“How…did…you…get…up…there?” Richard managed to gasp out between peals of laughter. Lawrence, his older brother, sat clinging to a branch several feet off the ground.
“I climbed” Lawrence growled. “Now could you please help me get down? The ladder I used has fallen.”
Richard held his sides and gasped for air. “No, I shall not help you until you tell me how you, Viscount Brantworth, heir to the earldom of Matlock, have managed to become ensnared in a tree.” A few more chuckles escaped Richard as he desperately attempted to control his mirth.
“Lizzy’s bonnet was in the tree, and she implored me with her big brown eyes to get it down for her. You know no one can say no to her when she turns those eyes upon him.”
“So, that tells me how you came to be in the tree, but I still do not see why you are still there. I assume after you had freed Lizzy’s bonnet from the branches of the evil tree, you threw it down to her?”
“Of course, I did.”
Richard, his arms across his chest with one hand rubbing his jaw, paced in front of the tree looking up occasionally at his vexed brother. “Then, when you turned to climb down, the ladder slipped and fell, leaving you perched on that branch like a forlorn cat?”
Lawrence winced at his brother’s reference to a cat. “Something like that. Could you please right the ladder so I might climb down? I am finding this to be a most uncomfortable place to sit.” His legs straddled the branch, and no matter how he shifted, parts of his body were becoming decidedly painful.
Richard smiled at his brother and considered waiting just a bit longer, but knowing there would likely be retaliation for such an act, he wisely chose to move the ladder.
A rustling came from the bushes behind him. He turned just as a bonneted ball of fury raced toward the tree and plopped herself on the ladder.
“He has not been up there long enough,” said Elizabeth. She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Richard daring him to challenge her.
Richard, who had jumped back in surprise, now stepped closer and sat on the ground near Elizabeth. “Am I to believe that my brother, who is nearly twenty, has been treed by a mere girl of ten?”
“Mere girl?” Elizabeth’s eyes flashed in anger. “And am I to believe that anything that is younger or smaller than a gentleman is to be treated with little or no respect?”
“Lizzy, calm yourself. I meant only to point out my brother’s ridiculousness. I did not intend to disparage you. I would not dare.”
“And so you shouldn’t.”
“Now, Lizzy, could you perhaps tell me why you are so angry with my brother? What has the scoundrel done?”
“Do you know Mrs. Allen, my Aunt Gardiner’s friend?”
“Yes. It is the Allens with whom you are staying, is it not?”
Elizabeth nodded. “She has a new mouser. It is very young and still learning to be brave.” Elizabeth looked up at Richard with sad eyes.
Richard found himself falling under the spell of those eyes.
One day when she is older, he thought, those enchanting eyes will catch some poor young man’s attention, and he shall be leg-shackled before he realizes their true power. Richard sighed. “And what did my brother do to this mouser?”
“He scared Esther.”
“Who is Esther? I thought we were talking about a cat?” asked Richard in confusion.
“We are.” Elizabeth looked at Richard as if he was not quite intelligent enough to understand spoken language.
“She named the cat Esther,” Lawrence called down from the tree. “You know how she is always naming things.”
“I can think of many names for you, my lord,” shouted Elizabeth, “but I shall not say them as I do not particularly fancy the taste of soap.”
Richard laughed. He found it humorous how Elizabeth could make my lord sound like a disparagement when she was exceedingly put out. “How did Lawry scare Esther?”
“When my lord attended your father, Lord Matlock, on his call to my Uncle Gardiner yesterday, Esther greeted my lord by purring and rubbing against my lord’s leg. He was wearing trousers and shouted at Esther to not leave her fur on his clothing. Then he kicked her. He kicked her!”
“I did not kick her. I simply nudged her away with my leg.” Lawrence moaned. “This branch is becoming most unbearable.”
“Good.” Elizabeth smiled wickedly at Lawrence before returning to her tale. “He nudged her forcefully away from his leg and then stomped his feet and clapped his hands to shoo her away. The poor little thing took such a fright she raced right up a tree and sat there mewing until Mr. Allen could get her down.”
“How long did the poor creature suffer?” asked Richard with some trepidation.
“Two hours,” said Elizabeth. Lawrence groaned.
“And my brother has been in the tree for how long?”
“Not long enough.”
“How long is not long enough?”
“Half an hour,” came the call from the tree. “I am sure that sitting in a tree is not nearly as painful to a cat as it is to a man. They are more nimbly made after all. Please do not make me sit here for two hours.”
Elizabeth glowered at Lawrence. “Do you promise to be kind to Esther and all other creatures?”
“I assure you, Elizabeth, that my arms and legs shall soon lose all feeling, and then I shall fall from this tree.”
“Do you promise?” Elizabeth called up to the tree.
“Do I promise to fall from the tree?” asked Lawrence in shock.
“Were you not attending?” Elizabeth stood, hands on her hips. “I said, do you promise to be kind to Esther and all other creatures?”
“Pray forgive me, Elizabeth. It seems my discomfort must have distracted me.”
Elizabeth huffed in exasperation. “Do you promise?” she repeated.
“Yes, yes, I, Lawrence Alexander Berkley Fitzwilliam, Viscount Brantworth, future Earl of Matlock, promise to be kind to Esther and all other creatures.”
“Very well, you may come down. Richard, the ladder for my lord,” Elizabeth commanded with the authority of a lady of great rank.
“Your wish is my command, my lady,” said Richard with a bow and a smirk.
“As it should be,” she returned with a laugh.
Richard propped the ladder against the tree and held it steady as his brother descended. Lawrence shook and patted his limbs as he tried to relieve the tingling sensation which coursed through them.
“Lizzy,” said Richard as the three began to walk back to Lambton. “Two questions are plaguing my mind. First, why are you out here in the orchard without a chaperone or your sister? Second, how exactly did your hat get lodged in a tree?”
“I was not alone, Richard. Lawrence was with me, and before that, Jane. Did she not send you to seek me?”
“Yes, she did. She said you had wandered away, and she was afraid you were lost. But, that was a ploy, was it not?”
“Indeed,” said Elizabeth with obvious satisfaction that her plan had succeeded so well. “I was strong enough to knock the ladder over, but knew I could not lift it back into place.”
“And the answer to my second question? How did your bonnet become lodged in a tree?”
“I climbed up and placed it there,” said Elizabeth.
“But there was no ladder near the tree, and you said you could not lift the ladder,” said a bewildered Lawrence.
Elizabeth smiled sweetly at him. “Perhaps a mere lord needs a ladder to climb a tree, but I can assure you a mere girl does not.”
Lawrence gaped at her as Richard howled in laughter.