Chapter Nineteen

Edelweiss

The leaves crunch under our feet as I gaze up at the sliver of the moon. “You didn’t wear a costume,” I say to James. The wind howls, biting at the skin on the back of my neck, arms, and legs.

James takes a seat a few feet away from me, as planned. The space feels awkward, and I can’t help but slide an inch closer. Usually, we’re right next to each other. He glances down at his football jersey. “Sure I did. I’m a football player.” His warm chuckle fills the night air. “Honestly, I was so busy prepping the prank this evening I totally forgot.” He glances back toward the windows at the dancers inside.

Probably wondering what he’s missing out on. Or who, for that matter.

“We can make this fast if you want.” My fingers fidget, so I ball them up in my lap. “I mean, fights are supposed to be quick, aren’t they?”

He shakes his head. “Depends on the person. With you, it should start slow with talking. You’re too sweet to just go off on me without trying to speak things through first. Maybe we talk a bit, and then you can stand up and yell a little? I’ll come in like I’m going to kiss you, and you shove me away, stomping off. Or something like that?”

I nod. The wind whips around the corner, sending shivers down my legs.

“You’re cold.”

“A bit, yeah.”

“Here. I’ll give you my jersey.”

I laugh. “No thanks.” His thoughtfulness is killer. “Handing over your jersey isn’t really breakup material.”

He frowns, then a second later he tugs it off anyway, revealing a white T-shirt. “We’ll tell people I was hot from dancing. Take it.” Instead of tossing it over, he brings it over to me, then takes a seat on the bench right next to me.

“Now this really looks like we’re breaking up.” Still, I put it on. The jersey is still warm from his body.

He sighs, pressing himself off the bench and moving down to the next one over. “Better?”

“More believable.” But not better. I press my toe into the ground, spinning it on a leaf to turn it into dust.

“So, what are you going to do with your freedom?”

“Sleep around, of course.” I toss him an eye roll, and I can’t help but catch the hiss in the back of his throat. “Kidding,” I add. “I’ll probably just hang out more with the girls.”

“There’s no guy you’re waiting for?” He taps his lip. “Maybe Gavin would be good for you?”

“Gavin?” I actually cough. Most girls swoon over a guy with a guitar, but it’s nothing compared to James. “No thanks. I’m not really interested in dating anyone. Once we break up, that item on my list will be checked off.”

He nods. “Well, let me know if you need help checking off some of the other items on your list. I’m game.”

“How? We won’t be talking much.”

“Right.” He pulls out his phone. “I’m still going to text you after all this. Is that okay?”

Texting. Yes! At least that’ll be some sort of connection we can maintain. “I’d be mad if you didn’t.”

“So…” He frowns. “You should probably stand up and yell at me a bit.”

A dreadful feeling sinks within my chest. “I don’t think I could ever yell at you.”

“Sure you can.” He laughs, glancing down at the patio. “I got a good earful after the shower rescue.” When he looks back up, there’s a firm determination in his eyes. He wants this. No, he needs us to be apart.

My heart nose-dives to the patio. There must be another girl.

What’s wrong with me? None of this is real! I was never his girl to begin with. “I’m being silly. Of course I can yell at you.”

A grin spreads across his face. “Then get to it.” There’s an arch in his brow, a playful challenge.

I jump to my feet, my heart fluttering like a humming bird. “James Parson!” My voice cracks.

“You call that a yell?” He laughs. “God, you are adorable.”

Adorable? No! I want to be desirable. “Don’t. Call. Me. Adorable.”

“There we go. That’s the anger we’re looking for. Now shake your finger at me.”

I do.

“Oh my God.” His palms pull down his cheeks with a groan. “I knew I should have had Emma teach you the ropes of a good argument.”

“Emma?” I stand back. “You wanted me to learn from Emma?”

“There you go! Now you look pissed off.” That’s because I am.

He jumps up and in one stride closes the distance between us, scooping me into him with his arm. When his lips touch mine, it’s bold and brilliant.

And then I’m gone.

My lips part, and I can’t help but let him kiss me, and oh how he kisses me. How am I supposed to push him away? Logic defies me with the heat from his lips and the way he curls me into his chest.

“Edelweiss,” he whispers, pulling away briefly.

“Just—” I stretch up on my tiptoes and brush my lips against his once more.

“Trying to make it look real?” he asks.

My response is another kiss.

“I’m thinking you should take up drama club.”

