Chapter Twenty-Three

Edelweiss

The golden haze from the sunrise floats behind the fog. I gently pull my fingers back from the blinds, hoping the way they brush won’t wake Tuti. She refused to go to bed unless I promised her I wouldn’t turn myself in.

For the first time in my life, it was easy to lie.

With my iPad clutched to my chest, I tiptoe out of the room and through the wing of the dorms. While Brockmore sleeps, I slip away into one of the study alcoves and take a seat on the floor to Skype my parents.

“Are you okay?” Dad answers the call. “It’s five thirty in the morning for you.”

“Is Mom around?”

“Oh. Is this a girl sort of matter?”

“No. I need to talk to both of you.”

He must recognize the seriousness in my face, because he leaves the computer screen and in the background I can hear him turning off Mom’s exercise DVD.

“What’s going on, babe?” Mom asks before she even takes her seat. When she appears on screen, she’s dripping in sweat and her hair is tied up with her old scrunchie.

“You guys once told me that if I’m ever in trouble, you want to hear the news from me first.”

Dad presses his lips into a thin, red line, and Mom looks to him with a keep your mouth shut type of expression. It’s not hard to imagine her kicking him under the table.

“Right,” I continue. “Anyway, I got in over my head here at Brockmore.” I can’t even look at them while I say it. “Everything started out on the wrong foot, and I tried to correct it with lies…which lead to blackmail.”

“Blackmail?” Dad leans into the screen. “Tell us everything, Edelweiss. At once.”

So I do. I tell them about pretending to date James, Emma’s bullying, and how I stole the exam to keep James out of trouble. Speaking the truth lifts a dreadful weight off my neck.

In only a few hours, I’ll be free of this nightmare.

“I’m going to turn myself in this morning,” I finally say. “You should be expecting a call from the headmistress sometime in the next hour or two.”

“Wait.” Mom holds up her hand.

“Stop.” I suck in a deep breath, trying to keep a sob at bay. “I know I disappointed you, and I’m so sorry. I wanted to show you I was living, make some headway on that ridiculous list. If I had a boyfriend, then you guys would think I was fitting in here.”

“That’s why you concocted a fake relationship with James?” Dad asks.

Mom rubs her temples. “This all backfired. Baby, we just wanted you to enjoy yourself. Dating is not a requirement of a successful high school experience. I should have never teased you and written that in your book. Sometimes I forget that you’re not me, honey. My first heartbreak prepared me for my second, which rocked my world in college.”

Dad rests his hand on Mom’s shoulder. “But then I came along.”

“Yes.” Mom dabs at the dampness under her eyes. “But to assume that Edelweiss would live my life? I’m sorry I interfered. You never know. Maybe James is your real deal like your father was mine.”

“Honey, she confessed her relationship was fake.”

“Fake? Darling, can’t you see that your daughter loves him?”

Loves him. There’s that word again. The truth of her words tastes terrifying. I do love him. Every cell in my body and fiber of my soul loves him. Needs him.

And it blows.

Dad’s jaw dangles open, and Mom pats him on the back. “Don’t worry. I’ll explain it to you later.”

“I don’t know what to do. He…” I sigh. “It doesn’t matter. Once I turn myself in—and I have to turn myself in?”

Both of them nod firmly.

“Once I turn myself in, it’s all over.”

“Love always finds a way. Believe it.” Mom reaches out toward the screen. If she were here, without a doubt she’d wrap me in her arms for a long hug.

But she’s not here, so I shrug. “So now you know.” A scrape of the front door makes my throat swell. “That may be the headmistress. I should go.”

“Edelweiss, even though we are disappointed that you stole an exam, we couldn’t be prouder of who you have become.” Mom smiles. “You’re handling this like a true adult.”

“Does being an adult feel like crap?” I mutter.

“Another conversation for another day.” Mom blows the screen a kiss.

“We’ll have lots of time for it once I fly back to Monaco.”

Dad leans forward and speaks with delicate intension. “Babe, visualize where you want this story to end, not where you fear it will go.”

