.”
“A father knows when a man has designs on his daughter. I debated warning him off, but your mother wouldn’t let me.”
“Ancient history, dear. It isn’t the time for all that. This is about our baby’s broken heart.”
She never really had a broken heart before. She’d slowly fallen out of love with Mike and hadn’t dated much before she met him. She hadn’t gone on a single date after their divorce. There was no great heartbreak in their breakup, aside from her pain at watching him succumb to alcoholism. Thank heaven he’d recovered. Ending their marriage had been painful. This ... this screwup with Birch was gut-wrenching and heart-crushing. A boulder of pain pressed on her chest stopping her heart and bringing endless tears.
“What do you think you should do?” her mom asked.
“Move? I hear Nevada’s nice this time of year.” The weak joke fell flat, and her mom made a tsking sound. “Fine. I’ll be nice to him when I see him.” She rubbed the necklace he’d given her between her fingers. Holy crap! He had loved her back then!
“Carly,” her mom said in that musical warning tone all mothers used. The one that meant she knew that you were being stubborn.
“Fine. I’ll apologize.”
“And?”
“Not punch him. Be nice to him? Tell him how I feel?” She finally threw out the idea her mom wanted.
“There’s my girl,” her parents chimed in unison.
“Now, dry your tears and go do something fun. Maybe spend that quilt store gift card I bought you for your birthday. Fabric shopping always cheers you up. Sew up a nice quilt for your next baby.”
Her mother never missed a chance to ask, however obliquely, for another grandchild. They never would have moved away from their granddaughter if it wasn’t for her father’s crippling arthritis which was exacerbated by the frigid Canadian winters.
“Mom,” this time it was Carly’s turn to use the chiding voice.
“Okay, fine. But listen to me. If you like this guy, take a risk. Find out where it’s going. Don’t pine away any longer. Take action. I nearly lost your father because I refused to chase him down. It’s a darn good thing he’s much more stubborn than I am.”
“Don’t listen to her. I chased her until she caught me.” Her father’s laughter boomed over the line, lightening her spirits.
“Okay. I’ll think about it all. I’ll decide if I want him or not. If I do, I’ll chase him down. I’ll video call you with Layla tomorrow night when she gets home from Mike’s. Love you both.”
They said their goodbyes and she decided that maybe some retail therapy was just what she needed. She’d buy some fabric and start a new quilt while she had a few hours to herself. Layla would be home around six. That gave her most of the day for self-soothing fabric manipulation.
In the end, she purchased fabric printed with cute cuddly baby animals. She’d make a baby quilt like her mom suggested, but it wouldn’t be for her.
Right?
She was not thinking about Birch and babies. Not together. No way. That horse had already bolted.