“Maybe.” Heat floods my cheeks. What am I doing? I press my palms into his chest, glancing up at those deep, brown eyes, focusing on those golden flecks so I’ll never forget how mesmerizing they are.

“Edel.” There’s an ache in his voice. He’s begging for this to end. Now.

If that’s what he needs, I’ll give it. Even if he has no idea he’s walking away with my heart in his hands.

“Go,” I hiss, pressing into his chest with all my force. He staggers backward, his eyes popping wide in shock. Maybe he should be the one taking up drama club.

“Edelweiss!” He calls after me, and I force myself to ignore him, bolting back inside before I lose brain function and maul him with my lips one last time.

…

“What do you mean it’s over?” Tuti’s warm hand rests on my back. “You two were just kissing on the patio.”

“He…” God, I can’t even say the lie he wanted me to tell people—how we just stopped feeling our spark. “It’s just over, Tuti. We’re not right for each other.”

Her fingernails gently scratch my back. “I’m so sorry, Edelweiss. I know how much you liked him. Maybe you guys just need to talk things out?”

“No. We tried that.” My voice cracks, and as it does, my heart goes with it. My eyes burn into my pillowcase, tears squeezing their way out.

It’s really over.

Our bedroom door flies open. “Is this real?” Ainsley asks while she charges through the room, waving her cell phone in the air.

“He’s such an ass!” Charlotte runs in behind her. “Oh, heavens. Look at you!”

I try to drag my head off the pillow, but it’s almost like there’s a weight pinning me down, the universe demanding that I stay put while it figures out where my heart went.

Charlotte kneels, her forehead puckering as she shakes her head. “You’ve got it bad, girl.”

“And you think that’s helping?” Ainsley groans, yanking her back. “Edelweiss, please.” She holds up her phone, showing me Proctor’s Instagram post from the party still going on downstairs. It’s a photo of James with a girl in his math class dancing together. She’s pressed in so close that her boobs look like they might pop out of that little angel gown. The image makes me sick, but the caption makes my skin prickle and the hair on my arms stand on end.

How could he say that about me?

“What does it say?” Tuti asks, taking the phone and reading aloud. “Closed legs means a new girl for the King of Brockmore.” She drops the phone. “Oh my god. That’s horrible. He broke up with you because you didn’t want to have sex?”

I can’t even answer the question. Man, he must have wanted distance from me fast if he was willing to say that. My stomach turns over, and I groan, reaching for my trash bin.

“Whoa, girl.” Charlotte jumps out of the way just in time, and someone holds my hair back while the punch I drank at the dance decides to take an encore.

“No more pictures. No more questions. Are we in agreement, girls?”

Tuti smooths my hair back, and I can’t help but look to Ainsley. How I wish I could explain everything to her. We should have told her that we weren’t real. And now she truly believes her brother is an asshole. “Ainsley, I’ll be fine. Don’t believe that photo, okay?”

“And she’s delusional.” Charlotte hands me a tissue for my mouth. “Honey, this has nothing to do with Ainsley.”

Ainsley presses her lips together. “What happened, then?”

“Oh my God.” Charlotte tosses a pillow at Ainsley. “If you aren’t going to comfort her, then go.”

“Fine.” Ainsley shoves herself off Tuti’s bed and makes for the door.

“What’s gotten into her?” she says.

Charlotte sighs. “I think she’s always liked James. I swear I’ve seen them talking more than a few times. God.” She plops on Tuti’s bed. “How did I miss that?”

Tuti seethes. “Charlotte. Is this really the right time for all this?”

“Guys, forget her.” I sit up and hug my pillow to my chest. “She needs a little time. It’ll work out, I promise.”

“Well, I doubt you’ll want any of this.” Charlotte looks to a bag on the floor. “When I saw the Instagram post, I may have flirted with one of the servers down there and convinced him to steal us a few pints of Ben and Jerry’s from the kitchen.”

“Seriously?” Tuti squeaks, looking into the plastic bag. “Chocolate chip cookie dough!”

“Have at it.” I curl up and press as deep into the mattress as I can manage. “My chest actually aches. How long does this last?”

Charlotte sighs. “Unfortunately, none of us has ever been in love before. You’re sort of paving the way on this one. But we’ve watched enough Netflix to know we need ice cream.”

Love?

The word I’ve desperately pushed out of my mind since James first kissed me in the library snakes its way into the empty void in my chest.

No. I can’t love him. A deep sense of betrayal is what’s ripping through me. How dare he take my heart and toss it on the dance floor with a label that makes me seem like the most pathetic girl in school?