“I will, Dad. Thank you.” I end the call and take a deep breath, embracing his advice to picture the life I want.

What do I want?

James, laughing and holding my hand. I picture us at a dining table with Tuti, Jordan, Ainsley, Charlotte, and Gavin. Then I picture his lips brushing up against my own.

My soul aches with how desperately I want to stay at Brockmore.

With a little prayer, I peel myself off the carpet and walk straight to the already-lit office. “Edelweiss?” The front-desk secretary lifts a brow. “What can we do for you, honey?”

“I need to speak with Headmistress Creighton.”

Her eyes widen, likely suspicious of the correlation between my early arrival and the stolen exam. She picks up the phone. “Yes, Edelweiss Lee is here to see you.”

A second later the oak door in the back corner opens, and Headmistress Creighton steps out in a navy-blue power suit and white high heels. “Come on in, Edelweiss.”

It’s the first time I’ve stepped into her office since Dad signed my contract with Brockmore. At the time, the walls felt endless and the space filled with promises. But right now, as I take my seat, the woodwork seems to mock me, closing in like a collapsing tent.

“It’s not often a student seeks me out at six in the morning.” Headmistress Creighton folds her hands gently on her desk after taking her seat. “How can I help you?”

“The exam—”

“Oh, honey.” She cocks her head to the side. “You really do care for him, don’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

She grins softly. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”

Why on earth is she smiling? “I’m sorry, I’m a bit confused, ma’am.”

“You’re here to tell me that James stole the exam, correct? Turn him in so he can become a better man?”

“James?” I jump to my feet. It’s high time she understands that James is a great guy. “Why would you assume James would do something like that? He loves Brockmore and would never flirt with academic dishonesty.”

“Really?” She shifts back in her seat, studying me.

“Listen, he told me about his bad track record, but believe me, he’s changed. Don’t link his name to that stolen exam.”

“Then who took it?” Her rosewood eyes pierce my own, and there’s a second where I swear there’s a little flash of gold.

“I took it, ma’am.” There’s no use telling her about Emma, because the bottom line is that I messed up. I refuse to walk through life blaming my choices on someone else.

Her arms cross. “How many students saw the questions before the test?”

“As far as my knowledge goes, only one that doesn’t include me. I didn’t read the questions though. Not that it matters.”

“Why’d you do it? To get James to notice you after he dumped you?” she offers.

“Yes.” My mouth runs dry. “Well, no. Not exactly. It’s complicated.”

“Edelweiss, this is a very serious thing to confess.” She stands up and paces behind her desk.

“I’m well aware.”

“You’ll have to wait in the office!” The secretary’s voice echoes down the hall as Creighton’s office door is yanked open. Charlotte barrels through in her pajamas, pulling in Emma behind her with both Ainsley and Tuti bringing up the rear.

“Oh my God,” I whisper.

“Excuse me, ladies. We are having a conversation,” Creighton says.

“But you don’t know all the details!” Tuti nudges Emma. “Either you tell her, or I will.”

Ainsley opens her laptop and places it on Creighton’s desk. “I was able to trace the IP address from your post.”

Emma turns on the waterworks, gazing out of the window. “I was jealous of James liking Edelweiss, so I blackmailed her into stealing the exam for me. I wanted her to get caught.”

“You what?” Headmistress Creighton returns to her chair and takes a deep breath. “Okay, you two. Sit.” She points between Emma and me and the chairs in front of her desk. “And you three?” She nods toward a seating area in the corner where I imagine she has tea with prospective parents. “Sit.” Once Tuti, Ainsley, and Charlotte retreat, the headmistress leans in and glares at Emma. “What did you blackmail her with?”

“With this.” Emma, now away from Charlotte and Ainsley, reaches into her bra and takes out her phone.

Charlotte hisses from the corner. “You deleted it in front of us, you brat! You had another copy in that thing?” She knocks the back of her head against the wall. “God, Emma. You are worse than a snake.”

“No more words from any of you. I’ll take the photo now, Emma.”

Emma slides the phone across the desk and within moments the headmistress’s eyebrows lift. “Is that your window, Edelweiss?”

