How do these issues affect the assignment?Pettiness and gossip usually run rampant in the workplace. And why? On the positive side (and yes there is a positive side!), they inform employees about what to expect from each other. This creates a sense of predictability and makes projects easier to control. On the negative side, well, you’ve probably been on the receiving end more than once. Pettiness and gossip can be wildly disproportionate, packed with lies, and mean-spirited. For your own sake and the sake of your workplace, you need to deal with it.
The best way is to redirect the conversation so it has a more work-related orientation. Look at the difference between the two:
Petty: She loves hoarding information. It’s her way to make herself feel powerful because she’s really insecure and mean.
Work related: She usually takes days, even longer, to respond no matter how many e-mails you send.
Petty: I think he’s crazy. I wouldn’t trust him for anything in the world.
Work related: The logic in the reports often doesn’t come together, and he frequently gets facts wrong.
The following section provides other perfect phrases that can help.
How do these issues affect the assignment?
That personal issue aside, what are her responsibilities?
Actually, I’m not concerned about her personal issues but her input into the project.
Let’s focus on her contributions to the project and how we can succeed.
So what is the best approach for working with him?
In this situation, it can be helpful to put the onus on the employee making the comment:
So how do you intend to work with him to get the best results?
What are some ways you can approach her for the best response?
What steps do you plan to take so that you can work together?
Make no mistake, name-calling is damaging, abusive, and wrong. Here are some ways, albeit blunt, to stop those remarks:
Let’s not act like kids, calling names. Just tell me how her work style will affect the project.
I’d rather not hear that kind of comment.
Saying things like that isn’t remotely useful. What do I need to know about his role in this project?
What does that mean in terms of my working with her?
Bill shouldn’t make comments like that, and we shouldn’t repeat them.
Let’s focus on more productive ways of discussing work.
That’s her opinion, but it isn’t helpful.
I’m not interested in those kinds of comments.
Next time, just tell Elizabeth to avoid those kinds of remarks.
In this situation, first squelch the rumor and then readjust the conversation so that you can move ahead. Here’s how:
We don’t have any evidence that this is the case, so let’s look at what we know.
I haven’t heard anything like that. Let’s steer clear of rumor. Now what do we have that’s documented?
I don’t know how that rumor surfaced, but let’s squelch it immediately. Here’s what I do know, though.
Let’s stick to the facts now. If anything changes, I’ll let you know.
Quick tip: Often it’s best to ignore the petty or gossipy remark altogether. Eventually, the gossipy employee will take the hint. In other situations, though, you will need to respond quickly and effectively.
It’s important that we stay focused on the subject at hand and avoid personal feelings.
We must act in the most professional manner possible.
We are all colleagues on an important mission. My expectation is that we will treat other people as such in this meeting and everywhere else.
Our goal is to solve our unit’s problems—not discuss personality issues.
I don’t want to discuss personality traits. We need to focus on accomplishing our goals.
Make your point to the group in general to avoid an embarrassing situation for everyone:
I’ve noticed that several people are acting unprofessionally. Please stop.
We can’t continue this meeting until everyone here approaches the discussion in the most professional way possible.
My expectation is that we will work as a team—which means everyone must be respectful and professional.
I think we all need to approach each other as professionals and equals in this meeting, and elsewhere.
At the last meeting, several people made personal remarks that caused others to feel uncomfortable. Please refrain from such comments in the November 5 meeting—and in the office in general.
You are among the most professional workers in our field. Please exercise that professionalism in our meetings and avoid making disparaging remarks.
Remember, we are guided by policies that require professional behavior in word and action.
Focus all your comments in the most productive and objective way possible—in meetings and in the office.