Lexi forgot about her sore throat as she took him in. The thick wall of carved muscle was so deep across his stomach she could dip a fingertip into the hollows they created. A trail of black hair ran down from his belly button, and when she looked….
Her jaw almost became unhinged as she took in all of him. She should look away, but her attention remained riveted on the limp cock resting against his thigh.
She’d never seen a naked man before, and it was as fascinating as it was startling. Her hand fell away from her throat as she tried to process everything she was seeing.
It was rude to stare, but she remained riveted on him. And then her gaze traveled lower to his thighs and legs as he stood with his feet braced apart. Despite her every intention not to look again, her gaze returned to his dick before he turned away.
She found herself staring at his taut ass and wondering what it would feel like to grip it in her hands before he moved out of view. Once he was gone, the fire burned up her neck and face.
She’d been openly ogling him, and he’d seen her do it. What was the matter with her? He’d just been choking her, and she was pondering what it would be like to grab his ass.
The lack of oxygen to her brain had caused some damage.
Resting her hand against the wall, she took a deep breath and steadied the tremble in her legs before rising. As much as she’d love to remain huddled on the floor, she couldn’t do it.
However, she had to walk around the bed and in front of him to leave the room. She wasn’t sure her shaky legs would carry her that far.
As she waited to make sure she wouldn’t make an ass out of herself by falling on her face, she turned to discover him sitting on the other side of the bed with his hands on his knees.
More ciphers ran across his shoulder blades and down his back, where they stopped at the edge of his waist. He had far more of the markings than she’d realized.
How powerful is he?
Her attention was drawn away from the markings as his shoulders hunched forward and his head bowed. Misery radiated from him. If it wasn’t for her throbbing throat and the panic still thrumming through her, she would have climbed onto the bed, hugged him, and offered him some solace.
However, when she considered doing that, she flashed to him on top of her as his hand clamped around her throat. His mouth had twisted into a snarl that revealed his four fangs as she beat against him.
When his eyes flew open, she’d seen savagery, the likes of which she’d never witnessed before, in their silver depths. She’d also seen an emptiness that turned her blood to ice.
Before, when he looked at her, she always felt seen. But when he was choking her, he looked straight through her to something else. She’d realized he could kill her without knowing it was her.
Her struggles had increased, and she’d beat against him, but it hadn’t lessened his hold. It wasn’t until she landed a blow that shot his head back that he emerged from the grip of whatever controlled him.
She saw the clearing in his eyes and the devastation on his face when he realized what he was doing before he released her.
And now, she saw the dejected despair enshrouding him. Whatever he’d been dreaming about, it still haunted him, and so did his actions.
Still, she couldn’t stay here. He’d nearly killed her.
Her gaze traveled to the doorway as she edged around the bed. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him as she compelled herself not to run for the door.
He’d leave tomorrow. She did not doubt it. Even if Brokk weren’t ready for travel, he would go after the events of this night.
She ignored the sadness accompanying this realization. It would be better if he left. They should stop this treacherous game they played, but she didn’t want him to go.
She told herself she wouldn’t look back, but when her hand fell on the knob, she couldn’t stop her gaze from returning to him. His shoulders tensed as another round of thunder boomed throughout the room.
Darkness descended before lightning illuminated the room in a series of flashes. She recalled listening to the dragons as they ravaged the land. They sounded like this, and their fire had flashed over the walls the same way the lightning did.
Then she recalled his reaction when she asked him if the war was horrible. She remembered his hesitation before speaking and the anguish on his face.
It had been the look of a man who had committed and experienced atrocities she could never imagine. It had been the look of a man who hadn’t been broken by those atrocities, but they had forever altered him.
She hadn’t known Cole before the war, but she had no doubt he wasn’t the same man now as he was then.
How could he be?
He’d lost most of his family during the war and more than a few friends.
Her hand fell away from the knob as he remained sitting with his shoulders hunched forward, his head bowed, and his hands gripping his knees. He’d terrified her tonight, but she couldn’t bring herself to walk away from him while he was like this.
After Orin, she should have learned her lesson about trying to help others, especially the dark fae, but she found herself creeping toward him. Her mind screamed at her to run; this was a bad idea, but her heart and her feet propelled her onward.
He wasn’t Orin. He wasn’t an asshole who would turn on her like a rabid dog.
This was Cole. This was the man she’d spent the past few days getting to know better as they shared books and discussed their lives. This was the man who made her feel alive every time he touched her.
She briefly contemplated those who became shadow kissed before pushing them aside. It was a fear for a different time. This moment was only for them.
She would have asked him again what he was dreaming about when he attacked her, but she already knew the answer. He was lost to the nightmare of war, and she so badly wanted to find him.
When she stopped before him, his shoulders tensed as if he expected a blow and his hands tightened on his knees.
Unsure of what to do, she remained where she was. She’d been so certain while crossing the room, but now doubt wiggled its way in to fester at her mind.
He was a powerful, immortal being who was well versed in all the realms, and she was… well, she was her. She lived and worked on her small manor, her life revolved around her family, and she’d only ever left the mortal realm once in her life.
What could she possibly offer him?
Lightning flashed around the room again, and when he lifted his head, his silver eyes met hers. In his gaze, she saw such a mixture of distress and hope that melted her doubts.
He was the most powerful being she’d ever encountered, yet there was something broken about him, something she longed to heal. She wasn’t entirely sure how to do that, but some instinctive part of her told her she could.
She was a simple, not-so-powerful immortal, but she could offer him exactly what he needed…. She could help him heal.
When she cupped his cheek in her palm, his beard rubbed against her skin.
“Go, Lexi,” he said gruffly.
Instead of going, she lifted his face and bent to kiss him. For a second, she worried he would turn away, but he didn’t. Instead, his mouth was a grim, flat line against hers as he remained unmoving on the bed.
She’d made a mistake; she was making a fool of herself. She’d overestimated their connection, and he was about to pull away, laugh at her, and tell her to get out. He would remember her as the stupid fool who had been a game while he waited for his brother to heal.
If he remembered her at all.
The possibility he was toying with her had never occurred to her before. He was dark fae, but he’d come across as extremely honest.
She’d believed the passion behind his kisses and touch was real and not part of some game he was playing to pass the time. However, as he remained unmoving against her, she couldn’t help thinking she’d made a gigantic mistake.
She was starting to pull away when his arms encircled her waist. She had no time to react before he pulled her between his thighs. His hand slid up her back, his lips melted against hers, and he took possession of her mouth.
All possibility of making a huge mistake vanished when his tongue stroked her lips. It slipped inside her mouth, where it created a firestorm inside her.
Her fingers bit into his thick shoulders as he kissed her with a desperation she’d never experienced from him. His need for her was evident in every thrust of his tongue and the way his arms cinched around her.
He wasn’t going to let her go, and he wouldn’t be satisfied with a kiss this time. She’d known that as she crossed the room to him, but it hadn’t sunk into her conscious thoughts until now.
When she released the doorknob and returned to him, she’d known she was making a decision she could never take back. That she was walking a path she’d never walked before, and it could lead her straight off a cliff.
He would most likely break her heart, but at least she would get to experience that part of life. She would at least know what it was like to have him hold her and feel his body moving against hers.
His hand slid up her back to her nape before rising to entangle in her hair. Apprehension coiled inside her. He was so different from her, so much more experienced, and so sure of everything, while she was fumbling her way blindly forward.
When she returned to him, she’d hoped to keep him from drowning in a sea of memories and despair while trying to experience more of life. She was completely out of her depth here, but when his other hand slid down to cup her ass, some of her trepidation vanished as desire bloomed.