“Yes, but I had no idea he was there. He never came in.”

Please don’t ask any of us if he has ever been in a girls’ room before. Please, don’t make them lie for me.

Her eyes flicker to Ainsley, then back to the photo and Emma.

“Did James enter the window, Ms. Brown?” The two look at each other for a full minute before Emma drops her head to study the paperweight on the table.

“No.” Emma presses her hand onto the desk. “He did not. He immediately climbed back down.”

“And you thought using this photo would get them both expelled? Is that really what you want?”

Emma moves her head a millimeter to the left, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Well.” The headmistress leans back in her chair. “You ladies have offered plenty of enlightenment this morning. First, I need to figure out who actually stole this exam.”

“I did, ma’am.” I scoot forward in my chair. “I called my parents this morning, and I’m prepared for the consequences.”

“A consequence that would be easy for me to deliver if someone else hadn’t already confessed to the crime.”

Who would do such a thing?

“Edelweiss, if you could remain in my office please.” Creighton stands up. “To the rest of you girls, I’d appreciate it if you spent the next hour talking some things out with our school counselor. Emma, how about you swing by my office after breakfast this morning?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Creighton walks the girls out of the office, leaving me alone in the room for forty-five minutes. Forty-five minutes of studying the golden ceiling tile and the carvings in the woodwork hugging the doorframe. Forty-five minutes to memorize the smell of Brockmore. Cedar. Old books. And mint.

It’s easier to breathe with all of the lies off my chest. The fog in my head has lifted. Clarity is easy to find when you’ve laid it all out on the table. Terrifying, yes, but clear.

Not a shred of my body regrets my decision to be James’s fake girlfriend. Yes, it led me into a level of drama I thought people only joked about, but it led me to him. And I’ll take any piece—even if it’s only being his ex-girlfriend for the rest of eternity—if it means he is part of my story.

No matter what happens, I can’t feel bad for myself. I have real friends, ones who tried to save me. Rushed in when I needed them most. God, I’ll miss them so much.

When the door opens, I’m in such a better place. A calm has replaced the restlessness in my heart. I don’t even have to look up to know he’s here. Every inch of my skin warms when that extra pair of footsteps enters the room.

“You two need to talk.” Creighton leans up on the desk while James takes the seat next to me. He smells of oranges and sandalwood, fresh out of the shower. Pretty sure I smell like salt and worry.

“Hey,” he says.

“Edelweiss, meet the guy who confessed to stealing the test.”

My jaw drops. “You did not.”

“So who’s protecting whom?” She rubs her eyes. “Listen, I’ve been up all night worrying about losing James.”

“Losing James?” An odd thing for a headmistress to say. I glance between them, too tired to mask my curiosity.

James grunts. “Edelweiss, please meet my aunt.”

His aunt? I spin around, facing him down. “How could you not tell me that until now?”

“There are a lot of things I haven’t been honest with you about.” The words slice through me like a knife through butter.

“Hey, now.” Creighton taps the desk to get our attention. “Focus here. What’s going on?”

“I stole the exam, ma’am. James had nothing to do with it.”

“Is this true, son?”

Those deep, brown eyes—oh duh, no wonder the headmistress has some gold in her eyes—find my own. He looks at me like I’m sunshine and clear skies. “I promised to protect you, Edelweiss.”

“By getting yourself expelled? Why would you do that, after everything we did to convince your father you’d changed?”

“Oh heaven, help me. How deep do these lies go?” she asks.

James shifts forward in his chair, his leg bouncing under the desk. “We pretended to date to keep Dad from yanking me out of Brockmore.”

The way he says it is so matter of fact. So flat. To him it was nothing but a business arrangement, so I do my best to keep my voice steady. “It was temporary. Still, I got to know James and respect him. What Emma was going to do was wrong, and I couldn’t let that happen to him.”

“So did you or did you not steal the exam, James?”

James gazes at me. “The lines blurred. It’s hard to figure out what’s fake and what’s real anymore.”

