Cole held her closer as Lexi nestled against his chest. Thunder continued to roll, but he no longer heard the sounds of battle.
Instead, all he felt was a sense of peace as the rain plastered the windows and the wind howled across the land. This peace was something he’d never experienced before in his life. For the first time, he felt content and settled, and so happy he couldn’t stop grinning.
His entire life, the dark fae had dominated the lycan part of him, but now that Lexi was in his arms, he realized the lycan was making itself known more than he realized.
The dark fae had dominated power-wise, but he hadn’t realized the incessant, churning emptiness within him could be silenced. He’d always assumed that was what drove the dark fae from one partner to the next, but now, it was gone, and he now knew it had been coming from the lycan part of him.
She’d calmed that loneliness.
It was not completely silenced; the lycan still clamored to claim her to be completely pacified, but it was quieter and more content, and it would stop completely once he officially made her his.
But that could wait. She was just learning the ways of a man and woman; he would not tell her about his intentions to claim her for all eternity yet. He would do it soon, but for now, he intended for her to enjoy what was developing between them without any added pressure.
As he held her, he recalled watching as she wandered into the moon room. The luna flowers had reacted to her as if she were part lycan; they must have sensed she was his mate before he did. They’d been seeking to welcome her because they’d known she would become an integral part of his life.
He held her closer as he kissed the top of her head. The sweet scent of strawberries filled his nose and further calmed the lycan. The dark fae was still hungry, but it could also wait.
He wouldn’t feed on her without her permission, and even if she didn’t give it, there wouldn’t be any other women for him.
• • •
Lexi floated on a haze of euphoria as she remained cradled safely in his arms. She’d never felt so protected or cherished before. She wasn’t sure how long this feeling would last as he would eventually move on, but she was completely content to enjoy it for now.
The solid beat of his heart beneath her ear caused her to smile. She caressed the wall of muscle as she ran her fingers across his chest. She’d never dreamed of experiencing such a rush of pleasure or such wondrous contentment afterward.
She never wanted to leave this bed or his arms.
But reality was returning, and so was the realization she was wading into dangerous territory. She’d told herself not to develop feelings for him, but it was already too late. Even if it resulted in a shattered heart, she would ride this adventure to the end.
Was this what it was like to be shadow kissed? The possibility made her mouth go dry. She couldn’t become like one of them.
“Cole?” she whispered.
“Yes?” he asked as he twirled a strand of her hair around his finger.
“Will I become one of the shadow kissed?”
His hand stilled on her hair. “No.”
“Are you sure?” She lifted her head so she could look up at him. “I don’t want to be one of them. I know….” She gulped. “I know it's what the dark fae sometimes do, and I… I… can’t be one of them.”
“Then you won’t be. The shadow kissed are like that because it’s what they crave. Yes, the dark fae help guide them there, but the choice is theirs to make. Some let the dark fae feed on them and go on with their lives, and others seek more. Instead of shutting those cravings down, they search out more and more until it consumes them.”
She pondered this as she tapped her fingers on his chest. “So, it's like some humans with their drugs?”
“Yes.”
After what she’d experienced with him, she could see how easy it would be to become consumed by the need for more. She’d hate to walk away from him, but she would choose that over being shadow kissed.
“So, I won’t become one of them?”
“Not unless you allow it,” he murmured as he nuzzled her temple with his lips. “The shadow kissed have to let us corrupt them. As long as you don’t allow it, you’ll be fine.”
He could be lying to her and playing one of the dark fae games, but she didn’t think so. She wouldn’t fool herself into believing he was a kind, compassionate man, but he wasn’t a liar.
“Okay,” she said.
She stifled a yawn and her eyes closed. She was starting to doze when she recalled what happened earlier. They flew open again. She felt safe in his arms, but he was awake now.
What would happen if he fell asleep again?
That dose of cold reality smothered some of her happiness, but she refused to let it ruin the joy she’d discovered in him. The rain ticked against the glass as it pelted the windows.
He shifted to pull the blankets more securely around her. “You should sleep.”
“I’m okay,” she murmured as she stifled a yawn.
He clasped her hand and stilled it against his chest before kissing her head and her cheek. She warmed to the tender gesture and lifted her mouth to his.
When Brokk was better, he would leave, and she might never see him again. Until then, she planned to enjoy every second of what little time they had together.
She started to melt into him again when he pulled away and kissed the tip of her nose.
“Rest,” he commanded and tipped his head back to rest it against the headboard.
She tilted her head up to take in the vast expanse of his chest and dark ciphers. She traced his markings before her hand fell onto his stomach and her eyes closed again. Another clap of thunder caused them to fly open once more.
If he fell asleep and the thunder caused him to dream of the war again, what would happen?