Thanks for letting me know your impression.Constant complaints rank as one of your most formidable foes. They undermine morale, slow productivity, and foster negativity that is contagious. One negative employee, supervisor, or even contractor can start a virus that spreads throughout your organization. You can’t tell your employee to lighten up, take a more positive outlook, or get a grip. And you don’t want to sound like a Pollyanna, forcing fake rays of sun into your employee’s discontent. Instead, make yourself available to address the complaints, using these phrases.
Thanks for letting me know your impression.
I appreciate your input.
I understand what you mean.
I was not aware that you saw the situation that way.
That’s an interesting way of seeing the situation.
Thanks for giving me your take on that matter.
Quick tip: Don’t use highly negative or catastrophic wording because it will only reinforce your employee’s negativity and block your ability to get past it.
If you agree with the comments, let the employee know immediately. This will validate the employee and lower his or her defensiveness. Also, indicate how you—or the employee—will move ahead:
I agree with many of your points. Let’s discuss ways we can address them.
You’re right in saying … What do you think we should do?
Much of what you’re saying has validity; so let’s clarify some of the points.
Yes, I agree. Actually, I’m meeting with the board on Friday to discuss this issue.
I think you’re right about some of those points. Let me update you about what we’re doing.
When you disagree, be diplomatic. Otherwise, you might embarrass the employee, make him or her feel you weren’t attentive, or otherwise fuel the negativity.
You’re wrong.
That is ridiculous.
I don’t think any other employee sees it that way.
Well, you must have blinders on.
Where did you ever get that impression?
I cannot imagine why you’re complaining.
I think you have it good.
Then try working somewhere else.
Actually, the meeting notes indicate that what I actually said was …
According to your contract, you can only …
I have the e-mail that I sent, and as you will see if you look in your mailbox, what I actually said was …
The manual requires that we take those steps to avoid …
Actually, we conducted a survey of … which revealed that …
Our customers indicated that they would prefer if we …
Avoid letting the employee put you on the defensive:
Instead of arguing the point, let’s look at steps to move forward.
So what do you think is the solution?
I understand your point. Now what other matters did you want to discuss?
At this point, you need be clear about a solution, not only the problem.
Employee comment: The projects keep changing. How can you expect me to get anything done?
Forward-looking response: Let’s look at what’s on the agenda now and work up an action plan.
Employee comment: No one here knows what’s necessary for the project but me. And I can’t do everything myself, especially with this tight deadline.
Forward-looking response: So what are some ways we can get people caught up? How else can we support you?
Every situation has downsides, I agree. Now tell me what you think we can do about them.
Given those circumstances, here are the results we should focus on achieving.
Let’s look at the goals we can reach at this point.
Regardless of those issues, we still have a mission to fulfill, so let’s figure out the best way to get there.
We’ll address each of those issues when they come up.
Okay, now let’s look for solutions to those problems.
We’ve addressed each of those drawbacks in previous projects, so we have plenty of solutions we can apply.
Give your employee responsibility for finding solutions. Be specific about how to do that:
Why not think up three or four ideas, e-mail me, and we can talk again next week.
If you want to discuss this further, think up some ways of addressing these complaints and e-mail them to me.
Please e-mail me a plan that will resolve this problem with some time frames attached to every phase.
I’d like you to draft a list of these concerns and write solutions beside each of them. Then, let’s discuss possibilities on Tuesday at 8:00.
In spite of these issues, tasks really do get done—on time and with great feedback from our clients. So I’d like you to find ways you can personally improve or live with them.
We’re known for having some of the best problem solvers in our field. So I’m sure you can solve each of the concerns you’ve raised.
Quick tip: Are the complaints fostering a negative environment ? If so, discuss the effects of negativity and remind your employees to take a more productive approach. Perhaps invite a specialist for a brown bag lunch or half-day seminar on how to protect against negative messages and resist conveying them. This will help difficult employees use more positive language. It will also create social pressure to make difficult employees resist griping and show fellow employees how to approach negativity when they confront it.