So, we’ve talked about difficult coworkers, impossible bosses, unfriendly vendors, and ridiculous customers. But what happens if that difficult person is you? Don’t think it’s likely? If you see this book in the hands of someone in the next cubicle and that person is flipping to the section on perfect phrases for difficult coworkers, that could be a clue.
Of course, be on the lookout for other clues as well. You may be thinking of obvious ones, such as whether or not you were invited to the last office party. Or those insulting words your boss wrote in your evaluation. Or, even worse, the fact that you didn’t get that raise you so richly deserved. Useful—yes. But beware. Take that office party—maybe you were out the week your coworkers held it. And the evaluation? Your boss may be like those restaurant critics who never give more than two stars. As for the raise? Profits are down, and everyone knows it.
On the other hand … there’s an old saying: "If a hundred Frenchmen tell you you’re drunk, you had better sit down." And the clues may point directly to reality. If so, don’t worry! The best thing you can do is identify the problem, make changes, and move on to bigger and better steps in your career.
The real indicators, though, may be the silent ones—those that accumulate in your head, circle around, and reappear moments later. Do you think negative thoughts about, say, 90 percent of the people in your office? Are you incredulous about how unqualified your boss (and her boss) is for the job?
Of course, those thoughts don’t have to occur only at work. Maybe you mutter to yourself about how much you hate the job…before you’ve even stepped out of bed and had that first cup of coffee. Or perhaps you peruse the employment section of the newspaper and think those entry level jobs have got to be better than yours … if only you didn’t need the money. Either way, take the hint. You’re probably no treat to work with, which is bad news for everyone—especially you.
Then again, you may be impossible … but only in certain circumstances or when working on certain projects. Or maybe the problem really isn’t you—the job really does stink, and your boss really is miserable, and your coworkers really are, objectively speaking, dolts. Regardless, your mission is to find out. And these perfect phrases, which you can use inside your head … and out … will definitely help.