“Okay.” She hops off the desk. “That’s enough. James Matthew, you can unpack your bags. Obviously, you didn’t steal the exam, and I won’t be calling your father about Emma’s photo. I checked Brockmore’s bylaws and to my astonishment, there is no official rule about climbing the walls of Brockmore or looking in a window. Of course, this will be revised immediately. As the headmistress, I’m gravely disappointed in you. But as your aunt? Congratulations. You’re a pioneer.” Her voice is deadpan through the entire speech, but the way James jumps up and pulls her into a hug, it’s obviously full of love.

“And Edel?” he asks. “The fact she only took the exam to protect me has to count for something.” His eyes are bright, far too full of hope for what he knows must be coming.

This isn’t a battle worth fighting. Right now only one of us walks away wounded, and I’m okay with that. I look to Creighton. “I messed up, and I understand the punishment.”

“It’s probably best you go.” His aunt—not the headmistress—embraces him. “I picked out your tuxedo for the dance tomorrow night. Want to swing by and have dinner tonight when you grab it? We still have a lot to discuss.”

“Be easy on her, Julie. Please.” He squeezes her shoulders firmly before he leaves the office. On his way out his eyes catch mine, but I immediately glance away. I may have done this for him, but that doesn’t make it easy.

“Again, headmistress, I am sorry.”

“I know.” She folds her hands on her desk. “Did you really already call your folks about this and confess?”

“Every word.”

“Not many kids would do that. Usually students do everything they can to keep their parents from learning about their mistakes.”

“My parents are a little different, so it makes it easier. They’re forgiving of mistakes.”

“Is that why you thought it would be okay to take the exam? You assumed Brockmore would forgive you?”

She’s giving me an out, an opportunity to play the “I didn’t understand how Brockmore worked” card, but there’s a warm centering in my chest that I can’t ignore. The only way to face this is with honesty. “No.” I shake my head. “I knew taking the exam landed me in an expulsion category. I didn’t come here asking for forgiveness.”

“Well…” Her lips settle into a steady grin. “Maybe you should.” When I don’t answer, she laughs. Actually laughs. “The bylaws do have another clause, and thankfully no student reads them too closely. The clause allows me as headmistress the final judgment in regard to whether a student will be expelled.”

“Wait.” I grab the armrests of the chair for support. “So I’m not being expelled?”

“Edelweiss, I’m not the type of leader who would kick out an honest, courageous kid. Kids like you are what make Brockmore great.”

Her words are like tossing sugar on a campfire. I nearly jump out of my chair, wanting to hug her, but the lift in her eyebrow makes me stop.

“This morning at breakfast I will announce that the guilty party has been dealt with and no further details shall be made known. This conversation though? It stays between you and me. If I hear that it’s leaked, I’ll know the source.”

“I understand.”

“I cannot have the student body thinking these rules are gray rather than black and white.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you so much.”

“Your entire class will have to retake the exam, and you will receive a zero.”

My chest shakes a little, but a quick calculation means my grade will only be slammed down to a B-minus. Survivable.

She continues. “I expect you to serve detention for the rest of the semester and the entirety of next semester as Ms. Jennison’s student service worker, every evening for two hours. She was shocked, and you owe her an apology. She did, however, say you are her best student. You’ll help her with tutoring.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes, headmistress.” Second chances taste sweet. I scoot to the edge of my seat, my legs dancing.

She notices, opening her office door. “You may be excused, Edelweiss.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” It’s easy to float out of the room when my life has just been handed back to me. I’ll never let anyone have the upper hand on me again, that’s for sure. I check in at the secretary’s desk to find out Ainsley, Tuti, and Charlotte were excused from the school counselor half an hour ago. When I throw open the door, I’m taken aback by how empty the hallway is. How still. A reminder of how my world turned over while 97 percent of the student body slept.

“It’s a bit creepy before school hours, isn’t it?” James scrapes himself off the floor by the door. The door behind me swings closed with such vigor that I know there’s no way I didn’t whack him when I threw it open.

“Don’t sweat it,” he answers before I can even ask if he is okay. “I’m fine.”

“You waited.”

He nods. “I wanted to tell you why I was outside your window.”