When we lived in Dallas on Northwest Highway, we had gone to the Tom Thumb on a cold, wintery Friday night for groceries. I chanted that the check I wrote would be approved. I remember putting the groceries in the kitchen and you were in the den watching TV. I just started crying. I wanted to give up. I was so tired and depressed about raising a child alone and always worried about paying the bills and putting food on the table. I knew if I made a phone call to my mom, she would take over raising you in a heartbeat. The thought was so loud in my heart and mind to just “give up” and move into a smaller place alone.
I went to the altar and chanted through silent tears because I did not want to upset you. I can’t imagine how both our lives would have been if I did not have that hope in my heart to keep going and do whatever possible to keep us together. I know for sure I have absolutely no regrets for you in my life.
Love forever,
Mama
February 5, 2007