Shelby woke up in the morning to the merry and persistent chirping of a willy wagtail. It was the time of morning just before dawn when the quality of light through the window is grey and misty, and you're not sure yet if it's going to be a rainy day.
She lay snuggled in her doona in that moment between wake and sleep; relaxed, and content to let thoughts drift across her mind like clouds, or smoke, like daydreams.
Tonight, after work, she was going to sleep over at Erin's and they would edit their assignment video. The assignment asked them to reflect on what they had learned, and they hadn't filmed that part yet. Neither of them had ever come first in an assign-ment before. Shelby thought this time they would. They'd put quite a lot of work into it already, but it was enjoyable, mostly. Shelby hoped she could find ways to do video assignments in other subjects. It was much more fun than writing.
She'd never finished an assignment early before either. Now she had another whole week of holidays stretching out in front of her.
Tonight, Shelby had decided, she would tell Erin all about Aunt Jenny's trip and how the troupe had asked her to join them for the winter tour. Erin wouldn't want her to go, but maybe there was more to her perspective that Shelby hadn't thought of. If Shelby could trust Erin for anything, it was having a different perspective!
Shelby rolled onto her stomach, resting her chin on her forearms.
She was going to ring Chad as well, and ask him to come over for a barbecue. It would be embarrassing, especially after Mrs Crook ringing him, but she would like to see him again, and so she would have to get over that embarrassing part some time.
Dewdrops clung to the cobwebs in the trees, making them look like dream-catchers. The little bird sat on the fence swinging its hips, swaying its long, black tail, and chirruping.
There was a rabbit on the back lawn. It was a greyish brown colour and lean, with large black eyes. Every few seconds it would lift up its head and turn its ears independently, like two radar dishes. Shelby couldn't decide if it was cautious or bold, and decided it was both at the same time. So far the bunny seemed content with the lawn, but Shelby would have to wake her dad soon, before it discovered his precious vegie patch.
There were hundreds of bunnies in the paddocks at the stables. Mrs Edel was at constant war with them – terrified that one of the horses would step in a burrow and break its leg. That hadn't happened yet, but so far the rabbits were winning.
Shelby closed her eyes again.
Before she met Erin, Shelby had sat in the play-ground with a girl called Maddy – a slow-talking mouth-breather. Maddy had loved horses too, but her parents said she wasn't allowed to, so she loved them in secret. She drew pictures of them in the back of her exercise books, but they were always stylised and mystical looking – not like real horses at all. Some-times Maddy tore the pages out and burned them in case her parents found them.
Shelby wondered what sort of parents would say you're not allowed to love something. They can say you can't own a horse, but they can't be the boss of your feelings.
Why wasn't Maddy allowed to love horses? She'd never met them, but Shelby imagined Maddy's parents with pinched faces, and squinty, close-together eyes. Besides, it just didn't work. Maddy loved horses more than ever.
Once upon a time Shelby had wished to be one of the Crooks, but now she could see Mrs Crook ran Hayley's life to a tight schedule. Hayley didn't get to make her own decisions, even about her boyfriends! Brenda Edel lived her life in constant hard work every daylight hour, and some of the night, and Lindsey had to work too, whether she wanted to or not. Shelby guessed Lindsey had never had a holiday, or even two days off in a row. Both of those girls had inherited horses in their lives.
Erin, on the other hand, didn't come from a horsey family. She got a horse because Shelby had one. It wasn't a deep, long-standing passion like it was for Shelby or Maddy. Shelby thought it was almost too easy, and Erin could probably give it away tomorrow. Shelby could imagine some time in the future Erin would find a boyfriend, and then Bandit would sit in a paddock, dumped, like Lyrical and those other riding school ponies.
Shelby's own parents let her make mistakes. They trusted her to make decisions. They respected her. Shelby didn't have to pretend to be a different person when she was around them, like Maddy did. Shelby wasn't their puppet, or their slave.
She stirred again. The sun slanted across the yard, making long shadows, and glinting on the leaves. It wasn't going to rain after all.
It seemed so obvious to her now in this moment. She didn't need lists to know her destiny. The choice was simple, given who she was and what she believed in – given how she had been brought up.
The bunny must have heard something. It sat up on its hind legs, nose twitching. She could see the fur on its belly and imagine, if she stroked it, how soft and warm it would be. Before long another one lolloped into view. The two rabbits regarded each other with a seriousness out of keeping with their cute appearance.
Soon she would tell her father about the rabbits. Shelby smiled thinking about her dad in his pyjama shorts in the backyard, waving his arms and shouting at the bunnies – an effective but short-term solution.
First she would show her little brothers. Connor and Blake probably hadn't seen a real bunny up close before. Shelby climbed out of bed and tiptoed down the hallway.
Back in her room, Connor was still rubbing his eyes and complaining. Shelby shushed him. Blake's hair stood on end; his face was puffy with sleep. He peeked out the window.
'Awesome!' he whispered.
There were three now. One was only small, with its back to them, as if showing off its cotton ball tail. They nibbled and crept across the lawn, moving one at a time, and always watchful, like pioneers taking new territory.
She smiled. It seemed to Shelby that a cautious boldness was the secret to success.